Friday, December 10, 2010

Mother Nature, Take Note

It does not comfort me whatsoever that the weather forecasters are saying that the type of frigid temperatures being seen in the Northeast are unusual for this time of year and are only seen about once every 10-15 years. The instruction manual for my freezer explains why I'm not comforted.

The ideal freezer temperature is 0 F (-18C) for long term storage of food. However, most food freezes solid at any temperature lower than 32 degrees. The higher the liquid and/or fat content, the faster the food will freeze, and at temperatures close to that 32 degrees. Meat will freeze solid faster than sugar-based items such as ice cream, and again, will freeze close to that 32 degrees.

Human beings have high amounts of liquid and fat as part of their makeup. I'd say that our bodies qualify as "meaty." Ergo, human beings begin to freeze as temperatures go below 32 degrees. When I got into my car yesterday morning the outside temperature reading was 24 degrees--it didn't get all that much warmer during the rest of the day. And it got a whole lot colder in the evening. Unfortunately, unlike with our freezers, when the weather gets too cold and we get over-frozen, we can't call a repair person to adjust the thermostat.

It's going to be a lonnnnnnggggg, cold winter this year, and I, for one, am miffed with Mother Nature. If she is going to give me a "gift," shouldn't she first make sure that I'd like it and would welcome it? If only weather could be returned like unwanted presents, even I would brave the crowds in the malls this time of year.

Have a warm and toasty Shabbos and keep repeating through chattering teeth and with a semi-frozen tongue "This won't last forever, this won't last forever!"


Rae said...

I'd say it looks like you really, really need to be moving to a warmer climate. How's the move coming to Las Vegas?

ProfK said...

It's not Rae, or at least not in the way we had hoped. We're mulling our options right now.