Working on Overload

I once put up a posting in which I set forth the idea that we all go not by one name or even two names but by many names. Each of the names we bear delineates some kind of person-to-person relationship and/or responsibility. The more complex the world that we live in becomes, the more names that we are likely to bear. And the more names that we bear, the more likely that someone will be calling out those names on a regular basis.

Some of those names come with fairly clearly defined parameters of responsibility; others are hazier as to what is "owed" to those names and those who call us by them at any given time. Some of the responsibilities attached to those names may conflict with other responsibilities attached to other of our names, particularly if we try to respond to the multiple callers at the same time.

There are times (and they are becoming more and more frequent as our lives become more and more complex) when we all might qualify for the psychiatric designation of "split personality." What is required of us in answering to all those names that we are juggling in the air can sometimes get overwhelming, and we drop a ball or some of the balls or all of the balls.

If you're still wondering where I'm going with this, let me set out some of those names that are causing overload for many a person. We have our given birth names. We have the nicknames we are called by those who love us and those who don't. We may have different school names. We are daughters and sons, granddaughters and grandsons, and we are parents and grandparents. We are oldest child or middle child or youngest child and we are brothers and sisters. We are nieces and nephews and great nieces and nephews and we are aunts and uncles. We are cousins. We are neighbors, best friends, close friends, friends and acquaintances. We are employees and bosses, coordinators and supervisors and managers. We are students and we are teachers, in many different situations in addition to formalized schooling. We are clients and customers. We are correspondents and commentators. We are initiators and leaders as well as being followers. We are congregants and believers in a religious sense. We are citizens. We are members of diverse groups, each with its own set of obligations. And somewhere in all of this we are also individuals, uniquely constituted beings with sometimes idiosyncratic expectations of what we should be doing or not doing, what we want to be doing or not doing, what we can be doing or not doing.

Anyone who is married can attest to the sometimes conflicts that can arise when we carry the name spouse at the same time that we carry the name parent. Your child/children need/want something at the same time that your spouse wants/needs something else--to which name do you answer first, and to what extent? And when you are a son/daughter and a parent wants/needs something at the same time that your children/spouse want/need something--to which name do you answer and to what extent? Now add in that all those other people who call you different names want/need something also at this same moment. And just where do you figure in what you, as an individual, need/want when that need/want is in a long line of needs/wants by other people?

I'm not offering any easy answers to the questions I raised, because I don't believe there are any easy answers. The longer we live, the more we add to the litany of names we are called, not subtract. I'm having one of those summers where it seems like every name I've ever acquired is being called out, with the expectation that I will respond and respond immediately. Yeah, I've dropped a few of the balls I'm juggling, and I've paid for that. But what choices do we really have? We keep going, full of the hope that all the balls will stay in the air until we can finally say "juggling time is over for now."

And I wonder if I will ever again in the near and foreseeable future find myself able to sing the words of a favorite Simon and Garfunkle tune: "Hello silence my old friend, I've come to talk to you again."

A Shared Summer #4

There are a lot of sources "out there" which deal with economic matters of all types. Many deal with budgeting--the how and why. Many deal with investing--how, when, where and why. Many deal with savings--how much, when, where and why. However, not all sources are up to date, taking into account the many factors which can and have changed. Many are opinions that may or may not work as a general rule for the majority of people. Yes, a whole lot of the advice out there is good, bad or or unintelligible to the general public.

So, what sources have you found that are reliable as to facts given, are practical as to advice given and are fairly easily decipherable for an audience not comprised of PhDs in finance? Please leave your choices in the comments section.

Better Safe Than Sorry

Any number of items will be mentioned if you go to a site that talks about necessary items to be included when you are considering home repair or remodeling. Certainly safety is at the forefront on the lists, items such as smoke and gas detectors, adequate lighting over stairways, updated gas and electricity delivery systems in older homes, etc.. What I'm recommending is an item that is not so frequently mentioned but that should be: a home safe.

Squirreled away in hidey-holes all over our houses are any number of items having importance to us but that need to be kept safely put away when not in use. Good jewelry comes to mind, as does "emergency" cash. So do passports and birth certificates and copies of wills. So do lists of passwords and pin numbers and ID numbers for any number and type of account we might have, online as well as in the physical world. I'm sure you can fill in with other items you view in this way. The longer you live, the more of these hidey-holes that may be present.

Instead of those hidey-holes I'm recommending the purchase of a home safe--not a free-standing one, but one that is securely fastened into a wall or floor. Obviously, the safe should be someplace that is not openly visible but that is accessible to those who are supposed to know where it is. Let's face it--we are all of us collectors, although what we collect and need to keep safe may differ. Between the mattresses just doesn't cut it any longer--it's the first place someone breaking into your home would look. I'm sure you can think of all the other places people use to stash things--and so can thieves.

The cost of these safes is not prohibitive and will allow you to truly be safe, not just feel unjustifiably safe, such as when you use those hidey-holes. If you are considering a home purchase now, make it one that will pay for itself in real peace of mind--better safe than sorry.

Reason 43,569,843,507,662,198

Despite the gray hairs and the denigration that sometimes comes our way, English teachers plod on, knowing that somewhere, some time, some how we will break through and influence our students. And why should we need to do so? Because when we get messages such as the one that follows here, we rise to save the world from mis/dis-information.

Received this morning from a company whose technician is scheduled to come to my house:

"Your technician will arrive today at 5:00 pm, between 11:00 and 2:00."

A Shared Summer #3

When I think shopping, I think books. The price of books, both hardcovers and softcovers, can get quite expensive. So, let's share some sources we've found for getting those books, and perhaps getting those books cheaper than suggested retail price. Please leave your suggestions--both for online and for "real"--in the comments section.

Let me start off with a suggestion to look at alibris.com I've been using this site for many years and have yet to have a problem with any merchandise ordered. The site is easy to navigate and it sometimes offers some really incredible bargains. Use it once and the site will also send you notices good for further discounts/reduced-free shipping etc..

So readers, your suggestions?

Refuah Shelaimoh

My mother is having surgery this morning. For those who would add her into their tefilos today, the name is Feiga bas Leah.

A Shared Summer #2

Those out there who like to bake are frequently on the lookout for new sources for recipes and baking tips and hints. Let's face it--cookbooks are more often than not very expensive to purchase. Add in that, unless and until you've gone through the book page by page, recipe by recipe, you don't really know how much of a particular cookbook you will actually end up using. Spend $30-40 on a cookbook containing recipes for 50 different baked goods, and assume you will make all 50 recipes, and you are initially spending about 80 cents per baking recipe. But most people do NOT make every recipe in a cookbook; in fact, they make relatively few of the recipes. Let's say you only try 1-10 of those recipes. Now the price per recipe is way higher--anywhere from $4 to $40 per recipe.

So, what cookbooks that are out there, whether kosher or not, have you found particularly useful? Why? Is it the illustrations, is it well-written instructions, is it the general hints and tips that make it useful? Please post your choices in the comments.

Now to online sources for bakers. There are certainly many sources available online. One that I find particularly useful--and gorgeous to view--is baking911.com. There are hundreds of free pages to browse through. In addition, a premium membership to the site costs $19.95 per year and gives you access to thousands of recipes--fully illustrated--as well as individual help and baking forums. For instance, ever wonder just how much frosting you need in order to correctly and evenly frost various sizes and types of baked goods? The free pages have a chart that gives you the amounts for virtually any kind of baked goods you could consider frosting. And referencing that recipe to cookbook cost I gave above, $20 gets you 2000+ recipes. This is far more recipes for far less money than you will find with a conventional cookbook. It's a great site to browse through even if you're not considering joining it. Again, take a trip over to
baking911.com

Any other online sources you'd like to share with us? Again, please put those sources--and your reasons--into the comments section.

Bon appetit!