A Little (Air) Plane Speaking

Members of Klal have frequently opened their daily newspapers and have been faced with articles in which frum Jews are portrayed in a negative manner. Certainly the reporting about Israel is lopsided, with a "look what the Jews are doing to the poor Arabs" slant. Those outside of Klal don't understand our customs and those reporting don't bother to try and find out. Anti-semitism is in print, however loosely some attempt is made to make it seem otherwise. Many of the things reported are totally skewed; facts are left out or are presented in such a way that puts our practices in a negative manner.

And then there is what we do to ourselves. A recent letter to the Yated in the Readers Write section was from a frum Jew complaining about the public behavior of a group of frum young married women on a Jet Blue flight from Ft. Lauderdale to New York. The behavior was called a Chillul Hashem and I agree with the writer.

In a nutshell, the women and their young children boarded the plane and refused to sit down unless they could be seated together. Their akshonos caused the plane to be 1/2 hour late in leaving. One stewardess left the plane because she refused to serve "those people." These women, clearly vacationing without their husbands, allowed their young children to scream and run around the plane for the whole flight. They stood up and yelled to each other over the heads of other passengers, and carried on as if they were the only ones on the plane. One woman, having changed a baby's dirty diaper in the restroom, left the diaper on the counter for someone else to take care of. The next passenger to use the restroom showed this to a stewardess and another brouhaha ensued.

The writer of the letter cringed at the picture the public was getting of frum Jews. I'm cringing along with her. Had this been a case of only one young woman on the plane perhaps it could have been explained away by us as one person who perhaps had never been taught any manners. But six? Something else going on there.

If the letter is accurate in describing what went on in the plane, what you have is a case of institutionalized bad behavior. What you have is a group of young married women who most likely were taught in their schools that they are heads and tails above anyone outside of their own world. What they weren't taught is how to behave in that outside world, how to get along with other people. Having been anointed as "bnos Yisroel" there is no need for them to deal with others in a considerate manner; such others are beneath their consideration. Such young women were most likely told not to go out into the secular world; if they work, they work in the institutions of Klal. They shop in stores owned by frum Jews. They socialize only with each other. Anything outside of their narrow purview is not deserving of respect.

But they knew enough about that outside world to know that Florida in the winter time is a good place to vacation. They knew enough to book a plane reservation. And here is what else I'll surmise. They either knew about how seats are assigned on an airplane and had already been told at the check in desk by the gate that they could not sit together and didn't care, or they didn't know and didn't care about the rules either. Any one else with even a speck of manners, being told that they could not all sit together, would have gone to their seats and that would have been the end of it. Not these women.

There are any number of young married women who would not have caused this chillul Hashem. Somewhere along the line they have been taught by their parents or learned from their own experience that common courtesy extends to everyone. Someone will have taught them that when a frum person goes out in public they are representing Klal to the outside world, like it or not. Someone will have taught them manners. And then there is the group on the plane.

When the institutions of Klal preach a party line that inculcates in the listeners the idea that they are better than everyone else, that they have no reason to learn the rules about the outside world, that those not of their belief system are unworthy of their efforts then we have a real problem. There were all kinds of people on that plane. And every one of those people carried away with them a picture of what frumkeit is that is skewed. And when they landed and were heading home and someone asked them "How was your trip?" you can just imagine how they described the plane ride.

I am appalled that my good name has been smeared by these young married women. I am appalled that all the positive midos that I know schools teach seem to be reserved only for each other. I am appalled because some other young married woman traveling with children and who is obviously frum is going to be looked at with suspicion and with disgust based solely on the behavior of this group.

I am appalled but I am not surprised. To the rest of the world I look frum Jewish: long skirt, covered hair. But when I have had occasion to go shopping in the venues in the "ghetto" areas of Brooklyn, I clearly stand out as not from the neighborhood. And the behavior exhibited on that plane can be seen towards me as well. Standing in line to pay for a purchase, two young women went to shoulder in in front of me. When I objected one said to the other "Vos tit zie du?"--what is she doing here? Only their "own kind" belong apparently.

I won't even raise the question of what these women were doing in Ft. Lauderdale of all places during the beginning of winter break for the colleges here in the states. I won't even begin to question why 6 young married women were vacationing without their husbands. I won't begin to question what their behavior must have looked like to the Floridians that week. What I will question is just what kind of a job our schools are doing if these are examples of the students being graduated.

As I said before, one obnoxious woman is bad enough, but that could just be her. But six? That is indicative of a larger problem. This kind of chillul Hashem Klal can do without.