They Don't Make Them Like They Used To

Just in case anyone missed it, I love Purim. Always have. For me it is the ideal holiday. There's no fasting (okay, Taanis Esther is there, but it's not Purim), nothing read to make you cry, the stranger the outfits worn the better, so no worry about what's going to be said about what you're wearing, the oven doesn't heat the house for 48 hours, there are no bees or mosquitoes attempting to share your meals, there is no Yizkor, you can see everyone you want to see because you can drive and simcha is a requirement. What's not to like?

I do have one complaint, however. It's about shalach monos. Or maybe it's about the lack of shalach monos. Or maybe about the types of shalach monos.

In the dark ages, everyone baked for Purim. The focus of the shalach monos was baked goods, with maybe a piece of fruit, or a few candies or some nuts added in. Shalach monos were sent on a paper plate, covered with foil or plastic wrap. And then came "progress." There were the little cardboard boxes that you had to fold together yourself. Okay, easier to transport then the paper plates.

Shalach monos was a great family activity. Everyone got together to do the baking and then to assemble the shalach monos. Children were part of the activity from start to finish. They helped to put together the shalach monos and then they helped by delivering. It was terrific to see how the children had grown from year to year. And then there was Purim Gelt, the quarters prepared to give to each child who came to the house.

The first hint that things were changing was when groceries and bakeries started selling ready made packages of shalach monos. Then came the "chocolate/nut" stores offering yet more elaborate prepared shalach monos. This gave new meaning to "leave the driving to us."

And then progress reared its head again. Yeshivas and organizations got into the shalach monos business. Why kill yourself making shalach monos, they crooned to the crowds. Do two mitzvas at once, they said: give tzedaka to us and give shalach monos to your nearest and dearest as well. Not only did you no longer have to shop and bake and put together, but the organization would deliver the shalach monos as well--an effortless undertaking on your part. And then came the truly revolutionary idea from these organizations: give us tzedaka money and we'll give you a card to send out that says "a donation has been made in your name" instead of giving a package. (And a real accountant's question here: if the donation has been given in my name shouldn't I be able to take it as a tax deduction instead of the giver?) No real overhead on our part and you are "potur" with the mitzvah of shalach monos. And just an observation here: these shalach monos are really heavy on the container part and not so heavy on the "monos" part.

And because it was all so easy people began enlarging their shalach monos lists to huge proportions. And every one of their children had to give at least 2 shalach monos and how can you only send to two of their friends when there were others who would be insulted? And somehow shalach monos went from being a mitzvah to big business. You gotta love it when you get one shalach monos which is from 17 different people.


My family doesn't buy into the commercialization of shalach monos; we do things the old fashioned way. Granted, our shalach monos are a bit more elaborate then my mother's were. I spend the months before Purim scouting around for a container of some sort to put the shalach monos in--not expensive but convenient for stacking and packing. And yes, we still bake here, lots of baking. And it's worth every minute of preparation time and of staying up working with my daughter until 2:30 because you should have seen the happy faces waiting for a nibble as things came out of the oven.

The reason I'm given for not baking any more is that it's a question of kashrus. Not everyone will eat things that are baked by others. Here's my newsflash to those people: I don't send shalach monos to every Tom, Dick and Yankele I have ever met. I send shalach monos to those people I count as friends and family. These people have all eaten in my home. I believe that settles the issue of kashrus very nicely. "No, no!" some people say. When all the shalach monos get put together after Purim there's no way to tell your shalach monos baked goods from the others that they won't eat from and so nobody bakes any more." Sorry, but my baked goods are the obvious ones--not wrapped in stiff plastic and not produced beginning in January. And if no one is baking any more, then mine are even easier to pick out. They're the ones the bakeries don't sell: the blueberry almond madeleines, the triple chocolate mini cupcakes, the fudgy walnut cookies, the muerbe teig hamentaschen with my mother's special filling--14 fruits and nuts ground together and a taste like gan eden.

Aside from the fact that my rav holds that you have not fulfilled the mitzva of shalach monos unless you personally deliver, thus "giving," shalach monos to two different people, where is the fun of Purim in the commercial shalach monos? Where is the family time?

Because Purim comes out erev Shabbos the shalach monos list is shorter this year: no trip to Brooklyn to deliver to family and friends. Even so, the baskets are stacked and ready to be filled for our neighborhood. And my children have all cleared their schedules so they can help put shalach monos together. There are still a few holdouts like my family that make their own shalach monos. The funny thing is that people actually look forward to getting those homemade shalach monos. Friday night someone commented to me that she hopes I'm baking the blueberry almond cakes because she loves those. Another person piped up that no, no it has to be the chocolate cookies. I suppose I could give them the recipes, but why bother? Baking is becoming a truly lost art, especially for Purim. A real shame.