tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post4345836754204529114..comments2024-02-23T04:39:49.329-05:00Comments on Conversations in Klal: On YerushaProfKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17954446826821665314noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-28744410893414055442010-12-14T15:33:29.654-05:002010-12-14T15:33:29.654-05:00Count me in as one person who hopes her parents wi...Count me in as one person who hopes her parents will enjoy their money. They helped give me a good start in life, and I would like to see them reap the rewards of their own discipline.Orthonomicshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07892074485262548496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-87079315616944655882010-12-14T13:25:28.459-05:002010-12-14T13:25:28.459-05:00Expecting a yerushah from parents can cause warfa...Expecting a yerushah from parents can cause warfare between siblings when parents die. <br /><br />My aunt and uncle suffered all kinds of illnesses for the last 15-20 years they lived. While all the kids called often enough to speak to their parents only one daughter became the hard work caretaker. She was the one that was constantly with her parents and doing for them. Towards the end her mom moved into her house. She couldn't work the last years because she was with her parents all the time.<br /><br />When her parents died they left some items to the other siblings and also a bit of money but the bulk of whatever was left, and that was mostly the money gotten from their house when it was sold, went to this daughter. The war that broke out was really ugly. At least her parents took care of things with a lawyer. One brother wanted to take this sister to a din Torah for stealing what was rightfully his as he put it.<br /><br />Relations are still so bad after 6 years that no one in the family can invite all the siblings to one simcha because they won't sit down in the same place with each other.Chananoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-79341300922879140992010-12-14T12:50:14.525-05:002010-12-14T12:50:14.525-05:00It's not for nothing that the gemara (Eruvin 5...It's not for nothing that the gemara (Eruvin 54a) advises parents to avoid leaving their children large inheritances. The child described above illustrates one of the various pitfalls involved in large bequests.The Rebbetzin's Husbandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14977193945074906534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-92111674873621938852010-12-14T11:07:25.388-05:002010-12-14T11:07:25.388-05:00The best thing parents can do for their children i...The best thing parents can do for their children is to let them know up front that there will be no inheretance, apart from some family heirlooms/jewelry/ritual items. Then, if there is something left, there can be a pleasant surprise and in the interim the children aren't counting their chickens before they hatch. I think that in some families the parents inadvertently lead their children to believe there is more money than there really is, such as by showering gifts on the grandchildren and helping with expenses.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-45708598978426705392010-12-14T10:58:51.483-05:002010-12-14T10:58:51.483-05:00Even where there will be some money that older par...Even where there will be some money that older parents will still have when they die, kids need to realize that the parents may have committed some of that money away from the kids. A lot of people leave bequests in their wills to charities, either as a direct donation or to establish a memorial fund in their name. They may also leave bequests to other family members besides the kids.<br /><br />My grandparents arranged things this way, but our parents knew about it before hand and weren't counting on all the money coming to them.Evanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-70259740474373521012010-12-14T09:51:02.739-05:002010-12-14T09:51:02.739-05:00A friend is a financial advisor, he said when work...A friend is a financial advisor, he said when working with clients, he describes retirement as three phases:<br /><br />1. The go-go years<br />2. The slow-go years<br />3. The no-go years<br /><br />In the Go-Go years, the 65 year olds in good health are enjoying their free time to travel, do the things they couldn't before, etc., enjoying their golden years.<br /><br />As age sets in, there is less traveling because rigorous travel sets in.<br /><br />As old age sets in, the no-go years watch wealth destroyed as declining health and mounting health care costs can wipe out the most frugal investors.<br /><br />His thoughts on that, divide your wealth to cover those years. Let yourself take some money to spend in early retirement, while you can enjoy it. Get a long-term care policy so the no-go years don't wipe you out, and use a whole life policy to cover cash needs (if necessary) along the way while also leaving assets to heirs. There are far more details than that, but the point is, you scrimped and saved, you should enjoy. The window when you have the time to travel, resources to travel or whatever it is you want to do, and physical stamina to travel is pretty small, you should take advantage of it.<br /><br />Whether that is a Persian rug to walk on or a trip to the mountains of Tibet, enjoy it.<br /><br />And if you do inherit money, it's tempting to bail yourself out of financial pickles and treat yourself... however, if you weren't putting money away before the inheritance, you are unlikely to do so now, so just fixing the balance sheet as a one time thing is NOT helpful.<br /><br />And the most important rule of family wealth, that people don't know if they don't have any: NEVER, NEVER, EVER touch the principal.Miami Alhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02977503720972852329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-6169993945371103852010-12-14T09:42:51.350-05:002010-12-14T09:42:51.350-05:00You could turn this post into a whole series of po...You could turn this post into a whole series of posts given the numerous interesting topics discussed.<br /><br />Money in general causes lots of fighting and jealousy and ill will - how much more so, when it's someone else's money you stand in line to inherit!<br /><br />It seems almost unavoidable to cause fights. The grandmother's ring? What if there are two daughters? Who gets it? The beautiful kiddush cup? Which son does it go to? Do you divide assets evenly amongst children? What if one is far better off than the rest? What if one child takes care of the elderly parents exclusively? There are so many points of contention.<br /><br />The real issue is that so much money is flowing down to the younger generations to pay for necessities and luxuries. Categorize it however you want, but parents and grandparents routinely help with down payments for houses, yeshiva tuition, pesach hotels, trips to visit, baby furniture, simchas, support for learning, etc. That doesn't leave much money for the elderly and soon to be elderly. With people living longer and being less ready for retirement (this is true in the general populace, how much more so in frum society where some view retirement savings as treif even if they have left over to save), it's going to be a big problem.<br /><br />Add on that many of these younger generations are expecting some kind of yerusha to get them out of some financial pickle. They see all the financial support they get now and they think they're gonna hit the lottery when bubbe dies. Aside from being macabre and twisted, I think it will be less and less true moving forward due to depleting the wealth of the elderly on the young.<br /><br />It's an interesting point though - some elderly people want to give their money over to their children and grandchildren while alive to see them use it and enjoy it. In that sense, this isn't bad, but if these people have nothing left to care for themselves, it's a real problem.JSnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-66704191611890186192010-12-14T09:34:36.611-05:002010-12-14T09:34:36.611-05:00Not only should people not count on an inheritance...Not only should people not count on an inheritance, they should be saving some money to help take care of their parents if necessary.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-18445733939423722352010-12-14T08:57:17.528-05:002010-12-14T08:57:17.528-05:00Fact of life--people are living longer today. Mor...Fact of life--people are living longer today. More years=more money needed not less. For most people yerusha is going to be a word in the dictionary not money in the bank. Just another economic fact the younger generations are going to have to face.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com