A Play on Words

I wish I knew who the author of the following is, because I'd like to congratulate them on seeing the "fun" in language usage and writing. Regardless, enjoy.

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore. I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm. Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At this age I need all the stimuli I can get!

Context Counts

Words have importance, but the context of where/how/when those words are said or written will affect how the words are understood. Thanks to a colleague who told me the following.

An immigrant to the US, originally from Europe, ran into his house highly agitated. He told his family that a terrible thing had taken place in Europe: the communists had invaded Italy and were murdering priests. The family gasped and asked how he knew this. He told them that he had seen it as the headline in a newspaper, in words two inches high.

So, what did this man read in the paper? "Reds Murder Cardinals." Yup, context counts.

No, What's on Second

Yes, a dreary, rainy day; yet, my mood is quite sunny. I've just spent a few moments reviewing class notes for a lesson for tonight, and I'm smiling all the way. We are studying the effect that words can have when they go forth. Yes, some of the items we'll be looking at are quite serious and had incredible effects on those who heard the words spoken or who read the words written. But I also point out that words can add a bit of lightness to our lives as well. To illustrate, I am using a comedic routine that originated back in the late 40s, early 50s, first presented by the comedy team of Abbot and Costello. This routine had everyone in stitches back then, and still causes laughter today.

To brighten your day--and to answer the question of "Who's on First?"-- head on over to the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfmvkO5x6Ng

Reason 43,569,843,507,662,198

Despite the gray hairs and the denigration that sometimes comes our way, English teachers plod on, knowing that somewhere, some time, some how we will break through and influence our students. And why should we need to do so? Because when we get messages such as the one that follows here, we rise to save the world from mis/dis-information.

Received this morning from a company whose technician is scheduled to come to my house:

"Your technician will arrive today at 5:00 pm, between 11:00 and 2:00."

Oh English, I Weep for Thee

A member of one of my professional chat rooms reported an incident that happened to him this week. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. He and his wife and three other couples went out to dinner together. They picked a local diner to eat at. Because it's summer and high schoolers are now on vacation, this particular diner hires a number of those highschoolers for various positions, although not normally as wait staff. However, the diner was busy so one of the busgirls was co-opted into taking their dinner order. She asked what everyone wanted. Two people ordered fried chicken. As she was writing down their orders she repeated them aloud: "Okay, that'll be 2 fried cluck."

One of the people who had ordered the chicken corrected her and said, "I'd like fried chicken." The busgirl replied: "Yeah, I know. You get fried cluck." Finally someone at the table asked her why she was calling it fried cluck. She answered: "Everyone knows that chickens cluck and the word is shorter to say and write then chicken is." Yes, one of those at the table is a professor of English, and I can understand why he couldn't resist saying "You know, chickens only cluck if you are a native speaker of English. In other languages they make different sounds and different words are used to represent those sounds. What if we had been non-native speakers of English? Using cluck would have told us nothing we could understand."

What was the busgirl's answer? Quite seriously she said: "Let 'em learn English!"

Yes indeed.

Paraprosdokians to Lighten the Day

Thanks to one of my fellow teachers who sent this my way via email. Ahhh, when those who practice the craft of English practice it well.


A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.
===================
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience...
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit;
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research...
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.......
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Some people are like Slinkies.... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...
so I said "Implants?"
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

On Defining Terms

We are a verbal people, using words in our interactions with others. We use those words in conveying information. We also use them in arguing or disagreeing with the words of others. But what seems to me to be seen across a whole lot of these verbal interactions is that those debating or arguing don't seem to recognize a basic fact: there is a difference between a fact and an opinion.

A comment thread on another blog that I was involved in revolved around just this difference between fact and opinion. The first place to start is with a definition of terms: what is a fact and what is an opinion?

Fact: something that actually exists; reality; a truth verifiable from experience or observation; a thing whose actual occurrence or existence is to be determined by the evidence.

In short, a fact is something that can be proven to be true or false through a derived method based in experience or observation, based on evidence. Centuries ago many people believed it was a fact that the world was flat. Any/all methods available at that time seemed to prove the truth of the statement. In later centuries methods for proving the veracity of the statement showed that the fact was false--the earth was round.

Opinion: a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty; a personal view, attitude, or appraisal; judgment or belief not founded on certainty or proof; a point open to question; a statement of personal belief; an assertion that may not be able to be proven as true or false.

An example of an opinion statement? Boy X is cuter than boy Y. Or perhaps broccoli tastes better than radicchio. Or even "Yossi is a better politician than Avraham is." These are a matter of taste, and taste is personal, not provable. The words "I like," "I feel," "I believe," "I think" signal that an opinion is coming, although they are not always verbalized when giving an opinion. Some people specifically leave out these words when making a statement to give the impression that the statement is a fact, not an opinion. Nonetheless, if such a statement cannot be subjected to an organized and accepted methodology for proving, they are opinions, not facts.

Now, there is a grey area when it comes to facts and opinions. Some of those who give their opinion on something use facts to back up that opinion. In this type of case the opinion is a conclusion come to based on facts. So, does such an opinion have validity to be considered as a fact? Yes and no.

Here's one example: You walk into your house and go into the kitchen. There is a pool of orange juice on your counter. You know for a fact that orange juice bottles cannot remove themselves from the refrigerator and pour themselves out on the counter. You know for a fact that only human beings can remove those bottles and pour. You come to the conclusion that someone in your house spilled the juice. Now, here are the facts you know right now. There was only one person who was supposed to be in your house while you were away--your son. Given what you know, you make the statement "My son spilled the orange juice."Without any further investigation you are making an informed opinion statement. But is this statement truly a fact? Further investigation might bring to light that your son had company in the house, so that any of the people in the house could have spilled the juice.

There is also the matter of who is making those informed opinion statements.When a doctor gives his/her opinion as to what might be ailing us, we tend to give weight to such statements. The doctor is experienced in the medical field and has specialized knowledge not available to most others. We assume that his/her opinion is of more validity than say the opinion of your mailman about what is ailing you. In such cases we tend to believe the opinions of such a person as if they were indeed facts. HOWEVER, such informed opinions are not always 100% correct. Testing, such as lab tests, might bring back the result that something else other than what the doctor said is wrong with you. Or those tests might be inconclusive, so we need to go further in seeing what is wrong.

To bring all this back to argumentation, conversations that take place in the "real" world and the virtual world are often argumentative in nature. Those arguments sometimes bog down or get downright nasty. The cause for this in most cases is that what is being argued about is not a matter of fact but a question of opinion--and opinions can't be wrong or right. "Enlightened" discussion requires us to recognize that while we might not like someone's opinion--and they might not like ours--we are entitled to have our own opinions without being labeled as wrong, pig-headed or evil.

Less is More

Imagine that your favorite author wrote a book that was 1900 pages plus. Would you begin reading it? Maybe yes and maybe no. And even if you began reading it, would you read with the same careful attention that you would a work that was far shorter? Would you be tempted to skim parts instead of concentrating on every word? Would you wonder if you were ever going to see the end and just give up without finishing the work? Would you skip whole parts just hoping to see the end at last?

Fiction writers don't write single tomes running to 1900+ pages. They understand the limitations of their readers. They also generally believe that any particular subject deserves its own work, not bundled together with other subjects broadly in the same topic area. There are plenty of authors who write series, centered around the same character or set of characters or around the same geographic area or general topic. The key is they write series--one book at a time. This allows the reader to absorb and digest one bite before being fed another bite.

Oh that our lawmakers would emulate these best selling authors. I am still trying to slog my way through the gazillions of pages in the Health Care package that Congress passed. And now the news is out that a fiscal reorganization plan that some congressional leaders are pushing to get passed is already at 1900 pages and not finished yet.

Is there anyone out there who seriously believes that our lawmakers, even one lawmaker, are going to go through a document of that size word by word, idea by idea and understand by page 1900 the import of things discussed on page 107? Is there going to be any lawmaker, even one, who will know everything that such legislation contains? Just what is it the lawmakers will be voting for when they have no idea about everything stated in a bill?

One word comes to mind when I hear about documents of this length: obfuscation. Somewhere, some place in those pages is something that someone, perhaps a lot of different someones, doesn't want people to know are a part of the package. Some lawmakers are counting on the fact that no one will thoroughly read a document of this length to sneak in some items that would not be so palatable if they were considered on their own. Instead, those items are going to be hidden in plain sight.

Amazingly the foundation documents of our country, the Declaration of Independence (one to two pages plus the signature pages), the Bill of Rights (one page) and the Constitution (four handwritten pages in the original, 17 pages including the amendments) don't come anywhere near the length of some of today's proposed legislation. You have to wonder why.

Note to Readers: It's not just me beating this particular drum. To see a view about our tax code, go to http://www.smartmoney.com/personal-finance/taxes/tax-system-too-complex-to-be-constitutional-1295026434475/ By comparison, the health care package is a breeze to navigate through.

And Yet It's English

In presenting some linguistic history of the English language, I pointed out to my students that languages in the same language family are not clones of each other; indeed, there may only be a faint resemblance. English and German are both in the same language family branch--the Germanic languages. I don't imagine that any of us would ever confuse the two languages.

How did they get to be so different? Time, circumstances and geography for a few things. In many cases languages change form as their speakers begin to pronounce certain spelled letter combinations in different ways. Sometimes we change our spelling of certain words to conform to this new pronounciation, and sometimes we don't. The word knight is a case in point. We've kept the old spelling but our pronounciation is a whole lot different from the original pronounciation of the word. Today's German speakers don't pronounce that word the same way that today's English speakers do.

And then we have kindergarten. Yes, this is the preferred spelling, although kindergarden will be seen in some instances and also appears in the dictionary. NY State officially refers to its pre-school program as kindergarten. However, people saying this word pronounce it as "garden" not as "garten." One lawmaker wanted the state to change the spelling of the word to reflect American English. In his speech to fellow delegates proposing the change, his only change was going to be from a "t" to a "d." When I read about this I couldn't help but laugh. So we're going to Americanize the word and make it purely English by changing only those two letters? Uh huh. And just what English word is kinder if you please?

Addendum on Friending

You think that taking "friending" out into the regular world can cause verbal confusion? There are other examples that bear thinking about. Yes, some strange tales result when we take the language that applies to our electronic pursuits and use that language in other circumstances. Hat tip to my sister for sending me this one.

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=my+blackberry+is+not+working&aq=f

On Friending

A discussion ensued in class last week about the Facebook-centered verb form "to friend." Most of my students were of the opinion that not only is this "new verb" here to stay but that in a few years time no one will remember a time when it wasn't a verb in common use. They believed the same would be true of "to facebook" as a verb. Then they asked my opinion, and I gave it to them.

Yes, over the centuries we have added new verb forms to the general fund of English words. Most have come to us from the specialized jargon of sub-groups of English--think "to mouse" entering the language from the language of computers. Some we borrow from other languages.

Re "to friend," it may indeed enter general English and remain for a while, as a specialized form of "to befriend," referring only to befriending someone on Facebook. I don't think, however, that it will replace "to befriend" in general usage. For one thing, despite Facebook's desire for it to be otherwise, there are more people who are not on Facebook than are on Facebook. For those not on Facebook, the use of "friend" as a verb will raise eyebrows. For another thing, I believe that it will remain as informal usage and won't be accepted in "official" writing, such as that required in academia. And for another thing, I think this will be a generational divide, with those who grew up without "to friend" as a verb generally not using it in regular parlance.

As to "to Facebook," it's not going to be even as much accepted as "to friend" might be. Generally, trademarked item names that have entered the language and have survived in common usage are for items in a general class of commonly used things. Thus, many people today tell you to go get a kleenex when you sneeze, even if that isn't the brand of tissues you use. The same used to be true for the items that keep food cold in your kitchen--for decades those items were referred to as fridgidaires, no matter whose brand they were. A lot of people, when asked if they would like a cup of coffee, will respond with "Do you have Sanka?" It's not that they are asking for that brand in particular; they are asking if you have decaffeinated coffee available. Could be the time of day, but I'm having trouble thinking of even one product that has come into the language as a verb other than "to hoover" as a substitute for "to vacuum."

My students looked at me with disbelief when I gave them my opinion. And they were totally disbelieving when I told them that 20+ years from now they will find themselves in the awkward position of having to explain to their own kids and grandkids just what Facebook was. It's a fad, and like other fads in the past, it will have its time and pass into oblivion. No one wants to hear that the world they count on being there may only be temporary. I left them with this thought: Do you believe that technology has reached its zenith? Do you believe that all that is possible to be invented has already been invented? Do you believe that computers as presently constituted are the end of the line? Is there something better, something different beyond computers as we understand them today?

Perhaps I should have given them that old saying I grew up with: here today, gone tomorrow. If it could happen to me, it can happen to them.


Just a little note on all that "friending" that goes on and wanting everyone to "friend" you.
Be thou the first true merit to befriend; His praise is lost who stays till all commend.
Alexander Pope

The Foibles of Spell Checking

At the beginning of the term I give a short lesson on why not to rely on the spellcheck function of your word processing program. I emphasize that using that function is not a replacement for word by word personal editing.

So there I was, reading student essays when I had a sudden burst of laughter, spraying coffee in all directions. My hubby, working from home today, wanted to know what was so funny. This is the line that caused the laughter: "Patrick Henry's call 'Give me puberty or give me death!' caused Virginians to be in favor of revolution." I'm pretty sure there were other reasons; in fact, I'm pretty sure this was not a reason at all. What it was was spellcheck at its worst.

Look at a keyboard; where are the "L" and "P" keys located? Yup, one almost over the other. I was fairly certain I knew what had happened to my student. He must have typed a "p" instead of an "l." Obviously spell check came up and the first word on the list of choices is puberty. It's not just my student; many, many people assume that spellcheck has ordered the words it presents with the most correct word at the top of the list. They click on this word almost without reading it.

My hubby couldn't believe this was the case so he went to his keyboard and typed in "piberty." Yes, spell check highlighted the word. And yes, the first word on the list was "puberty." Spell check goes by the first letter in the word you have typed when the word is incorrect and there is more than one choice. So, poverty and piety were also choices for replacement.

Obviously there's going to be another lesson on careful editing. Oh yes, and just try to imagine what kind of comment I could possibly write next to this error. I could have copped out and simply put "word choice" next to puberty. I compromised by putting "spellcheck error" instead.

Poor Mr. Henry--all grown up and still missing puberty.

Doughnuts?

Chanukah may be over but the memories of latkes and doughnuts linger on. One of my foreign students and I were having a discussion about Yiddish this week and some of its perceived foibles. Then he asked me, "What's the Yiddish word for doughnut?" Okay, searched my memory and the best I could come up with was "doughnut" said with a decided Yiddish accent. Later on my mother informed me that she had never seen that item we refer to in the US as a doughnut until she immigrated here. Having no referent for it, she called it by its English name. My student, from Antwerp, remembers hearing the word "pontchkes" referring to small balls of fried dough--neither doughnut nor Israeli sufganiyot. And is sufganiyah truly a Hebrew word or did it, too, get borrowed from elsewhere?

Oh come on, admit it, you are now dying to know just where that word came from and why we call those jelly doughnuts sufganiyot. For a discussion on the origin, please go to http://www.forward.com/articles/14883/

It's all Greek to Me

Who said that being stuck at an overly-long red light could not be an educational experience? Thanks to that red light I learned something I didn't know before, and I thought I'd pass it on.

While waiting at the red light at the exit from the ShopRite plaza I had nothing to do but stare ahead. Across the road from the exit is a large cemetery flanked by a small apartment complex. There is new construction being done in that area, although it's not absolutely clear whether it's the cemetery being expanded or the complex. What got me thinking, however, were the trucks parked on the road in front of the construction area. Emblazoned on the side were the words "Thesaurus Construction Corp."

That was my first blink. Someone named a company for a book of synonyms? As the light turned green I continued thinking about the name. I was pretty sure it was a Latin word but enough of the spelling might also make it a Greek word. And I wondered what meaning that word might have that I didn't know and that was different from the "common knowledge" definition so that someone would choose to name a company using it.

Once home I did some research. First, the company, based in Brooklyn does indeed have an owner with a Greek name. So what might thesaurus mean to someone of Greek extraction? The following is what I found (thanks to Websters Dictionary).

The word "thesaurus" is derived from 16th-century New Latin, in turn from Latin thesaurus, from ancient Greek θησαυρός thesauros, meaning "storehouse" or "treasury" (and thus the medieval rank of thesaurer was a synonym for treasurer). This meaning has been largely supplanted by Roget's usage of the term. [Note: this is how we get our English word "treasure": Middle English tresure, from Old French tresor, from Latin thsaurus, from Greek thsauros.]

Thesaurus (thêsauros). The Greek term for a room in which all kinds of objects, provisions, jewels, etc., were stored; hence a treasury or treasure-house. In ordinary life the underground store chambers, circular vaulted rooms with an opening above, similar to our cellars, were thus named. The same name was given to treasure-houses which each State maintained within the precincts of Panhellenic sanctuaries, as repositories for their offerings to the gods. Such were those at Olympia and Delphi.

The subterranean tombs, shaped like beehives, and of a construction dating from remote Greek antiquity, which have been found in various places, have been wrongly described as “treasure-houses. ” The most celebrated of these are the so-called thesaurus of Atreus at Mycenae (see Cyclopes; Mycenae), and that of Minyas at Orchomenus (see Trophonius). The latter is only partly, the former wholly, preserved. The ground-plan of these structures is circular, and consists of one enclosed room with a domed roof, constructed of horizontal layers of massive stone blocks, projecting one over the other. This circular chamber was used probably for service in honor of the dead. The actual resting-place of the body was a square room adjoining. The large room at Mycenae is fifty feet in diameter, and about the same in height. It consists of thirteen courses, the uppermost of which was only a single stone. It was decorated with hundreds of bronze plates, the holes for the nails being still visible.

For a teacher of English a thesaurus, modern meaning, is certainly a treasure store of language and a place where words may be said to be buried. And now I know why Roget used the term to title his work.

I normally don't consider a trip to the market as an educational experience of the higher kind. Live and learn.

Not the Same People

It's that time in the term when my students have to do a research project--a type of academic trivial pursuit game. A comment made on another blog leads me to mention this now. Absolute care must be taken when presenting material as true that that material is actually true--solid research is key.

Let's see how you do with the piece of information I'm referring to. Francis Scott Key and Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald--are these the names of two separate people or two names for the same person? Go ahead, take a moment.....


Okay, the answer is that the names refer to two different people. Francis Scott Key was the composer of the lyrics of "The Star Spangled Banner." Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald was otherwise known as F. Scott Fitzgerald and is perhaps best remembered as the author of The Great Gatsby. Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald was born in St. Paul, Minnesota, on September 24, 1896, the namesake and second cousin three times removed of the author of the National Anthem.

So what's the problem? F. Scott Fitzgerald was known as a drunkard--the first Francis Scott Key was quite the opposite: a man of solid character, highly religious and not an inbiber of alcohol.

A highly respected Rav apparently made a comment a few decades ago that is remembered by some today. Unclear from the comment on the blog was whether or not the Rav was referring to The Star Spangled Banner or to Hatikvah when he said that it is kefira because its author was a drunkard. If this was said in reference to The Star Spangled Banner I'd like to believe that that Rav, were he living today and were it pointed out to him that he was mixing up two different people, would have retracted his statement. Unfortunately the Rav is not living, but it seems that his words live on after him. If the statement was made referring to The Star Spangled Banner it's time for a correction.

So, lesson of the day: check your sources, and then double check them, or triple check them if need be.

Beware of Whom?

The night before election day I took a moment to encourage my students to vote the next day. I was not shilling for a particular party or a particular candidate. My intent was strictly to make my students see that they, too, were part of the process.

A student asked if I had any particular candidate that I was recommending for office. Another asked who I was going to vote for. No, I do not "recommend" candidates to my students--I'd consider that an abuse of my role as teacher. No, I don't share who I am going to vote for--that's between me and my ballot. One student did, however, ask a question I would answer. He asked, "Do you have any advice to give us in making our own decisions?" My advice was simple: Beware Greeks bearing gifts. And what was a brief reminder to vote carefully turned into a brief lesson in the origin of that phrase, as blank faces stared up at me, no comprehension visible.

The phrase references the mythological wooden horse brought by the Greeks to the city of Troy. It is recorded in Virgil's Aeneid, Book 2, 19 BC:
"Do not trust the horse, Trojans. Whatever it is, I fear the Greeks even when they bring gifts."

The same thought was also recorded by Sophocles (496 - 406 BC), in Ajax:
"Nought from the Greeks towards me hath sped well.So now I find that ancient proverb true,Foes' gifts are no gifts: profit bring they none."

So many of the references to the characters of classical works aren't understood today. The Classics are no longer widely taught or read, so this phrase is now little used, but it does remain with those of us educated in earlier times. [Note:when I was in high school a year of Latin was a requirement.] I guess for most/all of my students Ajax is a household cleanser and Achilles is the name of a tendon in the foot, if they know that much. Mention Dumbledore, however, and faces light up. "That champion of commoners, of Mudbloods and Muggles" I am told. And the certainly respond to Grindelwald, the most dangerous Dark Wizard of all times. I wonder how they would feel if I told them that I knew all about Grindelwald decades before they were born, and certainly decades before the Harry Potter series was written. Grindelwald, a village in Switzerland, and which was considered back when I was young as one of "the" places the wealthy went to for incredible winter skiing, something it is still known for now.

It's not just age that separates the generations. It's what we know and who we know and what we say.

Not Convinced that Reading Skills are Necessary?

In case you think I'm being alarmist about the poor reading/writing/comprehension/vocabulary skills of our students today, let me give you a few examples taken from last years GED exams. Yes, I checked with Snopes--no one is challenging that these did not come from the exam.

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist upon?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Reading? Rest in Peace

This past decade has given us many new devices to make communication between people faster and easier. Walk into any electronics store or browse online and there are dozens, perhaps hundreds, of these time savers for sale. Where once computerized communication devices were the purview of adults, mostly those in the work world, these devices are now seen in use everywhere by everyone. Yes, even three-year-olds know how to turn on a computer or fool around with a cell phone or PDA. And virtually everywhere you will hear people applauding the success of these devices, you will hear them lauding all the benefits of the devices.

Well, let me be one to take the opposite stand: these devices have caused us, as a nation and as a world, to lose something very precious. We are no longer readers. But wait you say, you have to read to use these devices. Well, you have to scan letters, I'll grant you that, but reading? Nope.

Educators from nursery to post-college are all bemoaning the fact that students' reading skills have dropped, and with that drop in reading skills, their writing skills have also deteriorated. Many an employer has pointed a finger at the poor job that schools are doing in educating their students, evidenced by the poor reading, writing and speaking skills of those who apply for jobs and/or who are in the work place. Employers are pointing a finger at the wrong place in attempting to place all the blame on the schools. The blame can be squarely placed on the general society that is involved in a hot and heavy love affair with technology, with communication devices.

How do people develop solid or stellar communication skills? One way is by observing others, listening to how they speak and copying their inflections, vocabulary and speaking style. Yet another way is to be taught the basics of English grammar and syntax, to be taught vocabulary, to be given practice in writing across many different subject areas. But perhaps the best way to become an excellent writer is to be a reader.

Why is reading books an excellent developmental tool for the skill of writing? In reading well-written material from a variety of print sources a person is exposed to the patterns, cadences and usages of standard English. They are exposed to a diverse vocabulary and how that vocabulary is used. There is a patterning that takes place when someone reads, a patterning that can be used when that person writes.

The English that appears in the writings on most of the electronic devices we use for communication is a truncated form of English, more patois or jargon than standard English. The purpose of this jargon is a simple one: give information using the fewest number of words (or letters) possible, reducing the amount of time spent in communicating. Everything connected with these devices is about short and quick.

But not everything that people might have to write in the academic and business worlds is going to be about shortness or quickness. There are still a multitude of situations where in- depth analysis and critical thinking skills are necessary. There are still a multitude of situations where being able to write flowing English, with all its complexities, is required. And to write that more complex English, reading is a key tool.

There is no reason to be a Luddite and decry that all those electronic devices be banished so we can return to a "better" way of doing things. What we do need to do, however, is recognize that those devices are only a few of the ways that we need to communicate with each other, and that the approaches that are useful when using those devices are not correct or useful in other writing situations. And yes, we need to once again stress the reading of books as a necessary tool for an educated person.

Let's be honest here--when an occasion arises to give a gift to a young person (and yes, to an adult as well) is your first thought to head to a bookstore, or is it to head to an electronics store or toy store? As a society we have come to value those electronics more than the printed word as found in books, and therein lies a ticking time bomb. Those who still read, and who reap the benefit of that reading as seen in their writing, are going to be the cream that rises to the top. The rest are going to be literal skim milk.

Like the ubiquitous fast-food meals so many rely on, those "fast-reading" devices aren't going to deliver any "nutritional" benefits to the readers who use them. Keep them in their place, as one type of tool that is available today. But bring back the reading of books for the much more "nutritious" benefits that they can give us, as readers, as writers and as educated communicators.

English? What's That?

A friend, retired from the public school system, has been teaching a while in a chasidishe elementary school. He reported back on a conversation he had with his fifth grade and my husband shared that conversation with me.

Our friend was giving the boys a mussar shmooze on the importance for them of learning at least English, if they gave no importance to history or science. Basically he told them, "You need to be able to read a contract for business reasons, you need to be able to understand what you are signing and what that obligates you to. You need to be able to communicate with various business authorities and you need to be able to not only understand what they say to you but you need to make yourself understood to them."

One of his fifth graders responded: "Far dos vell ich hobben ah veib"--for this I will have a wife. Chasidishe secular education philosophy in a nutshell.

I'm old enough to remember when a large part of my parents' generation was referred to as "greenuh." The newly arrived immigrants from Europe were particularly characterized by their poor skills in English. But here's the thing--that generation struggled and worked hard to attain English language skills, to be able to function as a "regular" member of American society. To be complimented on their English usage was a compliment of the highest degree. A scant 3-4 generations later we've got a new generation of greenuh, born and raised here and less fluent in English than their grandparents and great grandparents were, and it bothers them not at all.

Just what is the frum veldt coming to?

A Post for the Oldies Among Us

Last night I had occasion to speak with one of my oot cousin. He was calling to give the bris information for his new grandson, a bris that will be in NY. We spent a few moments just catching up on what was going on in our lives. Somehow the subject of the younger generations among us came up and yes, we bemoaned about some of what we are seeing.

I mentioned that there was a cultural literacy gap that was widening every day. In class I happened to use the phrase "You're not in Kansas anymore" about a phenomenon a student was describing. There were blank looks on all but one face in the class. Someone even volunteered that that particular student was from Queens, not Kansas. My cousin said that he, too, had used that phrase in a business meeting and only those above a certain age had caught the referent. It got us to wondering about just how many of the cultural referents we grew up with are now unknown to the younger generations. It seems like the different generations are speaking different languages, and meaning sometimes gets muddled. Laughingly my cousin said that there was a good reason for this sometimes disconnect--"It's because we aren't in Kansas anymore!" Yup, and I feel like I've definitely fallen down that rabbit hole.