Chizuk is Where You Find It

Sometimes inspiration can be found in unexpected places.  Sometimes the push we need to go on and do what seems impossible but is wanted will come not from our family and friends, but from words penned by a stranger, who yet seems to know just what we are feeling or want to feel.  Yes indeed, chizuk is where you find it, and you can find it just about everywhere, if you are only open to seeing its presence.  Mention Joe Darion, and most people will look quite puzzled--who is Joe Darion?  However, mention the words "To Dream the Impossible Dream," with some appropriate humming, and almost everyone's face lights up.

If you are looking for some inspiration, read on, and thank you Joe!



Musical "Man of La Mancha"



The Impossible Dream Lyrics


[ from Best of Broadway - American Musical Soundtrack ]
Lyrics by Joe Darion


In this song, Quixote explains his quest and the reasons behind it ... in doing so,


he captures the essence of the play and its philosophical underpinnings.


(For me, it is absolutely magical.)






To dream ... the impossible dream ...


To fight ... the unbeatable foe ...


To bear ... with unbearable sorrow ...


To run ... where the brave dare not go ...


To right ... the unrightable wrong ...


To love ... pure and chaste from afar ...


To try ... when your arms are too weary ...


To reach ... the unreachable star ...






This is my quest, to follow that star ...


No matter how hopeless, no matter how far ...


To fight for the right, without question or pause ...


To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause ...






And I know if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest,


That my heart will lie will lie peaceful and calm,


when I'm laid to my rest ...


And the world will be better for this:


That one man, scorned and covered with scars,


Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,


To reach ... the unreachable star ...

It isn't all Alzheimer's

I have yet to speak with anyone who seriously has decided that they want to die at 40 or so to avoid the trials and tribulations of older age.  That being so, there are some things we should know about so we can avoid some of those trials and tribulations.  Whether you are yourself already a bit older or are in the position of having family members who are, the following link has some information that is useful.  We've long known that good eating habits and good general habits can benefit us.  The article tells you why and more.

http://www.jewishworldreview.com/0512/prevent_vascular_dementia.php3

Securing your Phone

Once upon a time saying "secure phone" brought to mind government agencies and black ops.  Today, however, we are all in need of that secure phone.  Identity theft is all too real and all too common, as is cyber theft and phone theft.  For some good tips go to

http://jewishworldreview.com/0512/lost_phone_protect_identity.php3

English and Angst

I will grant you that in most situations where someone says something that upsets you or makes you anxious, it is the specific words that bring on the negative feelings.  But generally we are reacting to nouns and adjectives and the occasional verb.  I had an experience last week where the anxiety producing words had to do with the idea of tense and number agreement.

We are sometimes very casual when we speak to others, and there are some singular versus plural areas where this is fairly common.  For the most part any confusion of the singular and the plural doesn't really cause negative feelings.  Last week, however, a cop's not watching out for correct English usage gave me a lot of anxiety and a whopper of a headache.

I drove from SI to Long Island to visit my mother.  About a mile from her house I noticed a police car with flashing lights in my rearview mirror.  At first I thought he wanted to pass me, so I pulled over to the side to give him the room to do so.  Then he pulled in right behind me.  I couldn't figure out what I had done, as I wasn't speeding and I hadn't run a red light.  I rolled down the window and turned off the car.  One officer went to stand by the passenger side of the car and one came over to the open window.  I asked what the problem was.  The answer was "Your brake lights aren't working." He asked me to turn the car on again, he went to the back of the car to check, and then came back to the window.  "Yup, you've got a brake light problem.  You need to get them fixed."  Luckily I did not get a ticket.

I managed to get to my mom's without a meltdown, but on the way home I needed to stop at school for a bit.  I was nervous the entire way to Brooklyn.  What if I got stopped by a cop again?  What if I had to stop suddenly and the car behind me couldn't  see that I was stopping and rammed into me?  Traffic on the Belt Parkway heading towards SI was heavy, with lots of cars weaving in and out of the lanes, and I was not a happy camper.

SI was even worse.  Due to massive construction on the SI Expressway, lanes went from 4 to 1 to 2 to 1 to 3 lanes open the entire way to my exit.  When I got off the Expressway I was truly frazzled.  I made my careful way down to my mechanic and told him that I had no brake lights.  Two minutes later he called me over to take a look.  He had turned on my car and this is what I saw--the car has a brake light on both the right side and the left side above the bumper and also has a rectangular brake light located at the bottom of the rear window.  The left light and the window light were fine--only the right light was not lit.  Frazzled got replaced by angry. 

When the policeman used the plural terms "lights" and "them," I understood that to mean that more than one light was not working.  In fact, because he did not specify that one light was not working, I was correct in assuming that NO lights were working.

Had correct English been used, I could have been saved the frustration and anxiety of that trip home.  So yes, English counts, and correct English counts even more.

When Physics Doesn't Apply

Sorry about the hit or miss nature of the postings recently, but I am going to blame it all on Physics.  A basic tenet of Physics is that two items cannot occupy the same space at the same time.  Extrapolating from that certainly five items cannot occupy the same space at the same time.  Now technically you should be able to reverse this tenet and have it hold true--one item cannot occupy two spaces at the same time.  Certainly one object cannot occupy 5 spaces at the same time. Sigh, right.

Real life doesn't apparently work according to the tenets of Physics.  I'm not alone in this, but I am frequently required to do the impossible--be in more than one place at the same time, doing two or more things at the same time.  It's been one of those weeks where no matter where I am or what I'm doing, I'm supposed to be somewhere else as well, doing something else.

We've got that modern term--multi-tasking--and it definitely defies the tenets of Physics.  Weeks like this one I find myself dreaming of a lot simpler world.  Ah well, no more time alloted for complaining or contemplation--I've got 3 places to be right now, and here is not one of them.

Cleaning and History

My first cousin made an announcement to me yesterday that really shook me up.  Our fathers did almost no talking about their experiences during the war nor about what happened to the rest of their family. Outside of the names of all of their siblings and the names of their parents (kind of obvious since some of us are named for them) we had very little information about the family.

Both my father and her father are no longer living, and her mother is also not living.  In cleaning out her parents' apartment, my cousin found a document, written in Yiddish, which gave the full names of our grandparents, the full names of their parents and, amazingly, the place and Hebrew date of their petirah.  All these years we kids had no idea of when the yahrtzeit was for these grandparents, thus having no idea of when to have kaddish said.  Many have the custom of giving kiddush on a yahrtzeit in memory and honor of the departed, something we could never do before.

The yahrtzeit is this upcoming Friday in the Jewish calendar and strange as it may sound, I'm excited that I can now honor these grandparents in a traditional way.  A yahrtzeit candle lit for the actual day of death, the saying of kadish, a shalosh seudos sponsored in their memory, so that people can say "May the neshomos have an aliyah."

All this family connection because someone decided to do some cleaning up. Let's hear it for cleaning!

Some Inspiration to get Up and get Doing

It seems like a lot of people have good ideas about how to solve some of Klal's problems, but those good ideas get buried and never are acted upon.  Forthwith some advice about success written by no less than Benjamin Franklin.

Benjamin Franklin was a man of action. Over his lifetime, his curiosity and passion fueled a diverse range of interests. He was a writer (often using a pseudonym), publisher, diplomat, inventor and one of the Founding Fathers of the United States.

His inventions included the lightning rod, bifocals and the Franklin stove. Franklin was responsible for establishing the first public library, organizing fire fighters in Philadelphia, was one of the early supporters of mutual insurance and crossed the Atlantic eight times. Self-development was a constant endeavor throughout his incredible life.

Benjamin Franklin was clearly a man who knew how to get things done.

Here are 14 action-inducing lessons from him: 

• Less Talk, More Action
  
  “Well done is better than well said.”
  Talk is cheap. Talking about a project won't get it completed. We all know people who constantly talk about the things they are going to do but rarely ever take that first step. Eventually people begin to question their credibility. Taking action and seeing the task through to completion is the only way to get the job done.

• Don’t Procrastinate
  
  “Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.”
  This is probably one of the first quotes I remember hearing as a teenager. With an impressive list of achievements to his credit, Benjamin Franklin was not a man hung up on procrastination. He was a man with clear measurable goals who worked hard to turn his vision into reality. What are you putting off till tomorrow that could make a difference in your life today?

• Be Prepared
  
  “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”
  You need a plan to accomplish your goals. Charging in without giving any thought to the end result and how to achieve it, is a sure way to fall flat on your face. Think like a boy scout. Have a realistic plan of attack and a systematic approach for getting where you need to be.

• Don’t Fight Change
  
  “When you're finished changing, you're finished.”
  Whilst many of us don’t like change, others thrive on it. Either way change is inevitable. The stronger we fight against it, the more time and energy it consumes. Give up the fight. Focus on proactively making positive changes, instead of having change merely thrust upon you. Wherever possible, try to view change as a positive instead of a negative.

• Get Moving
  
  “All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move.”
  There’s a reason we use the expression, movers and shakers. Movers are the ones who take action, the people who get things done, while the immovable are sitting around scratching their heads wondering how others could possibly be so successful. Which group do you want to belong to?

• Avoid Busywork
  
  “Never confuse motion with action.”
  We are always running around doing things. We rush from one meeting or event to the next, sometimes without achieving a great deal. At the end of the day, how much of our busywork are we proud of? How much of that running around improves anyone’s life (including ours) for the better? Make your motion mean something.

• Give Yourself Permission to Make Mistakes
  
  “Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.”
  If we fear making mistakes, we become scared to try new things. Fear leaves us nestled in our comfort zone. Staying in your comfort zone rarely leads to greatness. Taking risks and giving yourself permission to make mistakes, will ultimately lead you to whatever your version of success may be.

• Act Quickly on Opportunities
  
  “To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions.”
  Opportunities are everywhere. The trick is being quick enough and smart enough to seize them when they arise. Instead of jumping to the conclusion that something won’t work or can’t be done, allow yourself the freedom to ask what if?

• Continue to Grow
  
  “Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.”
  We all have vices of some description. The key is to keep them under control or preferably eradicate them entirely. Be kind to those around you, whether they are neighbors, family, co-workers or friends. Never accept that you have finished growing as a person.

• Keep Going
  
  “Diligence is the mother of good luck.”
  Have you ever looked at a successful entrepreneur or business person and thought how lucky they are? Most of the time, luck has nothing to do with it. Hard work and sacrifice on the other hand have everything to do with it. Successful people deal with failure. They tackle their demons head on. They pick themselves up and keep going.

• Know Yourself
  
  “There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self.”
  Understanding ourselves is not easy. Sometimes we just don’t want to see ourselves for who we really are. It’s much easier to hold onto a romanticized version of ourselves or to simply view ourselves through other people’s eyes. Start by being brutally honest with yourself. Follow through with understanding, compassion and acceptance.

• Don’t Self-Sabotage
  
  “Who had deceived thee so often as thyself?”
  We spend so much time worrying about other people hurting us, yet fail to comprehend the damage we inflict on ourselves. If you are using negative self-talk, lying to yourself or indulging in addictive behavior you are self-sabotaging. Life can dish up enough challenges without us adding to the mix. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself like you would a best friend.

• Don’t Give Up
  
  “Energy and persistence conquer all things.”
  Achieving our goals can be downright exhausting. There will be days when you want to give up. There will be times when your energy levels flatline and you wonder why you bother getting out of bed. Yet you push forward, day after day because you believe in yourself and you have the determination and strength to back up that belief.

• Wise Up
  
  “Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.”
  Benjamin was definitely onto something with this one. Who hasn’t had the thought - I wish I could know then, what I know now? Unfortunately there is no time machine; there is no going back. The key is to wise up as early as you can to start forging a life of purpose, achievement and happiness.