Thursday, February 12, 2009

A New Wrinkle

I received the following from one of the shidduch groups whose mailing list I am on. Will wonders never cease--men involved in making shidduchim;surely an idea whose time has long been overdue. Perhaps if dads and others are getting involved in shidduch making they will find out up close and personal just how frustrating the whole process is. Welcome to the madness gentlemen.

Hello Again, The Ave J Shidduch Group announces a shidduch meeting next Motzei Shabbos Feb. 14th 2009 at R' Kahn's Shul 1721 Ave J (corner E18th) at 8:45 pm. THIS MEETING WILL BE DIFFERENT AS IT IS A MEN'S SHIDDUCH MEETING-MEANING THAT MEN WILL HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO PRESENT SINGLES (male or female).WE WILL, HOWEVER, PROVIDE AN EZRAS NOSHIM (WOMEN'S SECTION) FROM WHICH WOMEN WILL BE ABLE TO LISTEN TO THE MEETING AND SEND UP "NAMES" TO BE PRESENTED. Please come and encourage any men in your life to participate as well...if they are involved in this mitzvah too. Any questions reach me at or at any of the following numbers. Thank You,-- Mendy Meyer
718 377 0764
347 512 1708


Bas~Melech said...

I guess you're saying men don't usually participate in these activities. Maybe that is one of the reasons why there seem to be so few boys being suggested. (My mother has been to some of these meetings and says everyone has a list of girls but maybe two or three boys' names come up.)

ProfK said...

There have always been a few men who served as professional shadchanim, as well as a few fathers who are active in trying to find shidduchim for their children. They are the exception. However, I don't think it is the sex of the presenter that has anything to do with whether or not males or females names are presented.

In general, yes, there are more females presented at shidduch meetings than males, but there is a rather simple explanation for that. Far more girls use the services of a shadchan than boys do. Let a boy get into the parshah and everybody that has any connection to the family will call that boy's mother with a girl for him. In addition, shadchanim call the mother and hope to get on the list. The mothers of boys have lists of girls that have been thus presented. I have yet to come across a girl's mother with such a list of boys names to choose from, the only exception having been when the daughters of a bazillionaire started in with shidduchim.