Who should pay for singles events?
A number of shules and organizations hold singles events. These are meant to bring together singles so they can meet and so that shidduchim can be made. A lot of care goes into some of these events. But one thing common to all of them is that they charge the singles for attending.

Some of the charges are nominal; some of the charges are phenomenal. Granted, if an organization is holding a singles event in a hotel attendees should be paying for their hotel rooms. But what about events that are held in shules?

One event that I got notification about was for a Motzoai Shabbos. There would be several rounds of "speed dating," opportunities for conversation and refreshments. The charge? $20 per person.(And a fairly low charge given other shule-based singles events) Now I am not a brilliant mathematician, but even I can do this math. Let us say that 100 singles showed up at this event. The organizers would have taken in $2000 dollars. Where is this money going? "There are refreshments you know." Okay. How much did they cost? Even if they were simple refreshments such as pizza, a pie is around $15.00, and one person does not eat a whole pie. Add in soda and paper goods and you still don't get to the bottom line figure. Let us even assume that refreshments cost from $1000 to $1500 for the evening. What about the rest of the money?

The shule charges $300-$500 for renting the hall. Why? Why should a shule not have the responsibility for ensuring that the singles of Klal Yisroel have a place to meet for the purpose of shidduch making? Surely it must be important that Klal Yisroel continue?

My shule sends out every year a listing of the funds taken in and the funds disbursed by the shule. It lists all the basic amenities that must be paid for, such as insurance, electricity, maintainance etc. It also covers youth activities, but youth activities end when a person is looking to get married. What I finally noticed this year is that there is no category covering helping singles get married.

There is an appeal virtually every Shabbos in our shule. There has never been an appeal for a shidduch organization or for the purposes of helping singles meet. Why?

If there are shules out there who do donate their halls for single events, then kudos to them. But what about the other shules? Yes, there are some shules who do not "approve" of singles meeting in groups, fodder for a different posting. But some of these same shules seem to have no trouble renting out their halls at a charge to these singles groups. It is only if they are asked to donate the hall that hashkafa comes into play.

One solution is for all of us to become "nudges," making our shules know that it is all of our responsibilities to ensure that our singles get married, and that includes the shule.

Yes, dating costs money. But it seems to me that there are some expenses that should not have to be borne by the singles, that should be a responsibility of all of Klal Yisroel. There is a truism that when people spend money on something they tend to be more involved in that thing. Singles already spend money on dating. When the "dating" venue is a shule, the shule and its members ought to be picking up the tab. Perhaps if they pay they might become more interested in helping the singles.