What's In a Name?

Someone once asked me in an email, referring to the blog, what my real name was. I answered "Prof K." He responded that no, that was my fake name, one taken to provide anonymity. He wanted to know what my real name was. Again, I responded "Prof K." Let me explain why I consider that answer as 100% correct.

We seem to think that we have only one name that we go through life with. Really? Let's take the case of a female born into a Jewish family. After birth that child is given a name by her parents. When the name is given that name will be Rivka Brocha bas Ehpraim Anshel HaLevi. Is that her name? Yes and no. That full name will be used when a mi'sheberach is made. It will be used under the chupah. But does anyone ever introduce themselves to others in a group in this way? No, they likely use one of their other names.

Perhaps her father calls her Rivka Brocha, and she answers to that name when she is talking with her dad. Perhaps her mother calls her Rivkale, and she answers to that name when with her mom. Perhaps her father's mother calls her Brochie and perhaps her mother's mother calls her Rivchu. Perhaps her youngest brother calls her Ribi and her oldest brother calls her Riv. Now imagine if we add in all the names that the aunts and uncles and cousins might call her.

Her best friend calls her Riki. One of her not so best friends calls her Ribs. Her teachers may call her Rivke or they may call her Miss Brown. One of her neighbors calls her sweetpea. Her pediatrician may call her Rebecca. The government calls her Rebecca Betty Brown. You think I'm finished? Nope. Rivka Brocha has red hair. There are some who are going to call her gingy, and she will respond to the name.

Then she grows up, goes to college, gets a job, gets married and has children. She will now be answering to a whole new slew of names. Our little Rivka Brocha Brown is now the wife of Moshe Sofer. Among her new names will be Mrs. Moshe Sofer, Mrs. Rivka Brocha Sofer, Mrs. Rivka Sofer, Rivka Sofer, Mrs. Martin Sofer, Mrs. Rebecca Sofer, Rebecca Sofer etc.. Some will refer to her as Rivka Brown Sofer or perhaps Rebecca Brown Sofer. Her husband may add in some new names as well--honey, sweetheart, Brooks etc.. To her in laws her new name might simply be shneer. Rivka likes to cook and is darned good at it. Some people refer to her as chef Sofer and she answers.

Now she becomes a mother. Enter more new names. She may be mommy or mom or moms or ima or mumsy or mama or any other construction that appeals to her kids. Let's say that she becomes a college professor. She will add Professor Sofer or Dr. Sofer to her list of names. Should she assume additional responsibilities in the college she may now add Dean Sofer to her names. But let's give Rivka incredible talent in computers. Now we can add in the name of geek, uttered affectionately by those who appreciate that talent.

Let's let Rivka be a talented writer on top of everything else she is good at. She has written some textbooks in her field. Her author name for those textbooks is Rebecca Sofer, PhD. But she also has a great sense of humor and has written some humorous books for kids. There her author name is R. Brown-Sofer. And our multi-faceted woman also has a blog, maybe even two or three blogs. The first blog is about her personal musings about the world in general. For that blog her name is MyView. Her second blog is one that deals with the subject matter she teaches. On that blog she is Prof B. Her third blog is about household matters and cooking. For that blog she is called ChefaLicious. Now sometimes our Rivka comments on other blogs or on sites online or perhaps writes letters to the editors of newspapers. Sometimes she uses the name Anonymous, sometimes Irate Reader, sometimes Stop the Madness, sometimes a whole lot of other names.

Have I covered all of Rivka's possible names yet? Not by a long shot. Rivka is only forty and she has many years more to collect a whole slew of names that she will use and answer to. She has yet to add in all the names for mother in law, grandmother and great grandmother. And then there will be what the machatonim will call her.

We all of us have a wide variety of names that we use and that we answer to, mostly depending on whom we are talking to, where we are and what we are doing. Sometimes, when being introduced to someone new, we proffer one name, sometimes another. What name we use and when and where we use it is not a question of hiding our "real" name--all of our names are our real names. Sometimes the name we give is a way of establishing how we wish to be thought of in a particular situation/time period. Other times we proffer a name because we want those we are speaking with to concentrate on our words, not on what a different name might bring along as baggage.

I know that there are readers here who know some of my other names. So? I'm not in the Wit Sec program, and I'm not hiding out from the bad guys when I use Prof K here. I know of some readers who associate that Prof K with other situations as well as with the blog. So to the reader who was insisting on knowing my "real" name, Prof K is the correct answer, for here and now. Meet me in other places, other times, other situations and you may hear other names. Just keep this in mind--they are all mine.