tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post911874091011871280..comments2024-02-23T04:39:49.329-05:00Comments on Conversations in Klal: Playing the Game of Who, When and WhereProfKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17954446826821665314noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-85812152134707414962008-04-07T16:17:00.000-04:002008-04-07T16:17:00.000-04:00Your children don't "belong" to you. What if they...Your children don't "belong" to you. What if they choose not to go to parents or in laws at all? What if they choose to do kiruv in Eastern Europe or take Pesach as an opportunity to go on vacation to a kosher hotel in Costa Rica?<BR/><BR/>Conversely, married children should not de facto expect to go to their parents. What if your parents can't have all the siblings and grandchildren when they all want to come?<BR/><BR/>I love my Mom's philosophy. Everyone is welcome to come, and if you come, you are welcomed with open arms. If you choose to make Yom Tov in your own home or anything else, no hard feelings.SaraKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08053908720926177402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-60190203215191869822008-04-07T01:22:00.000-04:002008-04-07T01:22:00.000-04:00It's kind of sad... I don't think my entire family...It's kind of sad... I don't think my entire family's been together in one place for at least six years, and now that there are B"H more members all over it's unlikely that we will ever be all together again. I still kind of dream that maybe we'll find some way to have everyone at my wedding... oh well, there's still time to think about that. Hopefully by then we'll all be in Yerushalayim habenuyah.<BR/><BR/>The previous generation was much easier to coordinate because we all lived in the same city at least. I think in general people used to move around less than they do today. My immediate family alone lives in 4 different cities on two continents (we're not a big family, either)Bas~Melechhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01511197551248863790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-7321211631296652512008-04-06T22:08:00.000-04:002008-04-06T22:08:00.000-04:00"It really is hard when your kids start getting ma..."It really is hard when your kids start getting married and they don't belong to you exclusively any more."<BR/><BR/>... otherwise known as life ... isn't it great!<BR/><BR/>MarkAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-80237487861002487972008-04-06T18:21:00.000-04:002008-04-06T18:21:00.000-04:00It really is hard when your kids start getting mar...It really is hard when your kids start getting married and they don't belong to you exclusively any more. The first few years I got kind of upset about the schedule of when the kids would come to us and when go to the in laws. Now I see how silly I really was. When they get married they become their own family and they have the kind of obligations that we have also. You need to see them as adults, not just your kids.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-35555608951968831762008-04-06T16:14:00.000-04:002008-04-06T16:14:00.000-04:00One of our mechutanim wrote a computer program so ...One of our mechutanim wrote a computer program so we could all of us schedule who was coming to who for the holidays. It's worked great for the past few years but this year our daughter is screwing up the schedule for everyone. She is due with a baby this Tuesday and is coming home to us for Pesach. And it wasn't her year to be in our house. You should have seen the rearranging that was needed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-21058643315227286152008-04-06T14:20:00.000-04:002008-04-06T14:20:00.000-04:00You didn't mention the pink elephant in the room--...You didn't mention the pink elephant in the room---money. The plain facts are that when children live all over the world it costs money to fly home for a yom tov. Not just one yom tov a year but two or more. Now either the parents are going to have to pay for the tickets or the children are going to have to pay. And sometimes one or the other of them cannot afford those tickets. And sometimes neither of them can afford the tickets. And sometimes it's cheaper for the parents to go to the children. And then there is the cost of all those people for yomtov. People assume that if you are older you have a lot of money that younger people don't have, and that is just not true. <BR/><BR/>We have four married kids and one single one in college who is looking to get married. Those married kids have given us 17 grandchildren so far. They also do not any of them live near the others. One is in the NJ area while we are in NY. One is in Israel. One is on the west coast and one in the midwest. What should I do? Not pay the college tuition for the youngest so that his brothers and sisters can come to us when they want? Should I take from the money we saved up for this last wedding we will need to pay for? Go into a debt I don't know if I could repay or not for air tickets? We fly to see the children when we can afford it. I don't say I like it but my mom used to say that money doesn't grow on trees and she was right.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com