Thursday, August 20, 2009

One Size Doesn't Fit All

From its inception I have hated one-size-fits-all clothing. No, one size does NOT fit all. Perhaps, maybe there might be a few people that that clothing fits in all ways that clothing should fit. But everyone? Not in this world. But as long as some people believe that one size can fit all we are going to have the type of mis-fitting we see, in clothes and in lots of other areas as well.

There are an awful lot of how-to and advice books published. Some of them have some good advice to give, but only as a starting point for using what fits you and discarding the rest. Those who believe that the author had them in mind when writing the book need to remember that advice books are also one size fits all, and not all of that advice is going to fit you to a tee.

I was asked by someone to give her some pointers about setting up a budget for a newly wed couple. I glanced through a few of those books and some of the articles I've saved, but I didn't send her the names and tell her to read herself. Why not? Because a lot of them contain that famous Internet item--TMI--too much information. I picked out some items to write to her about, items that I thought she could easily adapt to her own personal situation. I wrote to her about some things that personal experience and observation have taught me are important. But I never lost track of the fact that whatever information I give her, she will have to sew her own financial "garment," one that fits the situation she and her choson will find themselves in. Yes, like with any well made garment, there are a few basics common to all budgets, the strong thread, if you will, that sews everything together. And yes, I told her that her "garment" cannot exceed the amount of money she has available to pay for it.

Those of us who have lived for a good few years and have experience across a lot of areas need to keep in mind, any time that we give out advice to someone else, that there are no "duplicate" people, identical in every way to other people. One size fits all advice is fraudulent at best. Beyond certain very few basics, people need to create for themselves the perfect "outfit." One thing I do know: if you don't like the color, the fabric, the fit and the style of an outfit, it's going to hang in your closet and never get worn. The same goes for advice that doesn't fit you well.

Should we never give advice to other people? Nope, I'm not saying that at all. But we need to be open minded about that advice. And we sure need to not get insulted if all or most of that advice is not used. It would be nice if some of the advice I gave the new kallah would be worthwhile to her, be helpful to her, be useful to her. Yes, I'd feel good if something I said could make things easier for her. But the decision as to the worth of the advice is not mine to make--it's hers. If it fits her, I'm happy I could help. If it doesn't, please don't try and follow it just to make me happy if it doesn't make you happy.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"This is far more than a blog"

Good luck