Thursday, September 4, 2008

We Mourn the Passing of...

This was passed on to me via email and was too good not to share with a wider audience.

An Obituary printed in the London Times

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn't always fair;
and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies:don't spend more than you can earn, and reliable other strategies: adults, not children, are in charge.

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boycharged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental>consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents,
Truth and Trust,
his wife, Discretion,
his daughter, Responsibility,
his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.


G said...

Oldie but goodie

Lion of Zion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lion of Zion said...

"to get parental consent to administer . . . an Aspirin to a student"

how is this an absence of common sense? to the contrary, aspirin is contraindicated in children. they shouldn't administer aspirin even with parental consent.

regarding medication in general: the way kids are medicated today (i refer to all reasons and this is not statement about ADHD) and the propensity for people to sue for any reason, i know i wouldn't want to administer medication to a kid if i were a teacher.

now if you ask me what i consider lack of common sense, i would consider the fact that many schools don't have school nurses to administer medication and look after the health of the kids. the school nurse could be funded, in part, by the $10/head fee for the lice checker. when i went to school this was a task that the nurse performed, and my parents didn't pay extra for it.

שבת שלום

ProfK said...

Your parents paid $10 a head to check for lice? We had a small group of volunteer mothers who did this for nothing. It really isn't difficult to get the training to do this. I was one of those volunteers for two years, but I will admit it was just a little offputting to have the kids see me coming and say "Oh look, the lice lady!"

Shabbat Shalom.

Lion of Zion said...

no. they didn't pay. the school nurse checked.

the school my son is in now charges $10 (and a doctor's note is not accepted).

i was actually thinking of volunteering the services of my brother (a PA)