Friday, December 28, 2007

Mother Goosed: The Tale of HindaElla--Part XII

If the Prince heard HindaElla leaving he gave no indication. He was sunk into his own little world somewhere. He barely noticed when one of his frogs leaped up onto his knee and from there to his shoulder. "Blewit, blewit, blewit," the frog croaked into the Prince's ear. Absentmindedly the Prince scratched the frog under its chin and corrected "That's ribbit, ribbit, ribbit."

The frog could be forgiven for rolling its eyes. "I mean you blew it Princie boy."

The Prince blinked his eyes. He was being addressed by a frog! "Frogs don't talk," the Prince said. "It's not a part of their makeup."

The frog began to lose patience. "Listen Princie, you are so the wrong person to be telling me the facts of life. Look what a mess you have made of your own life!"

The Prince blinked again. "Me? What did I do? Everyone else has been making a mess of my life!"

The frog sat back on its haunches and stared the Prince straight in the eye. "So none of this is your fault? Tell it to the Marines!" The frog continued: "You know what? You aren't even smart enough to qualify to be a frog. You're just a...a...a great big horny toad!" the frog finished triumphantly.

The Prince looked dumbfounded. No one had ever spoken to him like this before! "My father has had men hung for less then this," he told the frog sternly.

"Yeah, well tell it to someone who cares Princie," the frog answered the Prince. Suddenly the frog changed tack. "You just gonna let her walk away like that?"

"She has to want to stay froggie," the Prince said sadly.

"So," the frog began nonchalantly, "did you give her a reason to stay?" The Prince looked blankly at the frog. Sighing, the frog elaborated: "Did you tell her you want her to stay?"

The Prince quickly searched his memory. " I told her not to leave me."

The frog was growing exasperated. "But did you tell her why you want her here? Did you tell her how much you enjoy her company? Did you tell her that with her you are free to say what you want without fear that someone will laugh? For heavens sake, did you tell her you like her?!" The frog gave a little frog-sneer at the Prince. "Oh no, that wouldn't do would it? What is she supposed to do? Read your mind? Get real Princie!"

"Then tell me what I need to do! I don't want to marry that Mutergotten person!"

"That's Gottenmuter, and listen up real closely Princie." With that the frog commenced whispering in the Prince's ear: "Do you know what women want? Do you know what men want? Pay attention!"

If the Prince's color went from green to bright red there was no one paying him enough attention to notice. All around him was the pandemonium of dozens of voices trying to settle the Prince's future. But the Prince was listening raptly to one little frog with a whole lot to say.

To Be Continued

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