Tuesday, April 15, 2008

There are 51 Other Weeks You Know

Right about now women are in the home stretch heading for Pesach. Even the procrastinators have hit the point where they must pick up their feet and start running. Women are exhibiting all kinds of interesting syndromes. Many walk around talking to themselves. A few keep pads and pencils by their beds so that when they wake up in a cold sweat, having just remembered what they forgot to do/buy, they can jot it down. Quite a few are so full of caffeine that they appear to be permanently revved up. And quite a few of us I would imagine have tackled jobs that never, ever should have been tackled before Pesach, resulting in some weird physical and mental manifestations.

Despite stern conversations with myself before I began my Pesach routine, I added a new condition this year also--it goes by I.D.I.O.T.M.O.M. and stands for I Did It Only To Myself, Only Myself. Somehow I got ahead of myself this year--the house was cleaned and my kitchen is turned. This couldn't be right, I told myself. I didn't do something "vital." Having forgotten how to sit down and relax, I "accidentally" started a new project in the middle of Pesach making that no one else can help me with because I'm not yet sure what I'm doing, and I have no one to blame for this mess but myself.

I decided to rearrange all the pictures on all the walls. I'm in denial mode at the moment and have decided that this was caused by an excess of exposure to chemical substances. Right about now those pictures are going to go back up on the walls just where they were, if I can remember that. I'm adding a note to the lists for next year--don't bring on being an IDIOTMOM. Home decorating can wait until the summer.

And just as an additional note: my inanimate objects struck again yesterday. The battery in my cell phone died completely and needed replacement. On my way to the phone store, the muffler on my car came partially off, and I ran over it with my tire. The entire muffler had to be replaced. I still don't have the phone's new battery and I'm frankly a little bit leery about taking that trip again, given yesterday's results.

Chag Sameach!


concernedjewgirl said...

My distributor cap and rotor went. Needed to replace that and belts and all other good things!
Don’t you love it the week before Pesach…Personally even with being remarkably calm last week, this week all bets are off! I’ve got more work than one person can ever handle to be done by tomorrow!!! Who needs sleep….

mother in israel said...

We are all just relieved to learn that you are not the perfect balabusta after all LOL. We love in either case.

Anonymous said...

Might it make you feel better to know that you're not the only one in that IDIOTMOM club? Several years ago I realized that my dining room chairs needed to be reupholstered and since I'm pretty handy I thought I'd do it myself. Naturally, the moron in me chose the week before Pesach to do my project because after all, who wouldn't want nice new looking chairs for Pesach. Once I started I had to finish...I still shudder when I remember that week.

Orthonomics said...

My major project before Pesach is contracted work which I do while my kids have other parental care. My brian is dead and my skin is too. Toiveling is the chore I wish I didn't have to do this week. It took my hands from dry to very, very dry.

Fortunately, I had my nervous breakdown yesterday.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the great tip about scheduling a nervous breakdown. I told my husband yesterday that I was scheduling my nervous breakdown for Thursday morning from 8 to 10:30. I got a great reaction from him. He looked really strangely at me, went out and brought in ready made supper and told me to sit down and relax because I was working too hard. I'm making a note for next year to schedule at least two of those breakdowns.