Money is Funny--a small Observation

The MTA requested a fare hike last week for the Verrazano Bridge, among other things. Of course Staten Island residents are all up in arms. But the request reminded me of something I'd like to share.

Years back a friend called and asked if we had any interest in her redding a shidduch with a particular boy from Brooklyn. We said yes. Later she called back and said that the boy turned down the shidduch. The reason? At that time the bridge cost both coming and going and it was "too much money" and besides, it was a hassle to have to drive to Staten Island.

When my husband and I got engaged he volunteered that I was only the second girl he had dated from the Rockaways--he was from Borough Park--because Far Rockaway was a two-fare subway zone and if you were driving you had to pay for the Marine Parkway Bridge. It cost too much and was too much of a hassle to drive to Far Rockaway.

There are times that a guy and gal will arrange to meet in the City--this saves time if they are both coming from Manhattan to the date and certainly saves time if they are coming from two different areas of the city. And it certainly saves the guy money. And saves him the hassle of having to pick up the girl. The girl's accepting this is a gracious concession on her part. And if the guy has any manners he makes sure to get her to her express bus stop or to the correct subway station. Oh joy. I asked my friends if their daughters had ever had dates like this and all answered in the affirmative. I then asked if a guy had ever offered to pay the fare home for his date. The answer: not once. So I called an ex-student living in my neighborhood and asked him why. He gave two answers. First, he just plain never thought about it. Second, if girls are all into the equality thing and are out working then why shouldn't they too bear part of the expenses of dating? After all, getting married was also to their benefit.

Given all the "narishkeit" that people spend money on you sort of have to wonder about someone's complaining about the cost of a bridge or the cost of a train or bus home for the girl. Prior to and during baseball's World Series some of my students had tickets for games at Yankee Stadium. Clearly not a hassle to get to the Bronx, and no sum too large for the pleasure.

A shidduch is not something you can order on the Internet and have overnight delivered. There is some effort that needs to be involved. And yes, some expenditures as well.

Most of the people who come to this blog are female, and aren't the ones who have to pay in time and money, the exception being that solo ride home from the city. However, if you have brothers or cousins and this is their attitude, perhaps you might point out to them that they are acting like the back end of a horse when they have this attitude. If dating is such a hassle and so expensive, let them ask the first girl they meet to marry them and end the process.

Yup, people are funny about money--and it is no laughing matter.