Friday, August 22, 2008

Playing Jewish Geography

Shidduch making is proving to be impossible to avoid. There I was, in the hustle and bustle of Las Vegas, when I spotted what could only be another frum woman sitting down next to me. And in what seemed to be less than a second we established where we were both from and who we knew in common, despite being from two different parts of the country. And then she said that one of the women we both knew was looking for a shidduch for an older daughter. And a name popped into my mind, someone from yet a third part of the country. She whipped out her cellphone, I whipped out mine and to the shock of both of us the boy said yes and so did the girl, based on nothing more than what we could tell them standing "al achas regel" in the middle of a casino.

It was an absolutely refreshing shidduch to red. No one asked me to do the kind of research better suited for selecting a presidential candidate. No one required 477 references. As the mother of the girl said: "They'll meet, they'll decide." If this ever becomes a shidduch someone is going to have to point out who the choson and kallah are to me. I love it.

Where is this shidduch going? Beats me. This couple, in their late 20s, decided that speaking directly to each other is perfectly fine.

If all shidduch making were as uncomplicated as this one was I might consider going back to being a more active shadchan. So please, tell me again why shidduch making in New York requires more investigation and work than the merger of two international giants of commerce and industry?

There is a postscript to this posting. The couple has already gone out and apparently a second date is in the offing.

10 comments:

SuperRaizy said...

Great story. That's how it should be.

David Staum said...

So please, tell me again why shidduch making in New York requires more investigation and work then the merger of two international giants of commerce and industry?

Because

1) the frum community there has deemed that boys and girls may never meet one another on their own.

2) It's become a status thing. It's the frum version of the whole southern debutante tradition

Anonymous said...

dys:

I'd add:

3. Because in the wacked out shidduch world, "boys" and "girls" (e.g.; children) are being set up. Naturally, children are not allowed to make decisions for themselves so it's up to the parents.

In this example, the shidduch was made between a man and a woman and the rational parents are properly serving as a communications channel rather than a selection committee.

Anonymous said...

Go ProfK!!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like how my shidduch was made only the place was an Albertsons super market. Always leaves me puzzled that marriage, which is between only TWO people, seems to require at least a dozen people just to get to the dating stage in NY. And Tom may be on to something when he talks about chldren getting married. In my younger days you didn't consider getting married until you had a way to support yourself, until you knew what you were going to be doing when you "grew up".

SaraK said...

and if they want to elope in Vegas, they can say "that's where it all started" ;)

Good job!

Gila said...

Brilliant!

Critically Observant Jew said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

kThe Jewish world is awfully small. We were at the in laws house when my SIL was leaving for a date. After she left I was just making conversation and asked who redt the shidduch. I didn't stop laughing for 10 minutes at the answer. My MIL said I wouldn't know the shadchans, they were just two ladies in a casino!

Since you're never met the boy let me tell you that he seemed very nice and you can add cute too.

Bas~Melech said...

No one asked me to do the kind of research better suited for selecting a presidential candidate.

Well, considering that all it takes these days to choose a presidential candidate is good marketing and lots of empty rhetoric, that wouldn't even be so bad for the shadchan...