The Cost of Living in Klal Yisroel--part #2

Part #1 I believe showed that keeping a kosher house is expensive--more expensive then for those who are not kosher. But there is lots more to the expenses of living then food alone.

"I wear clothes, therefore I am" seems to be a lot of Klal's motto today. And whose clothes? Pick your label. I'll admit to a bias here: I can see absolutely no reason for spending more if I can spend less. And I care not a whit about whose label is in the clothes I buy. Yes, I like "pretty" things, but part of the "prettiness" of any outfit is the reasonableness of the price of that outfit. And I truly don't care if my clothes are this season's or last season's. And yes, I know I am out of step with a lot of people.

New York City is in close proximity to numerous outlet malls and discount stores. The large malls and the major retailers do surprisingly produce some real bargains on occasion. You have to be willing to wait for the good sales and to shop smart. Yes, there is convenience in shopping locally and there is also the idea of supporting Jewish-owned stores, but at what cost?

One of my daughters won a shopping package at one of the tzedaka auctions. It was to a very well known store in Borough Park. The amount of the package seemed to be obscenely large, until she actually had to use the package to buy something. A denim skirt for summer wear was "bargain" priced at $135.00. A "simple" Shabbos afternoon skirt was selling for $168.00. Suits were in the $350 plus range. In short, a $1000.00 shopping package bought only seven items, and four trips to find them on sale.

Yes, there are other stores catering to a frum crowd whose prices are less, but not by much. These stores get their customers because what they sell is tsniusdik, and very much on the cutting edge of fashion. The rationale seems to be "why should frum girls have to look different from all the other women out there?" Do we really need to ask that question?

As mentioned above, the "frummy" stores are not the only ones that sell clothes that are tsniusdik. Sure, the malls do not have the same selection, but the clothes are there. Can anyone explain to me why Brendas should be more "choshuv" then JC Penneys? Then Sears? Then Macys on sale?

A while back I needed a suit suitable for a Bar Mitzvah seudah. I shopped around and found one I liked. I wasn't looking for it, but the suit did have a "label." It also had a greatly reduced sale tag. As luck would have it, at the seudah another woman arrived wearing the exact same suit but in a different color combination. Naturally she asked me where I had purchased it, as the store in Brooklyn where she had purchased hers said that the suit was "exclusive" to Brooklyn and some "upper class" stores in Manhattan. I told her the truth--a discount store based here in Staten Island. She was in shock. She was more in shock when I told her the price. She immediately checked the label in the jacket, and yes, my suit was "legitimate." She paid almost 4 times what I paid--and both of our suits were "on sale."

Let's admit that shopping in the stores in the frum areas has nothing to do with tsnius and everything to do with fashion and style. And when a girl gets married, and is the sole support of her new family or is being supported by someone else, is she going to forgo the style and fashion? And is the boy, who also has been accustomed to "name brand" suits, shirts, ties and hats going to forgo that because he can't afford it?

Years ago the New York Times did a huge two page spread on cutting edge fashion. It was liberally illustrated with what designers and labeled clothing those in the know were wearing. Know where they got the pictures to illustrate the articles? They sent a photographer to Brooklyn when people were going to Tashlich and snapped photos of the frum women.

Ever had to shop for a clothing baby present in the frum areas? Or for an outfit for a toddler or three year old? The prices are obscene. And everything is the "top of the line" as far as the designers name goes. And I really love the outfits that are "dry clean only." Is there a rational adult anywhere who can honestly state that a newborn cares which labeled outfit they spit up on?

And let's not leave the men out of this discussion. Priced a Borsolino lately? Weekday hats, Shabbos hats, weekday suits, Shabbos suits, weekday shirts, Shabbos shirts, casual wear, "formal" wear.

A young man I knew had a great solution to his budget dilemma. He couldn't afford all the "right" clothes. He shopped in a much cheaper store, removed the labels from the cheaper clothes he purchased and took the labels from a more expensive suit and hat he had once owned and placed those labels in the new clothing. Anyone surreptitiously checking his clothing would find him wearing the "right" clothes. People see what they want to see.

An acquaintance who does marriage counseling for the frum community told me that spending habits show up a lot in the couples he sees. Clothing is often brought up. The boys who insist on the girls who look "really put together" aren't as enthusiastic when they have to pay for that look. And the girls see no reason why they should not wear what everyone else is wearing. And when there is simply no money to pay for the clothes a couple has been accustomed to wearing? Shalom Bais issues pop up.

So, let's now add a larger then the general public allowance for clothing and accessories to the budget for that couple who is going to be supported by someone else. And then let's apply that amount to a family of six. You want a figure for the clothing? Take a look at absolutely everything you purchased from last Rosh Hashana to this Rosh Hashana. Look at everyday clothes and special occasion clothing. Don't forget the staples like underwear and stockings and shoes and sleepwear and robes and purses and wallets and headbands and hats and ties. Then add in the extras that a married woman will "need" like hair coverings of all types. Now add up the prices. Then multiply by six. Scary isn't it? Now imagine that you are either being supported or doing the supporting and look at that figure. More than scary.

As I started out by saying, clothes are just not all that important to me, and I recognize that they have more importance to other people. Fine. But what, if anything, are people willing to give up if clothes are that important? A budget only goes so far.