Readers, I've put up three polls dealing with hair covering. The fact that some women would be willing to finance a sheitle purchase led me to wonder about just how women are covering their hair, the number of hair coverings they own and how long they keep these coverings. Gentlemen, if your wives are not readers here then would you be so kind as to answer about your wife's hair covering habits. The polls will remain open until 6:00 PM on Sunday, February 22. Please answer all questions that apply. Please scroll all the way down to find the polls.
Note: If you have specific comments you wish to make regarding the polls, please do so on this posting.
24 comments:
You almost started a milchamah in my house tonite. Asked my wife for her answers and she said she didn't really know so I said let's look. You would not believe the pile of tichlach and hats that came out of the closet. Let's not even go to the sheitels and falls. Truthfully I don't remember her wearing most of what was there. And then I asked her if she knew approximately what all this had cost. That's why I'm on the computer now, giving her a chance to cool down. You could have warned me.
May I or my fiancee give answers for what she'll be doing a few months from now?
Sure JLan, why not.
I was scrolling around a few sites that sell wigs online, both hair and synthetic. All three sites made the point that if you wear a wig every day then they won't last much more then 3-6 months. Okay, they are trying to sell you more wigs, but isn't that a really short usage time? I mostly wear hats so my wigs last for years, but how long should a wig last for?
More expensive wigs do last longer and better, to a point. Good wigs can last 3 years even if worn every day. Maybe longer. But you have to take good care of your wigs.
Things that you need every day are often worth spending money on, since they get more wear. One can get away with a cheaply made gown for a one time event, as long as it looks decent, because it doesn't need to last.
I'm copying my comment from the last shaitel thread here also, in response to Anonymous who claimed that a wig might not be needed working in a major corporation:
"A stylish hat would NOT make it in my workplace. Would I be fired? Never. Would I advance in my career the same way I would if I wear the shaitel? Highly unlikely. It's not a chance that's worth taking, since the potential income from career advancement far exceeds the cost of a shaitel or two."
Also, hair covering is a mitzvah that some people have trouble with. They don't find it easy. If a nice wig or a large variety of coverings makes it easier for them to observe this mitzvah, the investment might be worth it. If in the name of frugality a husband limited his wife's headcoverings, he might not like the result.
Just like with anything else it pays to shop around when buying sheitlach and falls. I wanted a longer sheitle that I could wear up or down and asked around the sheitle machers in Brooklyn. There was a huge spread on the price.
Then I checked online. I ended up ordering online because the price was so much cheaper for the same type of wig--human hair with a mono base so it could be parted any way I wanted it. 22 inch length cost me only $345. Add in $30 at a local salon to cut and style. I've had it now for almost 4 years and it still looks great.
You need to put sheitles into perspective. My mother and mother in law don't wear their hair covered all the time and when they do cover they wear hats. Like many women in their age group they get their hair washed and styled on a weekly to bi-weekly schedule. When they started this out it cost them only $10 a week for this. Today most salons charge at least double for a wash and combout. Even at $10 that was about $520 a year--actually more because of going in before a wedding or bar mitzvah or a yom tov. At $20 that's more than $1000 per year to get the hair done. And that is not including tips. I could buy a new shaitle every year and get it washed and styled every two months and still not equal what they pay for real hair upkeep. Mostly I keep a sheitle for about two years. Costs me lots less then to go to a salon all the time for real hair.
Rae, good point. I have heard that salon coloring, blowouts, Japanese straightening, etc. cost a fortune.
I do believe that at least some hair coverers still like to go to the salon to get their hair cut and even styled, even if they don't go once a week.
I've cut back significantly, but my hair is thick enough that sometimes I end up going just to get some relief from the mass of hair under my hat. In fact, I'm thinking of going to get my hair cut again within the next two weeks because it is driving me crazy.
No one mentioned this before I went to buy my first sheitle but I discovered it after a few years. If you are wearing a human hair sheitle every day, the whole day, then it should be washed at least once a week. Would you leave your own hair to be washed only once a month or every other month? No!!! Under the sheitle you are perspiring and your natural hair oils are building up on the inside of the sheitle. Smell one of those sheitles after a few weeks and it's not pleasant. Frankly, I think it's gross to put something on like that for months at a time. But if you take it to a sheitle maker to be washed that often then the cost is out of sight. Even if you wash it at home and just have her style it it costs way too much. Real hair sheitles lose their style the minute you make them wet. I'm not particularly good at hair styling and I can never get a real hair sheitle to look anything like what it did when the sheitle maker did it.
I found that a synthetic sheitle solved the problem. You can wash it as often as you want and then just shake it out. The style is built into the sheitle and only takes a very little combing on your part to have it look the same as when you got it. Another plus is that they are cheaper.
LOVE THIS TOPIC!
When I was engaged everyone had an opinion on sheitals. Since I knew I was going to cover my hair 100% of the time I decided that I would work my way up to a Sheital. I have many tichels...any time someone comes or goes to Israel that is the only thing I ask for. At the cost of 5 shekels I have two full drawers full. Total cost less than $30 U.S. I also own about 4 or 5 hats...total cost less than $100.
Then after the first year of marriage I decided, I need hair to feel nice at weddings and other social events. My husband does not like Sheitals but understood that it is a necessary evil. I bought two synthetic ones $60 for both. They are doing the job thus far.
Its now 21/2 years of marriage.
Now, I am thinking of getting a real hair sheital that will probably cost a LOT.
WHY?
Mainly because of what tesyaa said, career.
I've recently lost my job where I was able to wear hats (or so I thought) freely. The problem is that I would have never climbed the ranks nor had any further prospect in that company if I were still working there with a hat on. Again, they would not fire me or lay me off because of a hat. But, my career would not advance as nicely as someone who does not stand out. Sorry but that's the truth.
Now, looking for a new job...can't interview in a hat...not in corporate America. If you have and you've landed a job that's great. I feel otherwise.
Now, 21/2 years later I know what I'm looking for in a sheital. I know that I will pay for comfort of the cap. I will pay for a multi-directional part. I will pay for it to look like its my own hair. Unlike my synthetic ones, that are cute but are still looking like wigs.
My experience taught me that if most of my friends waited as I did. They would have saved money, they would have found out what they are really needing, and they would have realized what they truly want out of a hair covering. I am looking to buy my first Sheital of great quality my friends that bought both a sheital and a fall before they got married are now looking for something that they truly want to wear and buy. So, in the end I feel like I saved a lot of money and stress.
Rachi brought up a good point about how often you need to wash a sheitle. I'm getting married next month and I know I can't afford to bring in my sheitle to wash every week. Those of you with more experience in wearing and washing them, how often do you have to take them in to wash and style?
Tesya and ConcernedJewGirl--I'll agree that for most of the more conservative corporate companies a hat may get in your way but I work in advertising and I got my promotions hats and all. I just made sure that all my hats were a key part of the outfit and looked like they belonged in a business environment. The only head covering comment I ever got from one of my bosses was over a shaitle not a hat. I have a long fall, a short fall and a medium length sheitle. I would alternate them. The constant change of hair length is what got the comment. Go figure.
for anyone out there who uses sheitels, even custom ones. You can wash them and set them yourself. Back during my sheitel wearing years I did it very often. If you are not sure, ask a friendly sheitel macher to let you watch once.
I even bought a giant head with a suction cup to be able to work better.
for everyday use washing it at home is fine, once in a while take it to a professional or before chagim/weddings
I must say I am very happy that in Israel wearing a tichel is completly acceptable.
The polls don't distinguish between human hair sheitels and synthetics.
I have 1 human hair one (bought 12! years ago for about $300 and it's just now starting to thin out now - you can tell it doesn't get much actual use) and 3 synthetics. Mostly I wear snoods, though. Much more comfortable, and since I make most of them myself, much much cheaper. And mine are professional looking. (Still significantly cheaper than a sheitel if bought rather than made.)
I'm male, so this isn't my purview really, but I would point out that it's very interesting and illuminating to talk to women of previous generations about this matter:
1) Far fewer women used to cover their hair - those who did weren't as obsessive generally about covering every square inch or covering 100% of the time. Even comparing women who are say 40 to women 20.
2) Especially in Europe, hardly anyone had sheitels - those who did were incredibly wealthy (and even those didn't look good).
Interesting topic!
I own two beautiful sheitels that I paid a pretty penny for. I wear one of them every day and one of them for shabbos/yom tov/special occasions etc. They are both about a year old and are as silky, soft, shiny, luxurious and beautiful as they were the day I brought them home. The idea of buying a new sheitel hasn't even crossed my mind - I expect these two to last at least 4 more years and don't plan on buying a new one before then.
I just plowed through my tichel collection for the sake of this post - I own three scarves and three baret snoods. I only wear them in the house and I'm not sure why I own so many because I generally throw on the one that's in easy reach and forget about all the other ones in the drawer. I guess I can credit myself the fact that I bought them all before my wedding and haven't considered buying anymore since...
Giving a sheitel to a sheitel macher to wash is pricey! I wash my own. I invested in a high quality blow dryer and a clamp for the sheitel head and I NEVER pay anyone to wash them for me! (I'll admit the first few times I tried this the results were not too great but I got the hang of it and now it's no big deal).
Interesting posting. I solve the problem of having to take the sheitle in to be done by wearing a really simple style for weekdays that I can do myself. I wash that wig every week. Same for my Shabbos shaitel. The only wig I give in is the one I keep strictly for weddings or other smachot, and I've owned that one for about 7 years. If you don't learn to do the wigs yourself then there is a real hidden cost to the shaitel that is all the upkeep.I figure that the price of the shaitle doubles if I take it in to be done.
The cost of upkeep is why my shaitle stays mostly in its box and why I wear hats and snoods for the most part. We have only one sheitel stylist locally and she charges $50 for a wash and style. Even if I would wash the sheitel myself the charge would be $45. I think last year I only wore the sheitel about 12 times altogether. At that rate I'll probably own it for about 20 years.
Would a tichel go over better in a business environment than a hat? At my office, there are a number of Muslim women who cover their hair. No one bats an eye because it's obviously for religious reasons. Would a tichel look more "religious" than wearing a hat?
Ahuva, it's not a question of whether it's for religious reasons. It's just that people feel more comfortable with coworkers who look more or less the same as they do. I think that's the end of the story. Do I want to be "that religious woman who just got promoted to VP" (halevai), or just "that new VP"?
Perhaps I misunderstood. I thought the issue was that one wouldn't advance in her job if she wore a hat as opposed to a sheitel (since a hat might be considered unprofessional), not "I don't want to be thought of as the token Jew who got promoted."
Not wanting to stand out is very different from "I won't get promoted if I stand out." The Muslim women (from what I can see) get promoted just fine. I was asking if a headcovering that was obviously religious might get around the "she's wearing something that's not office-appropriate, therefore she doesn't take her career seriously and we won't promote her" issue. A head covering that's obviously religious has a different connotation and doesn't seem to affect the promotability of Muslim women.
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