Friday, May 30, 2008

So, the Sky is Not Falling?

I'm posting the following link because it represents a practical and down to earth look at we call the "Shidduch Crisis."

Thanks to my offspring for bringing it to my attention.


G said...

Clear, rational and sensible.'ll never catch on.

Anonymous said...

No, the sky isn't falling, that was just part of a crane this morning in Manhattan, Hashem yirachem.

Good article. The panic tone has been set by certain members of the 'heimishe' segment of the community, who tend to reach it before other segments do. In this, as in other matters, in recent years this segment has become more visible and exerted greater influence, partially due to their increased visiblity and volume. But when things get too far out of hand, like with the stock market, dot com, and real estate bubbles, a correction is on the way sooner or later. Some others have to speak out at times, so that that segment doesn't totally drown out other voices and perspectives.

Nowadays, boruch Hashem, we are blessed with better health and longer lifespans on average, among other things, so that has to be taken into account in such a discussion. Take a look at the ages of marriage in the Torah too (hint, they weren't always at 18, even if they lived longer then than we do now).

Biezras Hashem, we should have true simchas bei Yidden.

P.S. I nominate Prof. K. to be Shidduch Czarina, a new position to address this issue, to look after the interest of all the poor czardines out there (kol Yisroel bnei melochim, as stated in Chazal).

Anonymous said...

Finally someone who isn't looking to stir up a panic in people by yelling crisis. She made some really good points. And G may be right that it won't catch on with the group that it should catch on with, the group D calls the most vocal group. I'd be happy if it just caught on with one group in the frum world (the one more to the left) and maybe the fringe group that doesn't quite belong left or right.

Anonymous said...

Common sense when talking about shidduchim? Those who don't have the common sense are not even going to give any serious consideration to the article because it appeared in the Jewish Press and the Jewish Press is not Jewish enough for them. You won't have any change on the right until some rav, suddenly blessed with real common sense stands up and says "Rabbosai we're doing this all wrong." We're not supposed to count on miracles to change our lives and I'm not counting on hearing those words for a really long time.

concernedjewgirl said...

I agree with Debra. Everyone in the klal can talk about it, and does. Yet, the people that should talk about the problem do not. The ones that can actualy change something, do not. SO for the rest of us, we can talk till our friends ears drop, nothing is going to change.

ProfK said...

Sorry, I was absent from my blog for a bit and couldn't respond to comments.

D--I've read my history books and remember all too well what happened to the last Czarina. As they say in Yiddish "nor dos feilt mir os." I'll pass on being the Czarina, but if you're of the mind to be Czar I'll vote for you. Czardines? Oy!

ConcernedJewGirl, the first step is to talk about something and to keep talking about it. Those things that are never talked about have no chance of ever being different. At some point with things that are talked about there comes a springing into action. It may not be coming fast enough for some of us but unless we keep pointing out that there is a problem--being a thorn--no one is going to want to "pull out" that thorn and heal the wound.

Anonymous said...

If you want people to change a particular behavior you have to give them a reason they will buy for changing it. They either have to fear something or there has to be a good benefit that is very desireable. Too much of the discussion centers on the problem but not enough on the "carrots" needed to get change to happen. What we need to find is somethiing that the others will want and will be willing to change for.