The Cost of Living in Klal Yisroel--part #3

The previous postings on this topic seem to have leaned very heavily on the women in Klal, although men were mentioned. Let's move to an area that is more of an issue for the men, although the women are also involved.

Perhaps we should call this section "Toys R Us." More specifically, "Technology Toys R Us." And for a moment let's keep out of the kitchen. Someone once quipped: "How do you tell the men from the boys? The cost of their toys." Look around and actually observe what little "tchotchkes" the guys are sporting. Cell phones? Of course, but with text messaging and game playing enabled. And e-mail capable. And with a built in digital camera. Blackberries? For sure. PDA's? Required. Lap top computers? A vital necessity. Home computers? Ditto. High speed Internet connections? Yes. Digital cameras and video cameras? But of course. External computer drives? More than one. Individual CD players? Need you ask? Home CD players? Yes. I-pods? But of course. Play Station III? Naturally. Video players of every type and kind? Yup. Electronic home telephone systems? For sure. Flat screen television screens? Need you ask? Flat screen monitors? Necessary. Printers? Indeed. Yes, women also avail themselves of some of these items, but they do not have the same fascination for women that they do for men. Woman tend to view technology from a purely practical point of view--will it help me to do something faster, better, more efficiently, in a time-saving manner.

And of course, as soon as one of these items is purchased it is already virtually obsolete as the "new and improved" model rolls out the door. And the buying frenzy begins all over again.

And then there are cars. I am convinced that men are born with a "car gene" built in. And the gene only becomes fully operational depending on the size of the car and its name brand.I casually asked the students in my largest class how many were married. 3 out of 22 men. Of the remaining 19 I asked how many of them drove to school or owned a car. 15 out of the 19. I asked the 15 how many drove a van or an SUV. 11 out of the 15. I asked those 11 students if they drove to school alone or if they were part of a car pool. 9 drove alone. Of the 3 married students 2 had SUVs and only one had children. Both who had an SUV drove by themselves to class. So, out of a class of 22, 13 students drove an SUV or van, and 11 of them drove to school by themselves. With the gas for an SUV at well above $3 a gallon, with large tanks to be filled, and with poor mileage per gallon.

Of all the cars available out there, SUVs and vans are the least fuel efficient and cost the most to fill up with gas. They also spew more fumes into the environment. One student challenged me on this by saying that he drove a particular type of Lexus SUV/van which was rated more fuel efficient then the others. Great. Now start at $33,000 plus for the base price of the car. Check out the streets in frum communities and check out the number of vans and SUVs there are. Check out the manufacturers.

Yes, I know. Frum families have more children and need the room because they have to put more children into a car, and there is also car pooling and grocery shopping for a larger family etc. So how does that apply to a single man who owns one? Or to a young couple with no or only one or two children? Or to families where the kids all take school buses to get to school? Or to the myriad families that have more than one car? Just exactly how many times are parents and all their kids actually in one car together? Often enough to justify the initial cost and the cost of upkeep and the higher insurance rates? And please, don't say they are safer because they are bigger--the government statistics show that to be a falsehood. Today's SUVs are not as safe as their smaller car cousins.

The more expensive a car, the more expensive the insurance. Add to this that the insurance rates in New York City are higher than elsewhere. Then add in that males from 18 to 25 are the most expensive drivers to insure--males 25 to 32 is the next most expensive group.

Yes, let's move into the kitchen for a moment. This is an area where women sometimes run amok when it comes to technology. How many people check out the government sites or Consumer Reports before buying appliances? How many are buying the best rated appliance for energy consumption? How many buy what the appliance store is pushing rather than doing the necessary legwork and investigation? Even kitchen remodeling and the purchasing of appliances is a question of style. You think not? Brand names and particular colors are a matter of "what's in." Kitchen remodeling happens a lot more often then is needed simply because the look of the kitchen is "outdated."

About 10 years ago my dishwasher died with a full load locked inside of it. This coincided with an unexpected hospital stay for my husband. I called up "the" appliance store that the frum community--as well as the non-frum--uses and asked the salesperson to recommend to me the best dishwasher to replace the one that had died. I didn't have the leisure to check things out myself. He immediately gave me the brand and model to get, and the next day they came, got the old dishwasher opened, and installed the new one. The new one was a foreign model that "everyone" in Brooklyn was buying and raving about. I can't understand why. For the year and a half that the dishwasher resided in my house it spent more time not working then working, it never did wash the dishes right and it cost plenty for the privilege of giving me trouble. As a labor saving device for a working mother, the dishwasher was a complete dud. When I complained to the salesperson he answered me with "But this dishwasher is so popular!" Gee, how comforting.

When my mother bought her first washer and dryer many years ago they were front loading--that is how all the machines were then. Today, that front loader is a new fashion style being pushed heavily by all the top of the line manufacturers, and a front loader costs way more then a top loader. But hey, the manufacturers needed something "new" to get people to buy.

Okay, I will admit to having technological gizmos and doodads in my house, or at least some of them. My husband also has the technology "gene." But my cell phone is "plain vanilla" because I do not need to play games, nor do I want or need to access my email 24/7 wherever I am. A pencil and paper work just as well as an electronic organizer. And I positively abhor the electronic phone system my husband couldn't resist--in a power failure, of which we had many this summer, the phones don't work. So of course there is a regular old fashioned phone still around for those moments when the darned electronic system is down. Or when the portable has managed to lose itself and no amount of beeping will find it. Then there is the child who had the portable buried inside his pants pocket, which made it into the laundry and was duly washed and dried. I had the cleanest dead phone anywhere.

My kitchen was last remodeled almost 25 years ago except for some appliances that died and had to be replaced and for a new floor. No, it does not have granite countertops--yup, good old fashioned formica. And the style of the cabinets is not what is "in" today. So what? We have lots of company on a steady basis. None of my guests has ever refused to eat what I cook because my kitchen doesn't meet today's style standards. The kitchen still works efficiently and I don't play "keeping up with the Joneses" with my kitchen. And yet I have friends who are on their third and fourth remodel during the same time period. Whatever for?!

Some of the items we buy are actual necessities--many more are not. In this we are not different from everyone else in the greater community. What does set the members of Klal Yisroel apart, however, is that we have expenses others do not: there is a higher cost to being frum. That being the case, how do we justify running after all the technology again and again and again. How do we justify the costly cars and their costly upkeep? How do we justify being label crazy? How do we justify a Play Station for hundreds of dollars, and which is, when all is said and done, nothing but a toy?

And for a couple that is being supported I'll go so far as to say how dare they do this. People used to talk about the "s'char" involved with a kollel young couple; pray tell what "s'char" there is when everything that can be had has to be had and is had?