Anonymity in a Non-anonymous World

Blogs are an interesting phenomenon. They are "out there" in public places and accessible to just about anyone, and yet they are looked at as private little nooks. Most blog owners use pseudonyms to protect their privacy. Their thoughts may be going public but their names will not. They assume that their real identities are thus protected.

A legal suit, brought against the owner of the orthomom blog, wanted the courts to rule that the blog owner's name could be given out by the service provider. Someone was mad as all blazes about something that had been said about her on the blog and wanted a name to go with the blog. The courts said no way. The right to privacy still lives!

And yet, within the general frum world a lot of people know who the blog owners are without having to resort to legal means. You start a blog and you want readers, so you tell a couple of friends to come to your blog. They know who you are. Then they tell a few friends to go to their first friend's blog, and maybe they use your real name and maybe they don't. Possibly, by the time you get to the friends of friends of friends of friends no one knows who is writing the blog, and quite possibly doesn't care either.

You get personal on your own blog, and yes, in commenting on others' blogs as well. Small life details get thrown out. You were at a wedding last night in Williamsburg. You work in a particular field. You go to/went to a particular college. You live in a particular community. Even ages are revealed. Over time a picture of the blog writer begins emerging. (Oh and yes, some blogs even have a picture of the blog owner on them. Don't know why they bother with a pseudonym if they do that.) Hobbies and habits become clear. In short, the privacy on a blog is not all that private.

Some people use pseudonyms because they don't want it known that they have a blog, know what a blog is, or know what the Internet is because, chas v'shalom, it might hurt for a shidduch. The privacy of a blog allows them the best of both worlds. For some it is a respite from a "real world" that can get kind of oppressive in its rules and regulations. For some it is a chance to connect with those from different communities and offering different viewpoints then their own. Their "real" world would restrict such connections or ban them altogether. On a blog male and female voices mingle in commenting, a mingling that is not available to some of those who have a blog or visit blogs. Those in the frum world who have blogs or visit blogs do not always "toe the party line" in their comments. In fact, they vent their frustrations about that very "party line."

Is it healthy to have this kind of "split personality"? Yes and no. Getting rid of pent up frustration can avoid blow ups in the real world that might have very far reaching consequences. On the other hand, allowing such frustration to be present to begin with cannot be very healthy. If the world you are in is driving you crazy then why aren't you doing something to alter that reality? I guess it is a question of degree. Everyone at some point needs to vent. It is those whose only place to vent is a blog that I worry about. Nameless, voiceless online friends, as much as they may care, are not a substitute for flesh and blood friends in the "real" world. They should be considered an "addition to" rather than a "substitute for."

Plenty of visitors to blogs will not even go to the point of choosing a pseudonym. They certainly won't have a blog of their own or a profile available. They want what they see as the absolute "safety" of being "anonymous." A lot of people get upset at commenters who never move beyond "anonymous." And if they call themselves "smileyface" does that make them any more real? I've come to the point where I don't care either way: what you call yourself here has to meet with your approval, not mine.

I got a smile in school the other day when someone was talking about privacy issues on the Internet and on blogs. I'm fairly sure that he knows just who I am, pseudonym or not. That's okay. I'm also pretty sure I know which persona he has adopted in the blog world. The key, however, is that he doesn't tell me what he knows and I don't tell him what I know, and they all lived happily anonymously ever after.