What is a date--defining terms

You would think that everyone would have a pretty good idea of what the word "date" means. You would think so, but apparently you and I are wrong.

Start with the simplest definition: a date is when a boy and a girl--a man and a woman--go out. Right from the beginning we have a problem with this definition. What is going out? Well, that is where a young man takes a girl somewhere. You mean they never stay "in"? Okay so sometimes a date is in the house and sometimes it is not.

And what do you mean by a boy and girl? Any boy and any girl? No, only those boys and girls who are deemed the correct ones to be going out on the date. Who decides what "correct" means? Do you have a lifetime to spare? It would take that long to define "correct."

And what do you mean he "takes her somewhere"? Does somewhere mean anywhere? Is everywhere appropriate? Okay, the young man takes her to somewhere appropriate. Oh yeah, who has decided what is appropriate? That depends on the philosophy of all kinds of people with an interest in this date.

And what is done on this date? Are you telling me they just go someplace and do nothing? Okay, so what is done depends on a whole lot of other things, like the state of the boy's wallet, the weather, whether it is a first date, a third date, a fifth date.

Okay, so two strangers are going out or in on this date? Sigh. That depends on how good a detective the shadchanim involved are, the parents involved are, the "datees" involved are. Some people on a date really are strangers and others are people who know "everything" about each other but just have never met yet.

And hey, just how long is this going out or in? Well, that depends on your personal philosophy, the philosophy of an parents involved, the philosophy of an rebbes involved and on whether it is the first time, the third time, the seventh time or the last time. So, why would someone go out or in on this date? (Now there is a question that many a young man or woman has asked themselves!) That depends. Are we talking about a general philosophy? Are we talking about the first date? The third date? The fifth date?

I was not a math major in college and the statistics and calculations involved in defining a simple thing like "date" make my head spin. Klal has gone overboard in trying to regulate the unregulateable. When defining dating requires an act of Congress we have gone too far. Anyone on a date who has to remember all the rules and regulations, which change from date to date, is not really having that date--they are too busy reading the rulebook to participate fully.

Strange, nowhere in the definition of dating does anyone ever mention "having an enjoyable time." Hey, dating is business--what does enjoying yourself have to do with it? And please, don't ask me whose "business" dating is.