Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Not Gun Shy

Yes, we old married women still occasionally like to bring out the weird date stories from the past. Granted, some of what constitutes dating today in shidduchville is just plain weird altogether, but I'm referring to those no one could possibly imagine happening dates.

I recently met a woman and we did the usual, including exchanging what our maiden names were. When she told me hers my eyes suddenly lit up and I asked her if she had a brother or cousin named X. Indeed she did. Then she asked me why I was asking. It turns out that her first cousin was involved in my strangest date ever (although a couple of others came close).

Back in the day, inviting a girl out for 6:30 meant you were going to be providing a dinner meal. Dress at the relatively few kosher restaurants available back then was fairly formal, so I dressed accordingly.

Once in the car the young man explained his dilemma to me. He had recently been given a rifle by someone--yes, that's rifle such as in gun. The only thing was that he had to take a class to get the licence to own that gun. The class was being given that evening and would I mind going with him to the class. Yes, we went to the class. I learned more about guns than I ever thought I would know or would want to know. And not only did we take the class, but it was being held in proximity to a firing range, and we spent about an hour decked out in gigantic earmuffs and firing at targets. (I'll tell you in case you are wondering--GSR as an aroma is not going to outsell Chanel.) Nothing like target practice decked out in high heels and a fancy outfit.

Okay, weird enough as dates go, but the best (or worst, depending on your gender at the time) part was that I passed the test given at the end of the class and my date didn't. I arrived home starving and headed straight for the fridge with my mom trailing behind me asking how the date went. I handed her my newly acquired gun licence and dove into the leftovers. You should have seen the look on her face. She quite seriously wondered if this was something she needed to share with my dad, because she had real doubts about how he would take the news that his oldest was ready and able to fire at will.

Needless to say, there was no second date--not my decision, but his. I think there was a bit of injured masculine pride at work there. So yes, weird dates are not some new invention of today's generation.

PS: I asked his cousin and she volunteered that he did eventually get the gun licence, much to his parents' dismay. The rifle, however, disappeared upon his marriage, his wife believing that it wasn't a necessary part of the furnishings for their first home.

19 comments:

aminspiration said...

that story is amaaazing! wow! Sounds more fun that a hotel lobby thats for sure!

Abba's Rantings said...

hah! great story!
you left out one little detail--what did you do with your lisence?

Abba's Rantings said...

btw, depending on which city you lived in at the time it might have been a very good investment as today a rifle license can cost a few hundred bucks.

Abba's Rantings said...

"The rifle, however, disappeared upon his marriage, his wife believing that it wasn't a necessary part of the furnishings for their first home"

it never really disappears. my friend has a pistol that his wife made him get rid of when they got married (or had kids?). but he just hid it in the garage. a few years later they picked up a chasidish guy who was hitchiking on the nj turnpike. he needed a place to stay for the night and they offered him a bed. that night the wife realized what they had done, got nervous and commented to her husband that she wished he still had his gun. "hold that thought honey," he said and ran out to the garage.

Trudy said...

Bet the Prof won't tell you Abba one of the things she did with that licence so let an old friend of hers spill the beans.

We were three frum girls majoring in the same thing and sharing a lot of classes. One of our teachers was an sob who didn't much think that women belonged in college and he wasn't all that Jew friendly either. He used to give our little group a lot of grief.

Erev a yom tov the three of us went over to him to tell him that we wouldn't be in class on yom tov and he had scheduled a test for that day. We wanted him to give us a date for a make up exam. He refused to give us another date. When we protested that it wasn't fair he basically sneered at us and said so what are you going to do about it.

The Prof reached into her purse and took out that licence that we all spent so much time laughing about. She put it on the professor's desk. He looked at it and you should have seen the look on his face. Suddenly the bully was backing down. We got our make up date and he stopped bothering us for the rest of the term.

We always told her that that was the most worthwhile date she ever went on, at least as far as we all were concerned.

Anonymous said...

More I hear of these dating stories the more I wonder why we just don't pull names out of a hat when kids are born and match up two birth certificates and mark them for marriage later on. Not sure it would be any worse then having to go through the shidduch dating process going on today.

lifeonacottonball.blogspot.com said...

that is a great story! i was laughing really hard!

a dating guy said...

You have any young relatives or friends just like you? Right now going to a gun class sounds a lot better then the places most girls want to be taken on a date. I hate lounge dates! But go get a girl to agree to something that might mess up her hair or require her to be active. Tell them you thought a hike through a park would be a good place to go and you can see them crossing you off the list and trying to decide how early they can get you to take them home.

Yael said...

I forget sometimes how different the US and Israel are. At home it is expected that both boys and girls of military age will know how to shoot a rifle. Here it makes a strange story of dating.

Aryeh said...

Don't take this the wrong way Yael but I'm very happy to be living here where people my age don't have to know how to shoot a rifle as a matter of national security. I'm much happier with gun licences being a part of a weird date story.

Abba's Rantings said...

TRUDY:

thanks for sharing that story!

ARYEH:

in america it also necessary for people our age to know how to shoot a rifle as a matter of national security. it's just that we've chosen in this generation to let the goyyim do the shooting (and dying) for us.

ProfK_Offspring said...

Hey--how come I first find out about this on your blog?

Tatty (the army-trained expert marksman who once tried to teach his kids to shoot a BB Gun) probably rated that license a plus when he married you. And given some of my insane dating experiences, I would have been totally happy with a date like that (though, not perhaps in good clothes and shoes).

Scraps said...

I'd love to do different and interesting things on a date. While learning to shoot a gun isn't on my bucket list, I'd certainly welcome the chance to go hiking! (And I'd probably give the shooting a chance also, just not on a first date.)

efrex said...

Reminds me of my year in Israel, doing volunteer work with a particular organization and was friendly with one of the young women doing her sherut leumi service, who lived in an over-the-green-line community. During one of our chats, she casually reached into her purse and pulled out a small handgun to show me. Made a quick mental note: "Be careful flirting with this one."

A rifle range sounds like it could be an interesting enough date, though: as others have mentioned, it beats the "coffee in a hotel lounge" routine any day of the week.

efrex said...

More I hear of these dating stories the more I wonder why we just don't pull names out of a hat when kids are born and match up two birth certificates and mark them for marriage later on. Not sure it would be any worse then having to go through the shidduch dating process going on today.

Anonymous (c'mon, folks, think of a pseudonym and use it... t'aint that difficult):

George Bernard Shaw beat you to that punch a century ago. From Misalliance (which I saw some 15 years ago at my beloved Pearl Theatre):

"[my father the priest] has married hundreds of couples: couples selected by one another,
couples selected by the parents, couples forced to marry one another
by circumstances of one kind or another; and he assures me that if
marriages were made by putting all the men's names into one sack and
the women's names into another, and having them taken out by a
blindfolded child like lottery numbers, there would be just as high a
percentage of happy marriages as we have here in England. He said
Cupid was nothing but the blindfolded child: pretty idea that, I think!"

The Rebbetzin's Husband said...

Wow. Almost worth going back to dating, just to try that out...

Unknown said...

Awesome. :)

Ari said...

Terrific story. Trudy's too!

Sefardi Gal said...

Wow. That's truly weird.
I would love to pass that test!

Reminds me of when I beat my date at a couple of the "intelectually stiumulating" games at the arcade. He wasn't amused. :D