Tuesday, October 30, 2007

You be the Judge

This happened to me not long ago and it is still niggling at me. I went to red a shidduch to a family I know fairly well. When I mentioned the boy's name, the girl said: "Oh my sister went out with him last year and it wasn't for her so it wouldn't be for me either."

My fingers are having "laryngitis" tonight so I won't tell you what I think about this. Instead, you tell me. Is there something wrong with this picture? Is there something right with this picture? At last, your chance to write a "posting" on this blog.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would need a lot more information. Was the reason the first sister said no because the boy was cheap or inpolite to her. Was there a big difference in their hashkafos. If the sisters are the same on this then saying no was the right thing to do. But just to say no because your sister dated the boy if everything else would be right for you I don't agree with. You hear all the time of boys who tell girls that they don't think they are a shidduch but shye would match his brother.

Anonymous said...

My sister and I are very different in most ways. After all the checking my parents do about a shidduch if a boy was red for my sister then he must have fit her at least on paper. If he did then he really wouldn't be for me. If there was a problem on the date like if the midos he showed weren't what she was looking for or he just wasn't a very nice guy then I wouldn't want him either. Either way, my sister and I don't date the same kinds of boys.

halfshared said...

To echo what the others have said, it is hard to say without knowing the full picture. I actually once went out with a boy that I thought better suited my sister. I definitely don't think that just because the older one said no, it should be a flat no for the younger one. Question is, why did the older sister reject the shidduch?

ProfK said...

Okay, so I'll give a little hint as to how the conversation went. The sister for whom I was redding the shidduch said, in affect, "How could I insult my sister this way? If she said no and I say yes then it means that I think she was wrong or that I know better then she does."

Anonymous said...

It doesn't sound like you were dealing with a 'grown up" young lady.

Anonymous said...

What, you never heard of a sister who couldn't buy a coat because her sister had the same one? Why should it be so different when it comes to shidduchim.