All Roads Lead to Rome

The New York Metropolitan area has a plethora of transportation choices available for those who are trying to get here. There are three major airports in the area and 4 smaller ones as well. There are multiple train stations. There are any number of subway lines. There are buses galore, both local and express, both public and private. There are public livery cabs and private car services. There are cars and vans. There are motorbikes and regular bikes. There are skateboards and rollerskates. And there are two feet, people powered. Anyone who wants to come to NY can make it here.

Now granted, the various systems sometimes get clogged with traffic. Sometimes one choice of transportation may suffer delays. Sometimes one form of transport may break down or have an accident. Sometimes traffic bogs down. Sometimes a storm can blow and snarl things for a while. But a smart person understands that such glitches can and do happen. A smart person says "If not this way, then another way." A smart person does not remain on a clogged traffic artery, inching along with no end in sight. A smart person gets off at the next exit and finds an alternate route to NY. Because, you see, it is not HOW you get to NY that is as important as THAT you get to NY.

Now think marriage instead of NY. Everything said about getting to NY applies to getting married as well. Sometimes we try one route and get bogged down. Time to try another route, a different approach. Sometimes we are so stuck on our mode of transportation that we forget just where it is that we are going. And sometimes we are so fixated on arriving in Brooklyn that we forget that the City is made up of five Boroughs and lots of suburbs, that Metropolitan New York is far vaster then we think.

People in shidduchim need to look at a map with greater clarity. They need to see that there is not necessarily one approach, only one road to take, only one means of transportation. They need to broaden their outlook when it comes to how to get "there." Because you see, all roads lead to Rome, all of them. Unless you really enjoy sitting in stalled traffic, try a different route. You're all going to arrive here, some a little sooner, some a little later, but you'll all get here. Bon Voyage!

The YU Seforim Sale

As a public service I remind readers that the YU seforim sale has begun. Information can be gotten at the following url:

http://www.soyseforim.org/

New Ban on Shidduch Dating on Super Bowl Sunday

My friend Miriam called me this morning rather upset. She had set up a young lady from the Boston area with a boy from New York. The girl was going to be in NYC this past Shabbos so it made perfect sense to Miriam to set up a date for Sunday (her first mistake).

The girl can't tell the difference between a football and a matzah ball but "her" team was playing yesterday. The boy took her to a lounge, a lounge which had set up a wide screen television so that the patrons wouldn't miss the game. And, gasp, the girl spent the evening rooting for the Patriots, while the boy was a Giants all the way fan.

This morning both the girl and the boy said no to another date. Mentioned was the unbridled enthusiasm in backing the wrong team.

Is this what we have come down to? Football teams as a deciding factor in shidduch making? Please tell me it just aint so!

The Latest Poll--Hair Coverings

The brouhaha over the wig store in Flatbush vs. Yeshiva Chaim Berlin has an element that goes beyond the factual matters of the case. Many commenters across the blogosphere have expressed highly negative opinions about the sheitles and falls worn by married women to cover their hair. There have been calls to ban sheitles outright. Some commenters have come out in favor of the sheitles.

Which is it for you--ban the sheitles or allow them? Please scroll down and vote below.

All Hail February

I am not the only one who seems to have an affinity for a particular month. The secular calendar is chock full of special appreciation days and weeks for February. Keep in mind that Congress, state legislatures and city councils have to actually declare these days and weeks as "official." What follows highlights your tax dollars at work.

Monthly Observances:
Bake for Family Fun Month
Library Lovers Month
Plant the Seeds of Greatness Month
National Get to Know an Independent Real Estate Broker Month
Spunky Old Broads Month
Sweet Potato Month
National Laugh-Friendly Month

Weekly Observances:
National Pancake Week
National Jell-O Week
International Flirting Week
Just Say No to Powerpoints Week
Random Acts of Kindness Week
Telecommuter Appreciation Week
Texas Cowboy Poetry Week
Dump Your Significant Jerk Week

Day Observances:
Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day
Man Day
Laugh and Get Rich Day
White Shirt Day--Feb. 11 (Look, a Jewish holiday we didn't even know we had)
Get a Different Name Day
National Call in Single Day
World Marriage Day
National Gum Drop Day
Northern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day
Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day
National Open that Bottle Night
National For Pete's Sake Day
Inconvenience Yourself Day
National Tooth Fairy Day

If you're looking for an excuse to get out of work, you could always try one of the above. Just be prepared for some awfully strange looks.

Groundhog Predictions

Once again the groundhogs of America faced off to see whose predictions of forthcoming weather will reign supreme. Anyone else see the humor in the way the answers get phrased? If the groundhog sees his shadow then we have 6 more weeks of winter. If the groundhog does not see his shadow then spring is coming in 6 weeks. It doesn't matter what the groundhog sees--in six weeks we will have no more winter. The Farmer's Almanac could tell you that without all the posturing.

Groundhogs as climatologists--go figure. Of course, they can't really do any worse then those highly degreed weather forecasters who announce to the NYC environs that "precipitation is a possibility today" as the entire city is drowning under a deluge of rain. They might try looking out their windows, just as the groundhogs do.

At Last, Adar is Coming!

Some people think it kind of strange that I can have an affinity for a particular month out of the calendar year. They understand liking warm weather better than cold. They understand perhaps liking summer more than winter. They admittedly look puzzled when I start getting euphoric that Adar is arriving. Why single out a month?

It's not just me--mine is an "Adar" family all the way around. My parents were married on Shushan Purim. All of us children were married in Adar; some of my husband's siblings and cousins also. Some grandchildren and nieces and nephews as well. Our first child was born in Adar. And yes, on the other end of the spectrum, there are major yahrzeits in the family in Adar as well. And then there is Purim.

I make an effort for each and every yom tov in the calendar. No yom tov gets less than effort and kavod. But Purim, ahh Purim. Purim "sings" to me, as Adar "sings" to me as well. And to be blessed with a year with two Adars? Marvelous. What's not to like about a yom tov where you wish people a "freilachen yom tov," the only time we do so in our calendar?

I'm not a kvetch the rest of the year, but I don't stop smiling during Adar. And I pretty much don't let anyone else rain on my parade during Adar either. So fair warning: I'm liable to be chipper and upbeat for the next few months. I'm liable to think the world is a wonderful place to reside in. I'm liable to see the glass as half full, not half empty. I'm quite likely to break into song with no provocation at all. Burdens get remarkably lighter during Adar. Problems don't disappear, but possibilities peep out that weren't visible before.

We're starting out Adar with a wedding in the family. But of course: Adar and simcha are a fine combination. A new couple that is just starting out and my husband and I celebrating 36 years of married bliss. What's not to like about Adar?