I've been seeing a lot of advertisements for programs that bill themselves as best for filling "the gap year." I've also heard some people talking about that gap year. I admit to being rather puzzled. By definition a gap is "an empty space or interval; interruption in continuity; hiatus; break, breach. " We normally don't think of gaps as being positive things. So why do we have this "gap year," and why is it being marketed to so agressively?
It would seem that the gap year is that fill-in-the-blank space between high school and what comes next in life. But why is there a gap between high school and the rest of life? At least in my younger days we knew that after high school, with no gap in sight, we would go on to college, to technical training and/or to work. There was no discontinuity between high school and the rest of life. Why have we suddenly discovered a void that needs to be filled?
One reason that presents itself is our attitude towards marriage. "Someone" has decided that 19 is an absolutely perfect age for girls to get married. But most girls graduate high school well before they turn 19. There would seem to be a real fear that if girls start out on a vocational track right after high school {one that takes longer than 1-1/2 years to complete]they just might--gasp!--not be anxious to get married until they are finished with what they started post high school.
I suppose it makes a perverted kind of sense to have that gap year. After all, we talk about putting our boys in the "freezer" until they are ready for shidduchim (whatever that actually means). I guess the girls have to have that gap until the boys are ready to be defrosted. (Did I really write that last sentence in referring to living, breathing human beings? Sheeesh!)
Gap year? Sounds like planned warehousing to me. Yet another attempt at social engineering that sounds like bad science fiction run amok.
Note: I purposefully did not mention the expenses involved in having this gap, which for many serves as "extra" or "extraneous" education, not directly related to what a person might be going to study in college/graduate school. Friends and family have mentioned to me the amount charged by the Israeli seminaries and yeshivas, and this doesn't include all the "extras" such as plane fares, food, phones and other living expenses. One acquaintance could conceivably have three kids in the gap year(s) at once. That's a $60K-70K expense. The parents don't want to play favorites and let only one child go, (note--one set of twins, male and female, plus one female only one year older) so right now they are saying no one will go, and oh boy you should see the fireworks.
12 comments:
This is another example of how things that used to be optional are now considered mandatory by the frum community (along with lavish simchas, human hair sheitels, expensive furniture and linens for newlyweds, Pesach at a hotel...)
"right now they are saying no one will go, and oh boy you should see the fireworks."-
There's another whole post right there: children who have no concept of how difficult it can be for their parents to afford these kinds of luxuries.
I remember a marketing professor once telling us that branding is very tricky. You need a catchy name that will be easy to remember. It also should have mental connections for the person hearing it. And it needs to mentally represent something a person needs or wants. It should be seen as filling a void. The Gap year and its ads fulfill all of the requirements. As your posting title shows it connects to and has favorable recognition to something that is desireable--the Gap clothing. And if a gap is a void, then these programs fill that void, a positive thing to those who hear about them. Madison Avenue at its best.
Good luck to those parents. It's hard enough when one child gets on the "I have to have it, I have to go, everyone else is going" bandwagon. When three are doing it at the same time it can't be much fun for the parents who have to say no.
Why is it that parents cannot be honest with their children? I understand not wanting children to worry or be concerned but there is a certain approach to be taken. When a child never hears the word 'NO' then of course they are puzzled at what could possibly be the reason that they cannot do/go/get something that they want. Children especially in high school can and do understand what is or is not affordable. If a parent cannot afford $60-70K a year for their children to do nothing but kill time then it shouldn't come to these kids as a surprise.
Also, as to this idea of a GAP year. It was heavily advertised to travel or do these sorts of programs when I was a high school senior. It didn't even occur to me to ask my parents if I could do it or if I should do it. I already knew what the answers would be. Something that is a waste of time and money had no presence in my parents home. Life is to precious to just put a year or two on hold!
I did spend a year in Israel, but I got college credit for it, so it didn't end up being a "wasted" year. (Year and a half, actually.) And seminary is still cheaper than Stern College, though seminaries are notorious for giving little to no financial aid.
Personally, when I went to seminary, my parents got me there, and I was responsible for all of my expenses once the plane landed. I paid for my own transportation, my own food, etc. It was the same deal when I got to college - my parents got me there (in addition to some student loans and federal work-study on my part) and I was responsible for whatever money I wanted to spend. I worked in the school for two years, and I also worked every summer.
Also, maybe it's just me, but the costs of these programs are increasing at a higher rate than inflation. When I went to seminary (less than 10 years ago) the average cost was about $12K. The very most expensive schools were $14K. Now, $20K is not unheard of; in fact, I think it's considered pretty "normal". Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that if the fees were increasing at the same rate as inflation, they might be up to $13-14K now. Why the sharp increase?
It's supply and demand at work here Scraps. I was the only person from my graduating class who went to Israel 26 years ago. The others went to local seminaries if they were going at all. I only ended up in Israel because I was very pro aliyah and I wanted to attend a school where my education would help me when I was in Israel. I went to Michlalah Teachers College not for one year but for three. Cost for each year was about $7K including my plane fares and we had to buy our own food. It's triple now and that doesn't include the airfares or the food or any other incidentals. Way above the rate of inflation.
Irony is that I met a boy from the States in Israel, fell in love and ended up living in the States instead of Israel. Still used the degree though but here instead. Hopefully we'll be heading to Israel in a few years. Two married kids already living there.Strange thing is I didn't give my kids gap years. They participated in summer programs where they went as volunteers to Israel.
My 15 year old son already knows that a year in Israel after high school is not going to happen (luckily, it's not something that he really wants to do anyway). We've decided that he will wait until he turns 18, and then tour Israel for free on a Birthright trip.
Coming from someone who works at the Gap, I thought 18 was the age of HS graduation....
Katie,
The public school system has a fairly rigid cutoff date for school entrance; if you are born after that date you are placed one grade below. Yeshivas are not as rigid in their age requirements and the range of ages in any one class can be quite varied, as can the starting ages for full time schooling. One of my kids graduated 2-1/2 months after turning 17, another at 17-1/2 and the last at 2 weeks before she turned 18. They all had classmates a year older than they were and even a few who were younger.
Ahhh I see thank you.
Once established, institutions and programs work hard to become part of the immutable infrastructure of the community they exist within. Who offers these gap year programs? Seminaries and yeshivas that specifically came into being with out of country students as their target. Why and how do they stay in existence? Because they have convinced their target audience that they are a necessary part of Jewish life, one that has to be there, and that parents are at fault if they don't want to/can't send their children. They don't represent themselves as ONE alternative to the post high school years: they represent themselves as the ONLY choice to make.
The pressure on parents to provide this gap year is enormous. It's more than past time for parents to push back. The word NO is a useful tool, coupled with an explanation of just how money works in the real world.
So maybe the question to ask is a different one. If money was not a concern or an issue then would parents feel differently about having this gap year? My parents would not have felt differently. They didn't like the idea of a year off being hefker away without family guidance or influence.
Here is a wild and crazy idea. How about 18 year olds working for 1/2 year and saving enough to then do a 1/2 year program in Israel. Alternatively, create work/study programs in Israel - where students can work 1/2 days and study 1/2 days. I did that on a Kibbutz many years ago.
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