Sunday, April 4, 2010

More Than Four Questions on Pesach

Housewives in the kitchen for Pesach have their own sets of questions they ask every year, and they number far more than four. Herewith a few of my own.

Question: Is it possible that a family that doesn't eat 16 dozen eggs across 12 weeks during the regular year can really use/consume that many eggs during the 8 days of Pesach?

Answer: Yes. Either that or there is a weasel living in my store room that is over dosing on eggs.

Question: If it takes 2-3 weeks to use up 5 lbs. of potatoes during the regular year how is it possible to use up 30 lbs. of potatoes during the 8 days of Pesach?

Answer: Not just possible but you'll run out of potatoes by motzoai yom tov and need to buy again for Shabbos.

Question: Are inanimate kitchen items really inanimate? If they are inanimate then how is it possible that every time I turn around the same pots and prep pans, just used and put away, are right back in the sink needing to be washed yet once again?

Answer: I know, I know, they aren't living beings capable of self-locomotion; after all, scientists say it's impossible. And we just know that scientists have all the answers. Well, let them come and observe my kitchen next Pesach. So far one pan has miraculously appeared 67 times in the sink--and we're not yet into the second days of yom tov.

Question: How is it possible for all the laundry hampers/baskets to be overflowing and yom tov is not yet over when the drawers holding our clothing are still full?

Answer: No answer that I'm happy with to this question but it brings up a different question.

Question: If I can do 3-6 loads of laundry during the course of one regular week then how is it possible to do 16 loads of laundry between motzoai yom tov and Shabbos while going back to work?

Answer: Doesn't everyone do laundry at 2:00 am?

Question: How is it possible to have served at least 18 meals so far, not to mention that everyone seems to detour through the kitchen no matter where else they are headed for and just happens to open the refrigerator or pantry cabinet, and still have refrigerators that are bursting at the seams?

Answer: Scientifically impossible (note again that science can't explain everything) but apparently food "goes forth and multiplies" when exposed to temperatures under 40 degrees.

Question: This one arose last year and I'm sure it will apply this year as well. How is it possible to take anywhere from 1-3 full days to find a place to put everything needed for Pesach (and still have a few items that float from place to place looking for a home) and yet motzoai yom tov it will take only 72 minutes to get it all packed up and put away until next year?

Answer: The promise of pasta instead of potatoes is a great inducer for everyone to pitch in and turn the kitchen back to normal.

I'm sure you all have questions of your own you are asking right about now. Ah well, no more time to look for answers. That pot has appeared back in the sink and needs washing and, for a change, there are 6-7 meals to be cooked for.

Enjoy the rest of yom tov!


Rabbeinu Yonah said...

Sounds just like the type of article you'd find in the back of a Country Yossi.
Good one.

Rae said...

Have a question of my own and hope someone will have a good answer. Last year I noticed that I was down to one potato peeler--I guessed that the others must have been accidentally thrown out with the peelings. So this year I bought two new peelers. Suddenly the other two appeared like magic and I now have five peelers.

So, the question is, do I take two of the peelers and make them chometzdik or will this automatically gaurantee that the remaining three will disappear somehow while being stored, or do I leave all five pesachdik and discover next year that I now have 8 peelers?

Miami Al said...

We brought back two large boxes from the produce store before Yom Tov, and we have been rapidly whittling it down. Easter is throwing a crimp in my plan to resupply. :)

We eat a lot of eggs normally, no huge change, and we've tried to control the potato consumption.

Lion of Zion said...

"Doesn't everyone do laundry at 2:00 am?"

put the washer/dryer in the kitchen. problem solved.

mo'oadim le-simcha

miriamp said...

I'm so confused. What do you do with all those potatoes?

Granted I didn't do so much cooking this year (spent beginning of Pesach with on again/off again contractions and Chol Hamoed Shabbos into Sunday morning in actual labor, and then last days yomtov in the hospital but now have a beautiful 9lb10oz baby boy for my trouble) but I never ever use more than 10 lbs of potatoes, and I'd have to bake half of them and feed them to the kids for several meals that way even to do that.

And it always takes me way more than 72 minutes to put everything away. This year was excessive, but it took until dinner time Wednesday! Mostly because I wasn't much help and dh had to do most of the work.