A recent posting on Mother in Israel had her daughter listing some things she did not like about school/teachers. MII then offered the following (Correction--it was the daughter who wrote the following--ty MII for letting me know):
"If you are a teacher, please do not be offended, but see this post as advice for things you shouldn't be doing in the coming school year and may be the reason students don't like you."
Here's the thing--I'm not offended. What I am is perplexed. I have now been teaching for 42 years, with a few years off when my kids were very young. In all that time I have never looked at teaching as being a popularity contest. Foremost on my list of things that I want to accomplish with a class is not "get them to love you." What is foremost is "get them to love the subject, or at least learn it."
I think that most of my students would say that I am a friendly person; what I am not is their friend, at least not on the same level and with the same meaning as with the other people with whom they spend time and who they designate as friends. I actually have had/have such a relationship with a few students, but they are ex-students, not present ones. When I stand in front of a class I am the driver of the bus and "love" has nothing to do with my getting us to our designation.
In point of fact, and a few of my ex-students who drop in here could attest to this, I have a reputation in school for being tough as nails. Some students quake in their shoes at the thought of having to take my course. This has nothing to do with my personality or how "loveable" I am but a great deal to do with the way my classes are run, and my expectations for students. I don't hand out A's to all students. There is a lot of work in my classes and I expect students to do it all, and to do it when I require it to be done. I expect them to put in effort. I have never believed in the "spoon feeding" approach to teaching.I don't read the textbook to my students; that's their job. And yes, I record marks for the work given to me. Note "record." I do not give anything away for free. If you want an "A" in my class you have to get it the old fashioned way: you have to earn it. So yes, I imagine that some students may not "like" me, although they mostly end up learning what they need to learn anyway. And some students find themselves liking me even though they were sure they wouldn't. That's an added plus for them, but it doesn't head my to do list as a teacher.
There was another comment on that posting, a complaint about teachers who won't raise a 99 to a 100. Try going to a bank with $9.90 cents in change or even $9.99 in change and asking for a $10 bill in exchange. You won't get it. $9.99 is not $10 no matter how close that is.
If a teacher uses a method of teaching that causes his/her students to immediately turn off from the material being taught then a change is needed. If a teacher's personality is so grating that students cut class rather than come and learn, then a change is needed. But "How well do you like your teacher?" and the answer is not an indicator of how good a job that person is doing teaching. A teacher as friendly? Makes the job a bit easier. A teacher as your friend? Not a requirement.
Just a thought. Sometimes parents would be better off explaining to their children that school is a preparation for "real life." They won't always like everyone that they meet in the working world, but they still have to work with them and for them. Sometimes it is the children who will have to adjust and who will have to fit themselves to the expectations of their boss, not vice versa.
15 comments:
Great post!
She wrote that!! I warned her that teachers read my blog.
It seems you are the sort of colleague I'd like to have. Like you I don't expect my student to love me but to enjoy/appreciate/tolerate what I try to teach them. I also hope that the way I treat them will make them feel valuable and respected.
From the post on MII's blog, it seemed that DII actually doesn't want teachers to try to be her friend. Personally, I know that I preferred teachers who were friendly and approachable but not trying to be too chummy. Teachers that tried too hard to be "friends" irritated me, actually.
There was another comment on that posting, a complaint about teachers who won't raise a 99 to a 100. Try going to a bank with $9.90 cents in change or even $9.99 in change and asking for a $10 bill in exchange. You won't get it. $9.99 is not $10 no matter how close that is.
This comparison is always used and makes no sense.
For the bank to give you ten dollars would be causing the bank a loss of ten cents and a free gain of ten cents to the other party.
What is the loss to you of moving a 99 to 100 and what is the free "gain" obtained by the other party?
G,
That one is actually fairly simple to answer. When I give a student
"$10.00" who has not "deposited" $10.00 worth of effort into the account I am holding for him/her , I am illustrating that exactness does not matter, that a 99 and a 100 are exactly the same thing, which they are not, that someone "out there" will always be available to make things "perfect" for you. I have illustrated that I don't believe that any standards should be applied all of the time. I have planted the seed that it is not what you know but who you know that will get you the extra points in life. I have denigrated personal quest for "perfection" since "close" is the same as "perfect." I have lowered the value of the student who actually attained the 100, since others will assume that he/she is just another 99er who got bumped up. And if 99 is that close to 100, then why not say that 98 should also roll to 100? As one student once tried to persuade me, we round fractions of .5 up, so why shouldn't his 95 really be 100. And I have okayed for my students the idea that fibbing is okay if the fib is at least close to the truth. I'm showing my students that truth is flexible and that expediency trumps truth. And yes, I'm showing that I can be "bought," that I will manipulate the truth to make someone feel better or look better.
Instead of decrying the teacher who won't round a 99 up to a 100, we ought to be spending time teaching students how valuable a 99 is, how wonderful it is as a sign of achievement.
Who was decrying?
It was a simple question. Your comment does not answer it, but it does make what would have been valid original points.
I say again, relax.
G,
I am relaxed--I don't believe you have seen excited yet. I believe that my comment does answer your question of what is lost and what is gained. Self-respect is lost for the teacher and his/her being a model of the "right" and the "correct" gives the impression that correctness is flexible and relative, and what is gained by the student is the idea that close enough is the same as right on target--I believe that's only in horseshoes.
I agree about the friendly thing. You stay on your side of the desk, I'll stay on mine, and we'll be ok...
I don't like students who beg for their grade to be raised. It's whiny and immature. Accept your score and do better next time if you don't like it.
Plus, it puts at a disadvantage the students who don't whine.
Eh.
All true points...I just don't like the analogy.
Scraps is correct about what my daughter meant.
But I think Mii that it is more often the kids who want the teachers to be and act like their friends then that the kids complain that the teacher is trying to act like their friend. The kids do need to learn that teachers don't spend nights worrying about whether their students like them or how much they like them. At least I never worried about it and it sounds like the Prof and some of the commenters don't worry about it either. My job was teaching. I was never mean or nasty to the students but I was clearly in charge and we did things my way. That's why I was the teacher.
I took a few days to figure out how to say this so it doesn't come out wrong. The biggest shock to some of us in class was the fact that you really were very likeable, and funny too. We had all been equating the reputation of the work in your class to what kind of a person you were and we were all wrong. Or at least about you--the work earned its reputation.
Jake,
Thank you, I think.
Post a Comment