It's hardly a secret that New York and I have a love/hate relationship. Despite having lived here for more years than I lived out of town, I still consider myself an out of towner, although a displaced one. I don't consider myself a "typical" New Yorker--whatever that is. So you can imagine my surprise when, in the midst of a discussion on community stability and community services, I got told by someone--a "real" out of towner"--that I simply don't understand the dynamics of living out of town, that I'm too much of a New Yorker to "get" out of town living.
I laughed when she said that, but I admit to being just a tad worried afterward. Is it--gasp!--possible that I have somehow developed a New Yorker facade that is what the world sees? Has my out of town gene become diluted? I know I still sound like an out of towner, my accent never having adopted New York pronunciation. Ask me to say chocolate or orange or pauper or roof and you'd understand quickly that I'm not from here. And yes, I would have sworn that I don't think like a New Yorker.
But here's the problem. To New Yorkers I'm not a real New Yorker. And if, as this woman stated, I'm not a real out of towner, then just what am I and where do I "belong"? I'm beginning to feel rather Shakespearean--"neither fish nor fowl nor good red meat."
10 comments:
Of course, once you move to Vegas, you can ten re-define yourself as a 'former denizen of SI'!!
In the end, how others actually see us can be more signinficant than how we would like them to perceive us...
Anon613-London
26 years married to an oot and livng oot and they still ask me here what the NY viewpoint is about things. How should I know?! People see you how they want to see you. Has nothing to do with reality most of the times.
If it helps, you're own NY kids still think you are OOT...and not just because you don't know how to say chocolate :)
Of course, what do I know? Way back when at Prospect Park Yeshiva, the Staten Islanders got summoned to the OOT Student Gathering. Because that land across the Verrazano is scary, don't you know?
I think your offspring got the point right. You can't be a new yorker if you are living in staten island. You're some kind of hybrid oot when you live there. Now if you had moved to Brooklyn you might at this point be allowed to claim at least adopted new yorker status and your oot genes would have been removed. See, your confusion is all your own fault. Try living in Westchester if you want to see gene confusion.
So, how is one supposed to pronounce chocolate?
Anonymous,
You're supposed to pronounce chocolate any way that will get the store owner to recognize the substance and sell you some. However....
I'm from the Pacific Northwest. First, the word has three syllables, whereas in NY the word is pronounced as only two syllables. I pronounce the word as chahc-o-lit or as chah-co-lit. NY regional pronunciation is chawwk-lit or chawwk-let. Put another way, when New Yorkers pronounce the first syllable of the word their lips are pursed; when I pronounce it my lips are in a smile position.
And by the way New Yorkers, the state I come from is NOT ah-re-gone, it's or-ree-gun--OREGON.
As long as you don't manage to combine any complaint about a deficiancy with how things are better with regards to that particular problem in New York, you aren't really a New Yorker anyway.
Don't know if it will help you but I've been in your position more than once. We've lived in four different parts of the US over our marriage. In each one I was the stranger. When we arrived to our present home someone I will always think of with gratitude told me that I'm like the universal donor--I can fit in with anyone. I don't have to be exactly like everyone else, I just have to be me. If someone else has problems with that, well that's their problem, not mine.
Having known you for more then a few years I can tell you that you aren't a New Yorker. Having known lots of OOTs, and having lived oot, you are definitely an OOT. But there is this. you're exhibiting one New Yorker trait in this posting--assuming, as most New Yorkers do, that all oot is the same. There are many different types of OOTs--you are definetly one of the types. You may not have fit the type of oot that the woman was talking about, but I've seen lots of people like you elsewhere. Don't get bent out of shape--your oot genes are just fine.
New Jersians face the same discrimination - New Yorkers view us as not really one of them, but OOT's lump us in with the New York-y crowd.
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