NOTE: Any reader who gets squeamish at the mention of undergarments or body parts might want to skip this posting.
Has Klal totally and completely lost its mind?! It is hardly a secret (and I've commented on this phenomenon before) that members of the press are not all that objective. Let a scandal erupt, and, short of its actually being a church-based scandal, we will have no idea about the religious affiliation of those involved. Except, of course, if Jews, particularly religious Jews, are part of the scandal. Given that this approach by the press is common knowledge, it behooves us, as members of Klal, to watch our behavior. And of course, let's not forget that we are told to behave ourselves in our own code of laws.
I was standing in line at the supermarket yesterday, and a headline caught my eye on the NY Post. It was a long wait in line so I opened the paper to read the story. There went my day. In a nutshell, a woman was fired from a company that is a purveyor of woman's lingerie and undergarments. Why was she fired? According to the article (and to comments printed in other news outlets), and as seen in the accompanying photos, she was quite buxom, looked "hot," dressed in figure-presenting clothing, and was a distraction, therefore, to the other workers. Her supervisor, a woman, wanted her to, among other things, tape down her busom so it would be less pronounced.
Why am I reporting this? Sigh. The opening lines of the article state that the company the woman worked for is owned by orthodox Jews. That information is repeated more than once in the article. There are also a number of orthodox Jews who work for this company, both men and women. What is also mentioned in the article are descriptions of some of the merchandise that this company sells, and that this merchandise is displayed on mannequins in the workplace. To be blunt, some of the products the company sells are what I would call just plain "prost" or in poor taste.
Then there is this excerpt from the Post article: "A male worker, who refused to give his name, said of Odes’ choice of clothes, 'It’s not appropriate. The women here, they dress nicely but covered up. Most are Orthodox. There are a lot of married men here, and it’s not OK to have a woman dress like that.' When it was pointed out to the man that there is lingerie displayed throughout the workplace, he said, 'It’s what we sell, but it’s not the work environment.'”
There is a rather earthy Yiddish saying that answers this last statement: "Ahz muh handelt mit tinuv, shmekt min fun drek." Translated this means that if you deal business-wise with excrement you are going to smell like manure. The company sells undergarments which are sensual, bawdy, obscene, lust-inducing, raunchy, smutty and suggestive, but that's not part of the work environment?! These garments are on display where the people are working, but that is not part of the work environment?!
The woman who was fired has filed a suit for an EEOC violation This is not just going to be a few moments of talk and then no one will remember it.
There has been a lot of talk about how some men of Klal are not working for a living, but are sitting and learning instead. Given the nature of the business described in the article, perhaps we had better redefine what we mean by working when we tell our men to go out and get a job or start a business. Is this the type of business that men of Klal should be involved in? Is this what we want to the world to see us as?
Frankly, this whole thing disgusts me. Unfortunately, for some in Klal, this is just business as usual. Anything to make a buck. And I couldn't help but wonder if the owners of this business, and those who work there, are also the ones who tsk-tsk when a frum girl walks by wearing a piece of clothing that is not black or doesn't follow exactly the "rules" for what is tsniusdik. So much a case of do as I say, not as I do.
Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/am_two_big_to_fail_fired_gal_9kvJEdrnS4R7tQMtHKYr6M#ixzz1vce7CzQK
Showing posts with label tsnius. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tsnius. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Monday, May 23, 2011
Someone is Paying Attention to Marketing
I'm not telling you anything new when I say that Jewish publications and organizations have gone slightly batty in what they consider appropriate pictures. Where once pictures of women and girls routinely appeared on the pages of the publications, today they are photoshopped out as a matter of tsnius, or so they say. And it's also no secret that this attitude is causing a further breach between the more left and more right wings of frum Jews.
Enter money. Sure, there are some in the most right sectors of the frum world with some money. But given attitudes towards education, training and working in this sector I'd venture to say that there is more money among those in the groups more to the middle and the left of the frum world. The right wing elements aren't stupid--they know where the money is--and they routinely approach those of the middle and left for donations to support the structures of the right. A lot of those so approached are not giving any longer or have greatly reduced what they are giving, not liking what they see happening in the far right.
Well, someone on the right finally figured out that "tsnius" is going to have to take a backseat when money is involved. I received in the mail a full-color 5x12 postcard, printed on both sides, reminding me about the 103rd Anniversary Dinner for one of those truly to the right schools. And yes, my mouth dropped open. I know this school rather well, and what I was seeing on that postcard was not what you would see in the school.
First, one one side there were pictures of girls and on the other side there were pictures of boys. Pictures of girls? Okay, the girls were fairly young--maybe in the 4-7 range, but still. The boys looked a bit older than that. But here is what was truly puzzling--not a single picture showed a student wearing the school uniform, nor were the students pictured wearing what we usually think of as right wing dress. Two of the girls were--gasp!--wearing articles made out of denim. The outfits were in a variety of real colors. Of the six boys pictured only one was wearing a white shirt--the others were wearing colorful plaid shirts, one wearing an obvious hoodie.
Yup, I'm truly suspicious as to why this postcard was sent out. Further, I wonder if everyone got the same postcard or if this postcard was mailed only to those not in the yeshiva's "family." The whole presentation reminded me of the type of literature you still might get from a kiruv organization, showing children who were being brought back into the fold but not yet right wingers.
As I said, I know just what position this particular yeshiva holds in the frum world, and it isn't anything like what is pictured on that postcard. But for someone who wouldn't know, the postcard makes the school look like a middle of the road place, someplace the middle of the roaders might want to give some money, or even those way to the left.
Amazing--when it comes to money then hyper tsnius takes a seat so far back on the bus it isn't even a passenger.
Enter money. Sure, there are some in the most right sectors of the frum world with some money. But given attitudes towards education, training and working in this sector I'd venture to say that there is more money among those in the groups more to the middle and the left of the frum world. The right wing elements aren't stupid--they know where the money is--and they routinely approach those of the middle and left for donations to support the structures of the right. A lot of those so approached are not giving any longer or have greatly reduced what they are giving, not liking what they see happening in the far right.
Well, someone on the right finally figured out that "tsnius" is going to have to take a backseat when money is involved. I received in the mail a full-color 5x12 postcard, printed on both sides, reminding me about the 103rd Anniversary Dinner for one of those truly to the right schools. And yes, my mouth dropped open. I know this school rather well, and what I was seeing on that postcard was not what you would see in the school.
First, one one side there were pictures of girls and on the other side there were pictures of boys. Pictures of girls? Okay, the girls were fairly young--maybe in the 4-7 range, but still. The boys looked a bit older than that. But here is what was truly puzzling--not a single picture showed a student wearing the school uniform, nor were the students pictured wearing what we usually think of as right wing dress. Two of the girls were--gasp!--wearing articles made out of denim. The outfits were in a variety of real colors. Of the six boys pictured only one was wearing a white shirt--the others were wearing colorful plaid shirts, one wearing an obvious hoodie.
Yup, I'm truly suspicious as to why this postcard was sent out. Further, I wonder if everyone got the same postcard or if this postcard was mailed only to those not in the yeshiva's "family." The whole presentation reminded me of the type of literature you still might get from a kiruv organization, showing children who were being brought back into the fold but not yet right wingers.
As I said, I know just what position this particular yeshiva holds in the frum world, and it isn't anything like what is pictured on that postcard. But for someone who wouldn't know, the postcard makes the school look like a middle of the road place, someplace the middle of the roaders might want to give some money, or even those way to the left.
Amazing--when it comes to money then hyper tsnius takes a seat so far back on the bus it isn't even a passenger.
Friday, June 25, 2010
In the Swim of Things
Thanks to my offspring for sending me the following link. http://www.aquamodesta.net/
Someone has come up with a line of "super modest" (you decide after you view them) bathing suits for frum women, including pregnant women. You know, bathing suits with 3/4 sleeves, long skirts etc.. I won't mention the uber bright colors on some of those suits, or the form fitting material. I won't mention how those suits, being so completely different from other bathing suits out there, are going to draw the eye of everyone in the vicinity. I won't talk about how everyone in the vicinity is going to be talking about the wearer. I will mention that the designer's intent, as she states it on her site, is that frum women can now go to a beach, lake, pool, or water park and enjoy the water while being tsniusdikly dressed. We are talking public beaches here, open to everyone. So Rochel is going to be wearing her tsnius bathing suit and everyone else she sees will be wearing just what?! Last I noticed those for whom this type of bathing suit would appeal aren't the type to be on a public beach or in a mixed swimming pool or dipping into a lake or using the swim facilities at a water park.
Oh yes, these bathing suits are also available for children. Perhaps one of my favorites is the suit made to look like denim. This is a denim-look bathing suit for people who won't wear denim skirts because they aren't "frum" enough? Yup, Klal has it all--we go from the sublime to the ridiculous in the blink of an eye.
Note: If you want to see the circle turning on bathing suit styles for women, go to http://www.victoriana.com/library/Beach/FashionableBathingSuits.htm
Someone has come up with a line of "super modest" (you decide after you view them) bathing suits for frum women, including pregnant women. You know, bathing suits with 3/4 sleeves, long skirts etc.. I won't mention the uber bright colors on some of those suits, or the form fitting material. I won't mention how those suits, being so completely different from other bathing suits out there, are going to draw the eye of everyone in the vicinity. I won't talk about how everyone in the vicinity is going to be talking about the wearer. I will mention that the designer's intent, as she states it on her site, is that frum women can now go to a beach, lake, pool, or water park and enjoy the water while being tsniusdikly dressed. We are talking public beaches here, open to everyone. So Rochel is going to be wearing her tsnius bathing suit and everyone else she sees will be wearing just what?! Last I noticed those for whom this type of bathing suit would appeal aren't the type to be on a public beach or in a mixed swimming pool or dipping into a lake or using the swim facilities at a water park.
Oh yes, these bathing suits are also available for children. Perhaps one of my favorites is the suit made to look like denim. This is a denim-look bathing suit for people who won't wear denim skirts because they aren't "frum" enough? Yup, Klal has it all--we go from the sublime to the ridiculous in the blink of an eye.
Note: If you want to see the circle turning on bathing suit styles for women, go to http://www.victoriana.com/library/Beach/FashionableBathingSuits.htm
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Not My Type
Let's dispel a myth here that is pervasive in Klal: physical attributes don't matter when you are looking for a spouse. Scratch most of Klal's advisers and they will give you the public party line: it's what is inside that we should all be looking for, not what is on the outside. This type of thinking may well be behind the extremes of tsnius that are gone to, particularly as applied to women. Put everyone into the same exact black outfit, make sure that outfit shows nothing of the body, wear the same shoes, wear the same hair style, even wear the same (or don't wear) hair ornaments. Put the boys into the same black suit, wearing the same black hat, sporting the identically styled beard. The message that is being trumpeted is quite clear: looks don't matter. Yeah, right.
Last time I checked, members of the frum community are still what is considered as human beings. Human beings have eyes. Eyes can see. And the evidence seen with those eyes still has effect in the process of choosing a mate, no matter how much "they" would wish it wasn't so.
Let me try this a different way. So far no rabbanim have banned food decorating or presentation. Why? I can hand someone an opened can of undrained tuna or I can dump a can of tuna on a plate and serve it or I can mix it up into a tuna salad and serve it or I can arrange that tuna salad on a plate, add a few shavings of carrot, a slice of tomato and a rosette or two made from radishes and serve it. I can serve that tuna on a flimsy white paper plate or on a clear plastic plate or on a vintage Rosenthal china plate. I can put those plates on the plain kitchen counter, or serve them at a table covered in an orange plastic tablecloth or serve them on an embroidered Belgian lace tablecloth. I can add a plastic bucket holding a few daisies to the table, or a glass holding a few chrysanthemums or a crystal vase holding an array of roses. No matter what I do in presenting a meal it doesn't obviate the fact that tuna fish is being served. And no one is going to be able to claim that the meal doesn't consist of tuna fish no matter how many and what type of accouterments are used. However, I believe that most people are going to be affected by the presentation of that tuna fish. Some may prefer a simpler, uncluttered presentation. Some may prefer a presentation with a bit of embellishment. Some may prefer an elaborate presentation. We eat first with our eyes, and if something doesn't appeal to us visually we aren't going to touch it.
And then there is this: for some people it won't matter how you dress up the plate or table because they are not going to eat tuna fish, full stop. You can tout the health benefits of that tuna until your voice is hoarse. You can rhapsodize about Omega 3 fish oil all you want. No matter how you try to intellectualize your approach the end result will be the same: no tuna eaten.
As long as vision is part of being a human being you are going to have personal preferences as to what is seen. One person's handsome is going to be another person's bleccchh. Height, weight, hair color (or absence or presence), eye color, clothing choice all effect the choices we make about the people we date and the people we eventually marry. We all have our own personal definitions of what constitutes handsome or beautiful or pretty, come to based on a lot of things unique to ourselves. My family is mostly light haired, light eyed and tall. I grew up loving my family. I thought that they were all gorgeous, or at least that's where I developed my definition of what gorgeous is. No, I didn't tell my friends while I was dating that I was looking only for a tall, light-haired, light-eyed boy. But yes, my "ideal" did look that way. And quite strangely enough (or not so strangely), my hubby is ultra tall, blond and blue eyed.
No, a marriage should NOT be based only on looks, nor will "good" looks keep a marriage going strong all on their own. But anyone who thinks that looks don't play a role in getting to the point of marriage is being naive. You are NOT going to be able to legislate out looks as part of the dating process. You might, just might, be able to expand someone's preferences in that area, but you are never going to be able to remove the physical altogether, at least not as long as humans have eyes. And I don't see that changing any time soon.
Last time I checked, members of the frum community are still what is considered as human beings. Human beings have eyes. Eyes can see. And the evidence seen with those eyes still has effect in the process of choosing a mate, no matter how much "they" would wish it wasn't so.
Let me try this a different way. So far no rabbanim have banned food decorating or presentation. Why? I can hand someone an opened can of undrained tuna or I can dump a can of tuna on a plate and serve it or I can mix it up into a tuna salad and serve it or I can arrange that tuna salad on a plate, add a few shavings of carrot, a slice of tomato and a rosette or two made from radishes and serve it. I can serve that tuna on a flimsy white paper plate or on a clear plastic plate or on a vintage Rosenthal china plate. I can put those plates on the plain kitchen counter, or serve them at a table covered in an orange plastic tablecloth or serve them on an embroidered Belgian lace tablecloth. I can add a plastic bucket holding a few daisies to the table, or a glass holding a few chrysanthemums or a crystal vase holding an array of roses. No matter what I do in presenting a meal it doesn't obviate the fact that tuna fish is being served. And no one is going to be able to claim that the meal doesn't consist of tuna fish no matter how many and what type of accouterments are used. However, I believe that most people are going to be affected by the presentation of that tuna fish. Some may prefer a simpler, uncluttered presentation. Some may prefer a presentation with a bit of embellishment. Some may prefer an elaborate presentation. We eat first with our eyes, and if something doesn't appeal to us visually we aren't going to touch it.
And then there is this: for some people it won't matter how you dress up the plate or table because they are not going to eat tuna fish, full stop. You can tout the health benefits of that tuna until your voice is hoarse. You can rhapsodize about Omega 3 fish oil all you want. No matter how you try to intellectualize your approach the end result will be the same: no tuna eaten.
As long as vision is part of being a human being you are going to have personal preferences as to what is seen. One person's handsome is going to be another person's bleccchh. Height, weight, hair color (or absence or presence), eye color, clothing choice all effect the choices we make about the people we date and the people we eventually marry. We all have our own personal definitions of what constitutes handsome or beautiful or pretty, come to based on a lot of things unique to ourselves. My family is mostly light haired, light eyed and tall. I grew up loving my family. I thought that they were all gorgeous, or at least that's where I developed my definition of what gorgeous is. No, I didn't tell my friends while I was dating that I was looking only for a tall, light-haired, light-eyed boy. But yes, my "ideal" did look that way. And quite strangely enough (or not so strangely), my hubby is ultra tall, blond and blue eyed.
No, a marriage should NOT be based only on looks, nor will "good" looks keep a marriage going strong all on their own. But anyone who thinks that looks don't play a role in getting to the point of marriage is being naive. You are NOT going to be able to legislate out looks as part of the dating process. You might, just might, be able to expand someone's preferences in that area, but you are never going to be able to remove the physical altogether, at least not as long as humans have eyes. And I don't see that changing any time soon.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Color Me Mad
God, the ultimate Creator, gave to mankind an incredible world. Variety of things in the world? Innumerable. And the colors He used? Magnificent, vibrant offerings to gladden the heart of mankind. And how do we return the favor? By being "color blind."
I am just so sick and tired of the color blahs that the frum community, or at least part of it, have decided are tsniusdik. Is anyone really trying to tell us that certain colors and those colors alone are tsniusdik? Based on what? Are we really accusing God of having created untsniusdik colors?
It is the custom in both my husband's and my family going way back that the women wear robes at least for Friday night. Now, I am not talking about terrycloth here but what has been called hostess robes. When the kids asked me what I would want as a Chanukah present I said I'd love a new Shabbos robe. Grrrrrrr. My daughter went shopping when one of the manufacturers was holding a sale in her neighborhood specifically for Chanukah. And every single one of those robes, every single one, was black!
Black robes, black dresses, black suits, black skirts, black sweaters, black everything! Certainly enough to put me in a black mood! Go ahead, look all around the outside world and tell me where you find a black flower or even a black bush. There is no black in a rainbow. Even blackberries are not really black but a deep purplish blue. By comparison to all the other colors and shades in the world, black is the least visible, the least used. Want to see black in nature? Look for mold, not exactly something I want to be associated with.
I've been shopping around for material, and no, not in the Brooklyn fabric stores. That robe will get sewn up because I, for one, am refusing to blacken my life any more. I found some beautiful velvets and velours in ruby and sapphire and emerald and topaz. The mood I'm in now, I just may buy all the colors and make myself up a beautiful bouquet of robes to wear. Womankind is no less a beautiful flower than all the other blossoms God created, and we deserve to be decked in the abundance of colors God made available to us.
A color can be untsniusdik? For some, tsnius is in the mind of the beholder, and I'm no longer going to be pandering to some people's sick mental wanderings. If I wear blue or yellow or gold or ruby or emerald I'm going to be responsible for some man's immodest/immoral thoughts? Please, get a grip. Tsnius is a way of behaving, not a color. And when I stand in front of my lachter on Friday night, preparing to usher in the Shabbos and give thanks to Hashem for the wondrous gift of the world he gave to us and for His gift of the Shabbos I'm not going to insult Him by wearing a color He didn't favor much when creating the world.
I am just so sick and tired of the color blahs that the frum community, or at least part of it, have decided are tsniusdik. Is anyone really trying to tell us that certain colors and those colors alone are tsniusdik? Based on what? Are we really accusing God of having created untsniusdik colors?
It is the custom in both my husband's and my family going way back that the women wear robes at least for Friday night. Now, I am not talking about terrycloth here but what has been called hostess robes. When the kids asked me what I would want as a Chanukah present I said I'd love a new Shabbos robe. Grrrrrrr. My daughter went shopping when one of the manufacturers was holding a sale in her neighborhood specifically for Chanukah. And every single one of those robes, every single one, was black!
Black robes, black dresses, black suits, black skirts, black sweaters, black everything! Certainly enough to put me in a black mood! Go ahead, look all around the outside world and tell me where you find a black flower or even a black bush. There is no black in a rainbow. Even blackberries are not really black but a deep purplish blue. By comparison to all the other colors and shades in the world, black is the least visible, the least used. Want to see black in nature? Look for mold, not exactly something I want to be associated with.
I've been shopping around for material, and no, not in the Brooklyn fabric stores. That robe will get sewn up because I, for one, am refusing to blacken my life any more. I found some beautiful velvets and velours in ruby and sapphire and emerald and topaz. The mood I'm in now, I just may buy all the colors and make myself up a beautiful bouquet of robes to wear. Womankind is no less a beautiful flower than all the other blossoms God created, and we deserve to be decked in the abundance of colors God made available to us.
A color can be untsniusdik? For some, tsnius is in the mind of the beholder, and I'm no longer going to be pandering to some people's sick mental wanderings. If I wear blue or yellow or gold or ruby or emerald I'm going to be responsible for some man's immodest/immoral thoughts? Please, get a grip. Tsnius is a way of behaving, not a color. And when I stand in front of my lachter on Friday night, preparing to usher in the Shabbos and give thanks to Hashem for the wondrous gift of the world he gave to us and for His gift of the Shabbos I'm not going to insult Him by wearing a color He didn't favor much when creating the world.
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