Talking about Schools...

Lest we think that it is only the yeshiva educational system that has deep problems with sustainability, our system of higher education seems to be suffering from some of the same problems. Interesting to me was the mention in the article below of administrative bloating that is affecting many universities and colleges as well.

Michael Barone
The Higher Education Bubble: Ready to Burst?
http://www.jewishworldreview.com/michael/barone090610.php3

So it's Official Now

While waiting for my dentist appointment I was speaking with the dentist's wife, who runs the office. Inevitably the subject of yeshiva tuition came up. This is a family with nine children so tuition is a big issue for them.

Their oldest child is going into his senior year in high school in New Jersey. Another child is entering her freshman year in high school, also in a Jersey school. According to the mother the schools were straight out blunt in telling the parents what the schools expect: the high school time period is now expected to be 5 years: 4 years in the high school proper and one year in Israel. The school expects no exceptions. That optional year in Israel is no longer considered optional for these two schools. The schools tell the students they are going and push the parents to fall in line.

She mentioned that a few other of the boys high schools she had looked at had a different schedule they were mandating. One major boys yeshiva in Far Rockaway tells parents straight out that the boys are to have three years of post-high school learning in the yeshiva before they take the recommended at least one year of study in Israel. College is not mentioned in this scenario. This same high school does not offer a full schedule of secular studies in the senior year for all of its students.

You had to know that it was coming down the road: post-high school limudei kodesh, in Israel and/or in the States, is now a requirement that schools are telling parents they must provide for their children.

This mother of nine is struggling with regular tuition right now. She absolutely refuses to consider the post-high school year in Israel because she plain does not have the money to fund any of it. And the pressure on the part of the schools and yes, on the part of the children's friends, is building up steam. Oh yes, and well-meaning friends in her neighborhood are adding to that pressure as well, pointing out that to be so radically different from all the other children will not be good for her kids.

This particular set of parents have tempered steel for backbones and they won't give in to all the pressure from the yeshivas and friends and neighbors--they can't. But why should they be put in this position to begin with?! I've said it before, and yet here we are again: since when do yeshivas get to make decisions about what children will or won't do instead of parents making those decisions? Since when did in loco parentis for the hours that children are in elementary and high school extend itself to apply to all parenting decisions?

Orthonomics has already reported on two yeshivas that won't be opening this fall--there are many more teetering on the brink. And yet high schools think it's the "right" thing to do to say that all students must extend their education beyond the four years of high school, to make this mandatory? Well, here we have it, proof positive that there are more worlds than just ours on earth in existence. How? It's clear that school administrators and roshei hayeshivot are living in a different world than the one that parents of yeshiva children do. It's clear that in the yeshiva system world money actually grows on trees or can be willed into existence through magical incantations. It's clear that in the yeshiva system world parents are only vessels to be used for creation purposes and then they bow out of their children's lives. Someone in that yeshiva system is mixing up science fiction with real life, and can't tell the difference.

I'd suggest building a bomb shelter in your homes because a gigantic implosion is heading down the turnpike and the fallout isn't going to be pretty. May not happen tomorrow but it's inevitable.

Beating that same Horse

It has been three years since I began this blog. By anyone's reckoning three years is a long time. I went back into my early postings to see what was being talked about back then and to compare it to now. Guess what? The more things change (or the more time that passes) the more things stay the same.

On the discussion radar back then were the following topics: the shidduch crisis, the high cost of tuition, the lack of transparency on the part of yeshivas, school schedules that don't take into consideration family/parental needs, the rising tendency of piling chumrah upon chumrah, a lack of achdus between various of the frum sub-groupings, a lack of proper preparation in some of the frum sub-groupings for getting a job, a disconnect for some of the frum sub-groupings from the general secular society, a lack of foresight and planning for the needs of an aging boomer generation, the world attitude towards Israel, excess consumerism, smachot whose costs are sky high, the unbalanced distribution of money in Klal, abuse in the community, dishonesty in the community, etc., etc., etc..

Look at that list and one thing becomes clear: in three years we've pretty much remained static as regards the problems we identified three years ago (and some were identified long before that). I'm hard put to name even one major innovation that Klal has put into place--or even discussed with real seriousness--that would apply to any of these problems. Even with the added impetus of an economic depression, what can we point to that has been a real change? It may well be that an individual here and there has made changes in the way they do things, but nothing that can be said to be making an impact on the general behavior and attitudes of Klal. If anything, there seems to be more of a disconnect between reality and our practices.

There's a new year coming and we each of us have to make a cheshbon hanefesh. It would be nice of we could also take a few moments to make that cheshbon on behalf on the practices of Klal as a whole. Wouldn't it be wonderful if next year I could excitedly point to even one major innovation, one major change that Klal made for the benefit of all? It would be lovely if next year I could point to doers rather than only to talkers/complainers. It would be lovely if next year would not be a repeat of this year and the years that came before it.

I'm going to take a positive stance here and say that there WILL be changes made this year, changes for the better, there WILL be actions taken, actions that will make a positive difference. And oh how I would love to see these words become reality. At least for now I'll put my pessimism in a dark recess of a closet somewhere. Wouldn't it be lovely if it could stay buried?

Respect, Reverence and Idolatry

My parents raised us to be conscious of and to practice good manners. This went beyond just saying please and thank you. We were taught that one speaks to people considerably older than ourselves in a more "serious" fashion than we would if speaking to someone our own age. We were taught to be respectful of those who have attained more than general knowledge, both secular and knowledge of limudei kodesh. We were taught to speak with respect to the rabbi of our shul. We were taught to speak with respect about those on the higher rungs of rabbanus, the gedolei ha'doar. Full truth? We were taught to speak to everyone respectfully, regardless of their status or position in the world.

We were also taught the posuk that begins "Anochi Elokim--I am the Lord thy God. Thou shall have no other gods before me." That one my parents stressed. They carefully pointed out that there is a real difference between respect and reverence for one on a higher level of learning and idolatry. I believe that today those lines have become exceedingly blurry. In point of fact, there are any number of practitioners of Judaism who idolize their leaders, and not in any positive sense of the word.

Nowhere in any of our writings have we ever been shown a "perfect" human being to model ourselves after. Every one of those written about in Tanach was clearly human, with human fallabilities. My parents would point out to us that one thing we must learn is that even the greatest among us has to keep a strict vigilance over their words and actions, precisely because they are human beings and subject to human error. In fact, they must be even stricter than most of the rest of us, because their words and actions are looked at as being on a higher level. Their words and actions affect not only themselves but the rest of us, who look to them as examples, who look to them for guidance.

When we get into the my rabbi/rebbi/rosh yeshiva/godol is better than yours slanging matches we have gone from reverence to indulging in a form of idolatry. When we refuse to believe that anyone but our chosen godol can possibly have any of the answers we need, we are heading towards idolatry. When we refuse to recognize that anyone else but our chosen godol can see what needs to be done in any and all given situations, we are on the way to idolatry.

In the secular world we would scoff at anyone who claimed expertise in all fields based on their expertise in one field. Look at those anointed to greatness in the general scientific fields. Just because a doctor found a breakthrough in epidemiology would you go to that doctor to have your fractured hip fixed? Rational people don't go to their dentist for heart problems, nor to their heart doctor for dental problems. We recognize the brilliance of each in their field, but we also recognize their limitations. Respect yes, reverence yes, but idolatry no.

But leave the scientific arena and the idea remains the same. I don't call my plumber for accounting advice, nor my accountant to fix a clogged drain; each has their area of expertise, and those areas do not overlap. Even in the accounting and plumbing areas there are sub-divisions and sub-specialties--as there are in most other fields as well. Not every accountant, not every plumber, not every one in any profession you can think of is super well-versed in every area of their field. We recognize this as truth in the secular world, but things break down when we move from the secular to the religious.

Years back we had a question of halacha relating to a medical/scientific problem. We asked our local rabbi for a referral to a rav who would have the knowledge to paskin on that particular issue. We were given the name of someone high in the hierarchy who was absolutely the rav to go to. We didn't question that statement. We went, asked, were given a psak and followed it. The result was almost catastrophic, as a family member almost lost his/her life. The problem wasn't this Rav's ability to understand what the words of the halacha were; the problem was the Rav's lack of total information about the medical problem, and his inability to see/know all that was medically involved. He did not say to us, "I will have to consult with medical specialists to get all the information I might need to give you a psak." He paskened based on what he already knew, and he didn't know enough.

This experience didn't send us off the derech nor destroy our belief that rabbanim high in the hierarchy are learned people. What it did do was point out a basic fact of life that applies today: no one person can know everything about everything. The vastness of the knowledge and information available to us today, information that is expanding even as I write this, precludes any one person from being an expert in everything, and certainly would preclude any one Rav from being "the" Rav to whom all is known.

There is a very fine line between respecting/revering a Rav and idolizing that Rav. Respect says that the Rav has a great deal of knowledge, and sufficient humility to know what he doesn't know and go to others, many others if need be, to gain further knowledge before giving out a psak or admitting that he can't give out a psak because he doesn't know enough to do so. Idolatry places a Rav in the category of "all-knowing," a patent impossibility today.

In the internecine warfare that categorizes so many of the sub-groupings of frum Klal, idolatry has taken a front seat, and it is more than time that it be banished as forbidden. I will respect and revere a Rav for the knowledge he does have; I refuse, however, to practice idolatry and mistakenly infuse that Rav with knowledge and/or characteristics that would make him an "ultra being," outside of the parameters of what is possible for a human being.

What is a Necessity?

The discussions that take place about problems in Klal all seem to contain the words necessity and luxury. In fact, many of these discussions are specifically trying to determine what things that Klal wants/has are necessities and which are luxuries. So many of the discussions flounder because there is no one clear definition of just what a necessity is or what a luxury is as it applies in every case. Let's see why that is so.

According to the dictionary there are multiple definitions of necessity. A necessity is: "something indespensable for life; an imperative requirement; an unavoidable need; something dictated by invariable physical laws; a force exerted by circumstance;being essential, indispensable, or requisite; required by obligation, compulsion, or convention; applies to what is thought necessary to fill out, complete, or perfect something; needed to achieve a certain result or effect."

If a necessity is seen as something without which there can be no life, then food, water, oxygen and sleep are the basic necessities. But even here there is a caveat: is simply living enough? I can't think of anyone who would not say that they want a good life. Is there anyone who wilfully chooses a bad life? The deprivations of the Holocaust showed us that life was still possible even if food, water and sleep were minimal at best and eratic in delivery. Is there anyone who would live in such a way if they were given a choice? No. So, even with necessities we see that there are degrees based on the constructs of good and bad, and good and bad are subjective in nature rather than objective. We may all have enough of the required elements to sustain just plain being alive, but we can differ in how good or bad we consider that life.

There is also this definition of necessity:"required by obligation, compulsion, or convention." Now we come into the area that so much of the arguing is about. How do we fall under an obligation or a compulsion or a convention? We live in societal groups. Those groups have requirements for membership. The requirements may be governmental, geographic, monetary, ethnic, racial, gender-based, age-based, educational attainment-based, marital status-based and yes, religion-based. These requirements themselves have multiple divisions within them, divisions whose obligations, compulsions and conventions may be radically different from the other divisions.

There is a government in Iran; there is a government in the US. Both may be governments, but what they require of the people who fall under their aegis has almost no point of similarity. But there are even further divisions that can change what a necessity is. Here in the US there isn't just one government. We have the federal government, state government, county government and city government. Each of these has their own sets of obligations, compulsions and conventions. Someone living in Nassau County, NY may have different necessities re government than someone living in Richmond County, NY. Someone living in NYC may have different necessities than someone living in Los Angeles. Someone living in Florida may have different necessities than someone living in Montana.

To further complicate things, we are members of multiple groups, some of whose requirements, compulsions and obligations may be identical and some of which may not be. The characteristics of any individual member of a group may differ greatly from the characteristics of other members of that group precisely because of other groups they may also be a member of. Therefore, even membership in one particular group does not mean that a person will view what is necessary in the same way as other members.

Jews form one grouping in society. Degree and type of observance of Judaism form many subgroupings. If those were the only groupings we had to consider when deciding what is a necessity and what is a luxury we'd have plenty of disagreement. Now add in that, like it or not, we have multiple memberships in other groups outside of our religious group, memberships that bring with them certain necesssities, certain obligations or compulsions.

If we are going to argue, for instance, that parents who are receiving ANY kind of tuition assistance should not be indulging in luxuries but should only be buying bare necessities, just what is it that we are arguing? For tuition aid receiving parents a school could impose rulings that certain items are not considered necessities and should not be indulged in. Yet, some of those parents fall into many other groupings other than yeshiva parents, and for those groupings some of what the yeshiva considers luxuries rather than necessities may be considered as necessities, not luxuries.

Two parents, both working. It's quite likely that two cars would be viewed as a necessity in this case by some, and as a luxury by others. And since both parents work and there are children who cannot be left alone, babysitting is necessary. And some type of continuous childcare during the summer months when school is not in session will be necessary. Many of these types of parents opt in for sleepaway camp. And many of their critics point out that this is a luxury, not a necessity. Day camp at home is the better choice. Un huh. That would be day camp plus babysitting to cover the hours between when camp ends and parents arrive home. And quite possibly other paid arrangements to take the children to and from camp. And the very real probability that with this many caretakers involved at least one arrangement is going to fall through fairly regularly. There are zillions of examples that could be given, and no doubt in my mind that there would be an argument about the necessity of each and every one.

So, to end off, a whole lot of the arguments that go on in Klal are never going to solve anything, are never going to come up with new ideas of how to proceed because the things being argued about are looked at differently by differing parts of the community. Some groups and some individuals are defining necessity in one way while other groups and individuals may be defining necessity in other ways. What's more, some groups are defining necessities for themselves differently from how they would define those necessities for someone else. And yes, in some cases, never the twain shall meet.

English? What's That?

A friend, retired from the public school system, has been teaching a while in a chasidishe elementary school. He reported back on a conversation he had with his fifth grade and my husband shared that conversation with me.

Our friend was giving the boys a mussar shmooze on the importance for them of learning at least English, if they gave no importance to history or science. Basically he told them, "You need to be able to read a contract for business reasons, you need to be able to understand what you are signing and what that obligates you to. You need to be able to communicate with various business authorities and you need to be able to not only understand what they say to you but you need to make yourself understood to them."

One of his fifth graders responded: "Far dos vell ich hobben ah veib"--for this I will have a wife. Chasidishe secular education philosophy in a nutshell.

I'm old enough to remember when a large part of my parents' generation was referred to as "greenuh." The newly arrived immigrants from Europe were particularly characterized by their poor skills in English. But here's the thing--that generation struggled and worked hard to attain English language skills, to be able to function as a "regular" member of American society. To be complimented on their English usage was a compliment of the highest degree. A scant 3-4 generations later we've got a new generation of greenuh, born and raised here and less fluent in English than their grandparents and great grandparents were, and it bothers them not at all.

Just what is the frum veldt coming to?

What's In a Name?

We spent last Shabbos in Las Vegas. There is a La Quinta Inn that is right next door to the Young Israel shul with all sorts of conveniences for the frum traveler. There are kitchenettes in each room and the automatic door cards are replaced for Shabbos with plain room keys. In addition, as you check in they remind you that breakfast is served free every morning to hotel guests, and that everything is kosher with the exception of the cake.

But the best line of the entire trip was uttered by the reservations clerk who was checking us in. As he was giving us the keys we requested for Shabbos, he asked, in all seriousness, "Are you Sabbath preservers?"

Yup, that's us all right--Sabbath preservers.