Friday, June 19, 2009

Ask and You May Be Surprised at What You Receive

It's no secret to my readers that telephone solicitation calls drive me nuts. I was brought up to be polite but so many of these callers just don't want to take no for an answer. I have found the absolutely perfect way to get them to leave us alone and not call 4,763 more times in the same week. The scenario goes as follows:

Caller: Hello Mrs. K. This is Sorah Jones and I'm calling from the ________school/organization. You were so kind as to give us ______ dollars last year {Caller has said all this without taking a breath. At this point a breath is becoming necessary and that's where I jump in.]

Me: Sorah! I'm so happy you called because you just saved me having to call you!!!! I'm collecting for the ________school here locally and I know that you as someone who is very involved in tzedaka giving would be very pleased to help us out with a large donation, because of course you know how important the _________school is and it needs the money from kindly people like you right now. So how much are you going to give us? {I apparently can hold my breath longer than Sorah or whoever she really is can.]

Caller: I..........

Me: [Jumping right in] Would $100 be okay with you, but more would be.....[sound of dial tone as phone is quickly hung up on Sorah's end.]

This has worked in every single case so far. Maybe if I use it often enough some people will take me off of their calling lists. I sure hope so.


SuperRaizy said...

That is absolute genius!

JS said...

Very clever. Still like Seinfeld's bit:

"Hi. Would you be interested in switching over to TMI Long Distance service?"

"Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later."

"Uh, sorry, we're not allowed to do that."

"Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home."


"Well, now you know how I feel."

Scraps said...

I just sent this post to my parents. They'll LOVE it. And probably start doing it too. :)

Orthonomics said...

I'm going to try this. I've been trying to deflect calls by saying I'm giving locally. But next time I'm soliciting for our won schools, poor, and shuls!

Simi said...

Printing this up and putting by the phones. Hope it works for me like it worked for you. Thanks!

Yosef said...

If you pull this on the phone with them and if most people throw away the mail they get then how are tzedakas supposed to raise money? People don't want to give when strangers come to the door either.

mlevin said...

Yosef - one is supposed to give 10% to Tzedokah. If they throw away envelopes and don't respond to these types of phone calls then they will end up to giving donations to causes they feel are worthwhile and more important. For example, I feel it is more important to give money to save children from being aborted or for helping women with getting pregnant, than to give imature selfish girls money to have expensive wedding or a bunch of freeloaders (aka kollel) to continue on freeloading.