I'm Still Laughing

It's taken me two days to stop laughing about a comment someone sent me which I did not post. The sender was female and she really, really was trying to be nice to me. She had obviously read all or most of my postings. One of her comments is as follows: "I can see from what you write about like the gifts for weddings and the flowers and the clothes and cars that it hurts you that you cannot afford these things. I am sorry that you are hurting this way. Is it really nice tho to yell at people who do have the money for these things to make yourself feel better?"

I'm not yelling at anyone, wealthy or otherwise. My admonishments regarding spendthrifts are precisely that: admonishments. Baruch Hashem I am not in a situation where I require charity. My husband and I both work, we have a house with no mortgage and cars that are completely paid for. We carry no credit card debt from month to month and have never bounced a check for insufficient funds. We paid full yeshiva tuition for each of our children. We paid for their college tuitions as well. We also helped out with graduate school tuition. When a "meshulach" comes to our door he does not go away empty handed. We are generous with tzedaka monetarily as well as with our time and efforts. As the saying goes, we aren't "hurting" for money.

I have everything that I need and can afford what I "want" as well. I have tailored my wants in a different direction then what I see in many frum communities. Given shopping for the "right" clothes or buying books, books win every time. We have a library of over 8000 volumes, and in the process of buying books and seforim we have created children who are readers and thinkers, not compulsive shoppers. Yup, I have some "luxuries" that I indulge in--it's the Hungarian in me. I set a table with real bone china and real silver and crystal. Please note: I do not change my china every year or two to keep up with the new fashions in table settings. Some of my china sets were gifts for special occasions (yes sets, the joys of keeping a strictly kosher home, with milchig, fleishig and pareve, everyday and Shabbos, and then there is Pesach) and some I purchased myself.

Even rich people have to employ common sense. Moreover, "Keeping up with the Joneses" is a terrible byproduct of lavish spending. When the contributions for the Mishkan were being made, the majority of the tribal leaders sat back and waited for others to make donations, so as not to be outdone. Have we not learned anything from our own history?