Thanks to one of my commenters for reminding me that horse racing and shidduchim are closely related.
The world of thoroughbred horse racing has as an integral component the bloodlines of the horses being raced. In-depth studies are done on the dam and sire going back generations. It is reasoned that good bloodlines will produce horses with the "right stuff." Sometimes this is true. Sometimes this is only partially true. And sometimes this is not true at all. Who your grandfather was may have had affect on his life, but it cannot predict what your life will be like. How your grandmother acted said something about her, but may say nothing about you. Wagering money on how well someone conforms to their bloodlines may well be money down the toilet.
In addition to bloodlines, horse racing aficionados look at the stable a horse comes out of. It is reasoned that certain stables produce "winners" more than other stables. There must be something about their methods, about their trainers, that works well. And it is true that some stables do have more than their fair share of winning horses coming out of them. And yes, some trainers are better then others. But stables have plenty of "duds" in them. They don't like talking about those "duds" but they are there nonetheless. So, betting on a stable as the sole criteria may well be money down the toilet.
Then there are the jockeys who ride the horses. They are the horses' "best friends." They know their horses better then anyone. They are privy to all the little quirks and individual qualities of the horse they are riding. Yup, some jockeys are seen as better then other jockeys. But even a good jockey can have a bad day with a horse. And sometimes a bad jockey can have a good day with a horse. Knowing who the jockey is is no guarantee that the horse will be a winner. Judging a horse by its jockey can be a big error. Betting on a jockey can well be money down the toilet.
Then there are the tracks where the horses run. Some racing tracks are seen as better then others. The running field is given better upkeep. The track is maintained better. The spectators seats are more comfortable. The line of vision is clearer. But sometimes good horses do not do well on a good track. And sometimes good horses do well on a poor track. And sometimes bad horses do well on a bad track. Betting money on a horse solely because of the track where they are running may be money down the toilet.
There is also the length of the running track. Not all tracks are the same distance. How long the track is can affect the performance of the horses running. Some horses do better on a shorter track. Some horses do better on a longer track, needing the greater distance to show off their capabilities. The length of the track and the horses stamina need to be coordinated. Some horses are sprinters--they come out of the starting gate at full speed. Some horses need to build up steam. Sprinters do better on a shorter track. Slow starters do better on a longer track. Betting on a horse solely based on the length of the running track may be money down the toilet.
And then there is the horse's will. Some horses are eager to race. They are competitive. They smell the other horses and their competitive mode sets in. Some horses want to be out ahead of the others so badly that they will run even when injured--winning is everything. Some horses are content to stay as part of the pack. Some horses seem to have no interest in the activity they are participating in. They run the race on their own time schedule, not the other horses' schedule. Sometimes they balk and will refuse to run at all. They just aren't interested. Some horses have good days and off days and there is no way to know when those days will happen. How these horses perform will be based on how they "feel" on any given day. Betting on a horse based solely on a horse's will may be money down the toilet.
There is a reason that betting on the horses is called betting. It is because there is no sure thing, despite all the time and effort and money that goes into "guaranteeing" winners. Yes, looking at a horse's record may be a fairly good indicator of what he might do. The key is "might." On any given day, any given horse can have a moment of brilliance. Bettors who wager money solely on past performance may see their money go down the toilet.
I'll refrain from talking about the capabilities of stallions at stud and the qualities of brood mares. I'll refrain from talking about the horse that looks just like a perfect horse should look but can't perform to save its life--the "perfect" insides are missing.
Obvious, isn't it, how horse racing and shidduchim are quite similar?
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Fire Safety and Chanukah
Staten Island University Hospital is a regional burn center. Unfortunately it sees a large number of frum Jews being brought in on an emergency basis.
Please, it is Chanukah tonight, and to have a really frailechan Chanukah just give a thought ahead of time to the following:
Don't leave any burning candles unattended, particularly if there are younger children in the house. Kids have a fascination with flames, and it's a bad combination. If need be, place chairs, seats facing the menorahs, to block access to the lit menorahs. Don't place menorahs anywhere near any flammable substances, such as curtains or shades. Make sure all menorahs are placed on a steady surface. Even the flickering of one lit candle can cause enough motion to tip over an unsteady menorah. Place menorahs somewhere where people do not have to walk by them in close quarters. An item of clothing brushing up against a menorah can topple it or set clothing on fire. If you get oil on your fingers or hand while filling a menorah, be sure and wash your hands before kindling the lecht.
If,c'v, a fire should start on or around the menorah, do not use water to try and extinguish it. Hot oil will literally climb up a stream of water and burn the hand pouring the water. Extinguish oil fires by covering the fire completely with a non flammable item, such as a pot.
A little care and forethought and you can have a freilachen Chanukah that is also a safe one.
Please, it is Chanukah tonight, and to have a really frailechan Chanukah just give a thought ahead of time to the following:
Don't leave any burning candles unattended, particularly if there are younger children in the house. Kids have a fascination with flames, and it's a bad combination. If need be, place chairs, seats facing the menorahs, to block access to the lit menorahs. Don't place menorahs anywhere near any flammable substances, such as curtains or shades. Make sure all menorahs are placed on a steady surface. Even the flickering of one lit candle can cause enough motion to tip over an unsteady menorah. Place menorahs somewhere where people do not have to walk by them in close quarters. An item of clothing brushing up against a menorah can topple it or set clothing on fire. If you get oil on your fingers or hand while filling a menorah, be sure and wash your hands before kindling the lecht.
If,c'v, a fire should start on or around the menorah, do not use water to try and extinguish it. Hot oil will literally climb up a stream of water and burn the hand pouring the water. Extinguish oil fires by covering the fire completely with a non flammable item, such as a pot.
A little care and forethought and you can have a freilachen Chanukah that is also a safe one.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Ooops
Sorry, but I have somehow screwed up the comments allowed on the Games of Chance Part #2. Anyone wanting to leave a comment please do so here.
Games of Chance--Part #2
Some people claim that when they play games of chance they do so only after they have logically analyzed all the odds and appraised their chances of winning at any particular game. They are truly the minority. Most people "play with their eyes" not with their brains.
Casino floors are filled with a huge array of colorful machines, all designed and positioned to be attractive to those who come to play them. Yet, not all machines are the same.
Some offer an assortment of "bells and whistles" to attract players. There are catchy musical compositions playing. There are "cute" cartoonish characters prominently displayed. There are multiple bonus games advertised. These machines scream "fun, fun, fun!" loud and clear. And obviously some players hear the message. They are drawn to the machines by the outside trappings.
Some machines cash in on popular cultural phenomena, such as daytime television shows or first-run movies. You may not have starred in the Batman movies, but you can "star" on the Batman slot machine. Players are, in a sense, pre-programmed through prior exposure to find these machines attractive. This is what society values so you value it too.
Some machines are starkly simple in their presentation. These machines say "serious business." Whereas some players would avoid the "bells and whistles" machines as being an obvious ploy to attract, they see the "plainer" machines as being a more solid "investment" for their money. There are fewer players drawn to these machines then to the more vividly presented ones, and yet the results are the same.
Some machines attract because they "only" cost a penny; others attract because they cost $1, so are clearly a "better" bet. The reasoning is that things in the outside world that cost $1 are "better" then things that only cost one cent.
In the end, however, all slot machines have one thing in common: they are designed so that the casino will make money and the gamblers probably won't. Occasionally a bettor will score a big win; most do not. and the wins are purely accidental. The rules that govern these machines are not slanted in favor of the player.
At first players are excited about the machines; they truly believe they are going to win. A few seats away from them someone suddenly yells and the sound of $50 dropping into the tray is heard. Wow! everyone around them goes, and they go back to their own machines with renewed effort. "That person is no different from me," they think. They win $5, but $5 is not enough when there is the possibility of $10,000 there. So the $5 gets put back into the machine. Two hours later they get up in disgust, having lost $100. And yet they don't blame the casino system--the machine was cold, or it was the wrong time, or they are not wearing their lucky t-shirt, or they didn't push the buttons just right. And despite their disgust for now, they will be back again in a few hours.
Sometimes the players decide that they have been playing the wrong type of machine, or the wrong monetary denomination. They walk around the floor of the casino, find a "better" type of machine, and in goes the money once again.
Despite their losses, these players continue to play slot machines. They develop elaborate systems of rules and regulations to guarantee themselves a big win. If one type of slot machine isn't good for them they simply change to another type. They never consider that maybe, just maybe, it is slot machines as a whole that are the problem. If everyone else is playing slot machines, then they, too, will play slot machines. It doesn't matter if they are bored, it doesn't matter if they get angry at all the money spent with nothing to show for it, it doesn't matter if they think the whole thing is a waste of time. They came to the casino to win and they are going to win or die trying.
What do slot machines have to do with shidduchim? Slot machines are designed so that players don't have to do much thinking, if any. All they have to do is sit down, put in their money, and push the buttons. If they follow the rules posted on the machines then they have a chance at a win. Some people in shidduchim are "playing" by slot machine rules.
Shidduchim shouldn't be about luck--they should be about brains. There cannot possibly be one set of "rules and regulations" that will fit everyone who is looking for a spouse. If you can't find what you are looking for when "playing" one kind of "slot machine" the answer is not to find another type of machine;their outside appearances may differ somewhat, but they are all the same on the inside. The answer is to stop looking at slot machines. There are lots of ways in the world to come out a "big winner." Persisting with one way in which you have had no success, despite the "odds" against your winning, is to throw your "money" down a hole.
And yet, casinos are full of people playing slot machines, and our communities are full of people "playing" the shidduch game. Both are following all the rules; both are sure they will come out a big winner; both will not "settle" for a "mere" win of $50 or $100 or $125 dollars when they "know" that tomorrow that $10,000 will easily slide into their pockets. Both refuse to recognize that they may be "playing" the wrong "game." It is the few, the very few, who eyeball the "machines" and say "enough!" When the rules are set up not in your favor it's time to either change the rules or move on to a different "game."
Casino floors are filled with a huge array of colorful machines, all designed and positioned to be attractive to those who come to play them. Yet, not all machines are the same.
Some offer an assortment of "bells and whistles" to attract players. There are catchy musical compositions playing. There are "cute" cartoonish characters prominently displayed. There are multiple bonus games advertised. These machines scream "fun, fun, fun!" loud and clear. And obviously some players hear the message. They are drawn to the machines by the outside trappings.
Some machines cash in on popular cultural phenomena, such as daytime television shows or first-run movies. You may not have starred in the Batman movies, but you can "star" on the Batman slot machine. Players are, in a sense, pre-programmed through prior exposure to find these machines attractive. This is what society values so you value it too.
Some machines are starkly simple in their presentation. These machines say "serious business." Whereas some players would avoid the "bells and whistles" machines as being an obvious ploy to attract, they see the "plainer" machines as being a more solid "investment" for their money. There are fewer players drawn to these machines then to the more vividly presented ones, and yet the results are the same.
Some machines attract because they "only" cost a penny; others attract because they cost $1, so are clearly a "better" bet. The reasoning is that things in the outside world that cost $1 are "better" then things that only cost one cent.
In the end, however, all slot machines have one thing in common: they are designed so that the casino will make money and the gamblers probably won't. Occasionally a bettor will score a big win; most do not. and the wins are purely accidental. The rules that govern these machines are not slanted in favor of the player.
At first players are excited about the machines; they truly believe they are going to win. A few seats away from them someone suddenly yells and the sound of $50 dropping into the tray is heard. Wow! everyone around them goes, and they go back to their own machines with renewed effort. "That person is no different from me," they think. They win $5, but $5 is not enough when there is the possibility of $10,000 there. So the $5 gets put back into the machine. Two hours later they get up in disgust, having lost $100. And yet they don't blame the casino system--the machine was cold, or it was the wrong time, or they are not wearing their lucky t-shirt, or they didn't push the buttons just right. And despite their disgust for now, they will be back again in a few hours.
Sometimes the players decide that they have been playing the wrong type of machine, or the wrong monetary denomination. They walk around the floor of the casino, find a "better" type of machine, and in goes the money once again.
Despite their losses, these players continue to play slot machines. They develop elaborate systems of rules and regulations to guarantee themselves a big win. If one type of slot machine isn't good for them they simply change to another type. They never consider that maybe, just maybe, it is slot machines as a whole that are the problem. If everyone else is playing slot machines, then they, too, will play slot machines. It doesn't matter if they are bored, it doesn't matter if they get angry at all the money spent with nothing to show for it, it doesn't matter if they think the whole thing is a waste of time. They came to the casino to win and they are going to win or die trying.
What do slot machines have to do with shidduchim? Slot machines are designed so that players don't have to do much thinking, if any. All they have to do is sit down, put in their money, and push the buttons. If they follow the rules posted on the machines then they have a chance at a win. Some people in shidduchim are "playing" by slot machine rules.
Shidduchim shouldn't be about luck--they should be about brains. There cannot possibly be one set of "rules and regulations" that will fit everyone who is looking for a spouse. If you can't find what you are looking for when "playing" one kind of "slot machine" the answer is not to find another type of machine;their outside appearances may differ somewhat, but they are all the same on the inside. The answer is to stop looking at slot machines. There are lots of ways in the world to come out a "big winner." Persisting with one way in which you have had no success, despite the "odds" against your winning, is to throw your "money" down a hole.
And yet, casinos are full of people playing slot machines, and our communities are full of people "playing" the shidduch game. Both are following all the rules; both are sure they will come out a big winner; both will not "settle" for a "mere" win of $50 or $100 or $125 dollars when they "know" that tomorrow that $10,000 will easily slide into their pockets. Both refuse to recognize that they may be "playing" the wrong "game." It is the few, the very few, who eyeball the "machines" and say "enough!" When the rules are set up not in your favor it's time to either change the rules or move on to a different "game."
Games of Chance
Watch the look of concentration on the faces of those who are playing dreidle. All eyes follow the movement of the dreidle as it spins wildly. And then the shouts when the winner is clear. All this for a penny. And yet, watching how people play games of chance has a relationship to shidduchim.
Let's take the lottery first. There are those people who decide on the numbers they want and they never, ever change those numbers. Their reasoning is that if not today then at some point they will win using those numbers. Last week a man in Staten Island won $17,000,000 dollars in the New York State Lottery. He had been playing the same numbers every week for twenty years. Of course, for every man like that there are probably 970 million people who will not win using this method. (A note: the man elected to get a lump-sum payment. He will be receiving about $5.6 million dollars. So he won the "big" prize and it's not as big a prize as he thought.)
Then there are the people who change their numbers every week. Their reasoning is that eventually they will "have" to find the winning combination. The law of averages says they are wrong.
I was at Waldbaums when someone brought in a winning lottery ticket to cash in. She was not particularly happy with her ticket--she had "only" won $300. "Wow" the rest of us thought. But for this woman only the mega jackpot would do. For her $300 was a paltry sum, a "consolation" prize. Seemed like a small fortune to the rest of us. She was typical of many lottery players who forget that there are many prizes in the lottery, some of higher denomination, some of lower, but all "winning" tickets.
Some people buy huge numbers of tickets from different vendors. Their reasoning is that the more tickets you have in the drawing, the better your chances of winning. Other people buy only one ticket. It's a bitochon issue for them.
Some people do not play the lottery at all. They reason that if they are fated to get a large sum of money, that money will find them somehow. Nothing they are going to do will get that money to them faster. Clearly they have never heard "You have to be in it to win it."
Substitute the terminology of shidduchim and you get a pretty fair description of how some people approach finding a mate.
Let's take the lottery first. There are those people who decide on the numbers they want and they never, ever change those numbers. Their reasoning is that if not today then at some point they will win using those numbers. Last week a man in Staten Island won $17,000,000 dollars in the New York State Lottery. He had been playing the same numbers every week for twenty years. Of course, for every man like that there are probably 970 million people who will not win using this method. (A note: the man elected to get a lump-sum payment. He will be receiving about $5.6 million dollars. So he won the "big" prize and it's not as big a prize as he thought.)
Then there are the people who change their numbers every week. Their reasoning is that eventually they will "have" to find the winning combination. The law of averages says they are wrong.
Then there are the people who approach the lottery like a math problem to be solved. They research every winning number for X number of years. They look at who has won. They attempt to identify which numbers come up most often. They attempt to come up with a formula for a winning combination. And they win with no greater frequency then those who randomly choose a set of numbers.
I was at Waldbaums when someone brought in a winning lottery ticket to cash in. She was not particularly happy with her ticket--she had "only" won $300. "Wow" the rest of us thought. But for this woman only the mega jackpot would do. For her $300 was a paltry sum, a "consolation" prize. Seemed like a small fortune to the rest of us. She was typical of many lottery players who forget that there are many prizes in the lottery, some of higher denomination, some of lower, but all "winning" tickets.
Some people buy huge numbers of tickets from different vendors. Their reasoning is that the more tickets you have in the drawing, the better your chances of winning. Other people buy only one ticket. It's a bitochon issue for them.
Some people do not play the lottery at all. They reason that if they are fated to get a large sum of money, that money will find them somehow. Nothing they are going to do will get that money to them faster. Clearly they have never heard "You have to be in it to win it."
Substitute the terminology of shidduchim and you get a pretty fair description of how some people approach finding a mate.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Just a Minor Holiday
There was an interesting story on the front page of our newspaper on Friday. Jewish consumers on the Island were complaining about a dearth of Chanuka-themed items available this year. "Decorating for the holiday is a real problem this year," one person was quoted as saying. Retailers pointed out that they do their holiday ordering early and it is not that they are confusing Chanukah with Xmas. One frum person was also interviewed and said: "This holiday is not about decorating or all the gifts. It's actually a minor holiday on the Jewish calendar."
Well, yes. He wasn't wrong. All that is really necessary for this holiday is a menorah and some oil. And maybe a dreidle or two. And perhaps some "Chanukah gelt." Or maybe a gift instead of the gelt. And let's not forget a ton or two of potatoes for latkes. And a few dozen sufganiyot. And a rousing rendition of Maoz Tzur and Hanairos Halolu. And for the little ones, fifty-eight repetitions, off key, of "I had a little dreidle," or "Sivivon, sof, sof,sof." Okay, and maybe some of those printed napkins with "chanukah" on them just to add a little extra oomph to the tables that get set and set and set as family comes together on that "minor" holiday that allows driving and huge crowds at groaning tables. And maybe a game or two of "kvitlach" to raise some money for charity.
Chanukah is for many a time for family get togethers. Is there anyone on earth who doesn't sometimes grit their teeth over the thought of everyone they are going to get to see? There's Tante Malka, who hugs you and tells you "I've always loved how that outfit looks on you." Or Tante Esther who greets your single children with a sad smile and says: "Those boys/girls must be blind. Maybe you need to get out more so they can see you better?" Or Tante Rachel, who asks "Are you sure you wanted this color carpet?" The color of carpet won't matter because Uncle Chaim just spilled a plate of chrain on it. Then there is cousin Bayla who announces only when she arrives that she has gone macrobiotic and do you have anything that she can eat. Then there is cousin Moshe who looks at the food on the table and takes out a bottle of Nexium--"Can't take chances" he says. There have to be 11 salad dressings on the table because no one will eat the same one, and of course, you still don't have the one that Yankele has to have or he will cry all night. Uncle Avi will refuse to get driving instructions from you and will arrive over an hour late, and what do you mean you sat down to eat without him! Cousin Rivka will arrive with three extra guests in tow--"I knew you wouldn't mind. You always make too much." And then there is Tante Sarah who asks "Did you really mean for this to taste like this?"
Little Shimmy is sitting quietly in a corner under the piano bench observing with fascination as he pulls all the leaves off your prize orchid. But that's okay because little Yitzchak has somehow found a black indelible marker in his mother's purse and is quietly drawing pictures on the wallpaper in the hallway. Tante Miriam is the only one who is going to insist on helping you serve, only she has her arm in a cast, so of course you refuse. And when you walk into the kitchen after the main meal is finished and dessert is about to come out you think to yourself "I can't really own all those dishes and platters and bowls." And then everyone is suddenly in coats and the air resounds with "I"H next year once again" and you find yourself agreeing.
It's like childbirth. You have a whole year to forget the pain, and then you do it all over again. Actually, I like Chanukah. Any holiday where you can wish someone that the holiday should be "freilach" is just fine by me. So to all of you, a freilachen Chanukah.
Well, yes. He wasn't wrong. All that is really necessary for this holiday is a menorah and some oil. And maybe a dreidle or two. And perhaps some "Chanukah gelt." Or maybe a gift instead of the gelt. And let's not forget a ton or two of potatoes for latkes. And a few dozen sufganiyot. And a rousing rendition of Maoz Tzur and Hanairos Halolu. And for the little ones, fifty-eight repetitions, off key, of "I had a little dreidle," or "Sivivon, sof, sof,sof." Okay, and maybe some of those printed napkins with "chanukah" on them just to add a little extra oomph to the tables that get set and set and set as family comes together on that "minor" holiday that allows driving and huge crowds at groaning tables. And maybe a game or two of "kvitlach" to raise some money for charity.
Chanukah is for many a time for family get togethers. Is there anyone on earth who doesn't sometimes grit their teeth over the thought of everyone they are going to get to see? There's Tante Malka, who hugs you and tells you "I've always loved how that outfit looks on you." Or Tante Esther who greets your single children with a sad smile and says: "Those boys/girls must be blind. Maybe you need to get out more so they can see you better?" Or Tante Rachel, who asks "Are you sure you wanted this color carpet?" The color of carpet won't matter because Uncle Chaim just spilled a plate of chrain on it. Then there is cousin Bayla who announces only when she arrives that she has gone macrobiotic and do you have anything that she can eat. Then there is cousin Moshe who looks at the food on the table and takes out a bottle of Nexium--"Can't take chances" he says. There have to be 11 salad dressings on the table because no one will eat the same one, and of course, you still don't have the one that Yankele has to have or he will cry all night. Uncle Avi will refuse to get driving instructions from you and will arrive over an hour late, and what do you mean you sat down to eat without him! Cousin Rivka will arrive with three extra guests in tow--"I knew you wouldn't mind. You always make too much." And then there is Tante Sarah who asks "Did you really mean for this to taste like this?"
Little Shimmy is sitting quietly in a corner under the piano bench observing with fascination as he pulls all the leaves off your prize orchid. But that's okay because little Yitzchak has somehow found a black indelible marker in his mother's purse and is quietly drawing pictures on the wallpaper in the hallway. Tante Miriam is the only one who is going to insist on helping you serve, only she has her arm in a cast, so of course you refuse. And when you walk into the kitchen after the main meal is finished and dessert is about to come out you think to yourself "I can't really own all those dishes and platters and bowls." And then everyone is suddenly in coats and the air resounds with "I"H next year once again" and you find yourself agreeing.
It's like childbirth. You have a whole year to forget the pain, and then you do it all over again. Actually, I like Chanukah. Any holiday where you can wish someone that the holiday should be "freilach" is just fine by me. So to all of you, a freilachen Chanukah.
A Winter Wonderland
It's New York; I knew it had to happen at some point this winter. But there it is--Sunday morning and the weather forecasters are all talking about a winter wonderland outside our doors. Well, they got some of it right--it's winter and I wonder what I am still doing in this land.
The view from the windows is lovely--the forecasted flurries have outdone themselves here. Two inches covering the cars and streets and just about everything. But that's two inches that will not magically remove itself from the sidewalks and the cars. Especially not with a mix coming this afternoon of rain, sleet and snow.
I admit it--I am feeling decidedly grumpy. Couldn't the weather have held off for just a few days, for just a few hours? I have a ton of errands to run, shopping to do and a chasoneh off the Island. The neighborhood is already abuzz with the sound of snow blowers and snow machines. What I wouldn't give for the chatter of birds and the chirping of crickets instead.
A hot mug of coffee is working its wonders as usual and I'm finally awake enough to look at the snow a bit rationally. That's it, the shoulders are shrugging, and "gam zu l'tovah" flashes through my mind. "They" like to say that "into every life a little rain must fall." "They" aren't wrong, but sometimes it's a little sleet, and sometimes a little hail, and sometimes a little snow, and sometimes a little ice. And sometimes a little turns out to be a lot.
Those shoulders are shrugging harder now. "Get on with it" they tell me. That's what boots and mufflers and gloves and shovels and rock salt are for. Just fortify yourself and off you go.
A second cup of coffee and now I'm waxing philosophical. It takes a snowfall to point out that life doesn't always go as expected, certainly not for weather forecasters, and not for any of the rest of us either. We can sit and grump all day about the things we have no control over, or we can get busy, deal with the inconvenience and get on with our lives.
Rolling with the punches is what we are expected to do. Some do this with more grace then others. Some spend precious energy grumbling all the way; others just "get with the program." Some let life's vicissitudes get them down. Others rise to the challenge with energy and glee.
We can't control the outside forces that sometimes "dump" on us. We can control how we deal with the mess those forces leave. Me? I'm coping with the help of one of those marvelous "extra" gifts of marriage--a husband and a son who are out clearing the paths so I can get going. I think I'll have another cup of coffee. Life is actually quite good, now that I think about it. And outside the window it's snowing again.
The view from the windows is lovely--the forecasted flurries have outdone themselves here. Two inches covering the cars and streets and just about everything. But that's two inches that will not magically remove itself from the sidewalks and the cars. Especially not with a mix coming this afternoon of rain, sleet and snow.
I admit it--I am feeling decidedly grumpy. Couldn't the weather have held off for just a few days, for just a few hours? I have a ton of errands to run, shopping to do and a chasoneh off the Island. The neighborhood is already abuzz with the sound of snow blowers and snow machines. What I wouldn't give for the chatter of birds and the chirping of crickets instead.
A hot mug of coffee is working its wonders as usual and I'm finally awake enough to look at the snow a bit rationally. That's it, the shoulders are shrugging, and "gam zu l'tovah" flashes through my mind. "They" like to say that "into every life a little rain must fall." "They" aren't wrong, but sometimes it's a little sleet, and sometimes a little hail, and sometimes a little snow, and sometimes a little ice. And sometimes a little turns out to be a lot.
Those shoulders are shrugging harder now. "Get on with it" they tell me. That's what boots and mufflers and gloves and shovels and rock salt are for. Just fortify yourself and off you go.
A second cup of coffee and now I'm waxing philosophical. It takes a snowfall to point out that life doesn't always go as expected, certainly not for weather forecasters, and not for any of the rest of us either. We can sit and grump all day about the things we have no control over, or we can get busy, deal with the inconvenience and get on with our lives.
Rolling with the punches is what we are expected to do. Some do this with more grace then others. Some spend precious energy grumbling all the way; others just "get with the program." Some let life's vicissitudes get them down. Others rise to the challenge with energy and glee.
We can't control the outside forces that sometimes "dump" on us. We can control how we deal with the mess those forces leave. Me? I'm coping with the help of one of those marvelous "extra" gifts of marriage--a husband and a son who are out clearing the paths so I can get going. I think I'll have another cup of coffee. Life is actually quite good, now that I think about it. And outside the window it's snowing again.
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