tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post1741771148195418802..comments2024-02-23T04:39:49.329-05:00Comments on Conversations in Klal: ...Get a Toaster OvenProfKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17954446826821665314noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-25378673126253596772008-05-24T23:31:00.000-04:002008-05-24T23:31:00.000-04:00I don't agree mlevin. There is plenty of hysteria...I don't agree mlevin. There is plenty of hysteria in discussing this already. What is needed is some logical, calm discussion on what really can be guarded against and what can't be. The posting pretty much does that. And if you are looking for outrage, read the last paragraph again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-27737164079705831792008-05-23T16:05:00.000-04:002008-05-23T16:05:00.000-04:00ProfK = While I agree with your take on the issue,...ProfK = While I agree with your take on the issue, I don't like your tone. It is too resigned. To accepting. <BR/><BR/>Where is anger that I expected, frustration, disgust?<BR/><BR/>On a side note I have a big problem with "Dror Yeshorim" and I think you should start another post on that. My problem is the fact that results of the test are kept secret from the girls and boys themselves. When my daughter was of age we opted against "Dror Yeshorim" and just went to the doctor for a test. Doctor gave her her results and that was the end of a story. My youngest will be taking the same route, and if her school insists on "Dror Yeshorim" I will call them and give them a piece of my mind on this issue.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-4354338522148050962008-05-23T14:24:00.000-04:002008-05-23T14:24:00.000-04:00It's part of human nature to be afraid of the unkn...It's part of human nature to be afraid of the unknown. We hear about a medical condition somewhere in a possible shidduch's family or maybe in the person themselves and we get frightened. We starting asking ourselves "what if this should happen to my grandchildren?" What we don't do enough of is educate ourselves on what that condition really is and how it can really affect the future kids. <BR/><BR/>One of my nieces is only 4'11" tall. Her parents are very tall people. When she went into shidduchim people would hear her height, ask how tall the parents were and then assume that something must be wrong with her if she is that short. One possible shidduch was turned down because the boy's parents were worried about dwarfism, and since people lie about shidduchim, they assumed the worst and wouldn't go forward with the shidduch. If you are going to worry about genetics then actually learn about genetics. We had a very short grandmother, far more common in her day. That short gene is still around and shows up sometimes. Nothing to do with dwarfism and everything to do with ignorance on the part of others.<BR/><BR/>And if one of her children should turn out to be short? What does that have to do with anything that should be important to marriage?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-36457399607646999182008-05-23T13:31:00.000-04:002008-05-23T13:31:00.000-04:00G, this is relaxed.G, this is relaxed.ProfKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17954446826821665314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-81170870939003840212008-05-23T10:36:00.000-04:002008-05-23T10:36:00.000-04:00Jesus H. Finkelstein...you really need to relax.Jesus H. Finkelstein...you really need to relax.Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08512231582715592098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-58902251317375216052008-05-23T09:11:00.000-04:002008-05-23T09:11:00.000-04:00G,I'm not recommending extremism--see the note on ...G,<BR/>I'm not recommending extremism--see the note on Dror Yeshorim and on having common sense.<BR/><BR/>Everything else is commentary? If by commentary you mean explanation and further elucidation and a differing of opinion on how to look at things, then let's hear it for commentary. We already had the Mishna--what did we need the Gemorah for if not for commentary? And was it not you who "insisted" on commentary on the Donne poem?<BR/><BR/>As to your predictive state, perhaps you will sleep better if you put it down to recognizing that some topics fall into a general area of interest of mine.ProfKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17954446826821665314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-56877827144877386432008-05-23T08:49:00.000-04:002008-05-23T08:49:00.000-04:00I've said it before, I'll say it again. Going to ...I've said it before, I'll say it again. Going to the extreme in either direction is no good for anybody.<BR/><BR/><I>What's really bad for shidduchim is the fact that people are turning into liars.</I><BR/><BR/>Everything else is commentary.<BR/><BR/>-I'm not sure how happy I am about the fact that I predicted this little diatribe...don't know that I want to be that dialed in;)Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08512231582715592098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-79820610816638260442008-05-23T08:42:00.000-04:002008-05-23T08:42:00.000-04:00Just a small comment here to "lighten" things up a...Just a small comment here to "lighten" things up a bit. Beware of following medical statistics slavishly. People look at the numbers presented and all too often base a shidduch on whether the numbers are favorable or not. A friend called me all excitedly. She announced with glee that she was going to go back to smoking cigarettes. I asked what ever for. She answered: "They just came up with a study that shows that 60% of all cigarette smokers die. Since 100% of the rest of us die, I want to be in that 40% that won't die. Better odds of living forever by smoking." She was tongue in cheek when she said this, but so many others see a number and never bother to actually look at what that number is saying. As Joel Best warned: "some statistics are born bad."ProfKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17954446826821665314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-80856699047895091102008-05-23T08:03:00.000-04:002008-05-23T08:03:00.000-04:00It sometimes looks to me like people are looking f...It sometimes looks to me like people are looking for a reason to turn down a shidduch instead of accepting it so they bring out some medical reason that "proves" that the shidduch is wrong. My grandfather died of a heart condition at a pretty young age (46). This scared off lots of shidduchim for my brother. Because one person died from something all the men in the family were going to die young too? Can anyone say Auschwitz? Can anyone say starvation and deprivation that did horrible things to the bodies of the men and women in the concentration camps? He got married anyway because his wife's family was looking for a husband for their daughter. They weren't looking for a medical statistic. They were smart enough to know that everybody has a something in their history.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-73190139195028117152008-05-23T00:38:00.000-04:002008-05-23T00:38:00.000-04:00I'd like to add one thought to the excellent point...I'd like to add one thought to the excellent points made already:<BR/><BR/>One thing that should affect the sensibility rating of any precaution is its reliability. For instance, Tay Sachs, Familial Dysautonomia, and other predominantly Jewish diseases can be nearly 100% prevented by genetic screening (which is why the incidence of both of the above has drastically fallen since Dor Yeshorim came into favor).<BR/><BR/>Compare to Down Syndrome, which is MOST often not hereditary at all. "Current research (as of 2-19-8) has shown that Down syndrome is due to a random event [<I>ed: read, "act of God"</I>] during the formation of sex cells or pregnancy." (Wikipedia) Other conditions, too, are at least as likely to happen to people with no hereditary predisposition.<BR/><BR/>I think shadchanim owe it to their clientele to do a bit of research on this and related subjects in order to present people with a well-rounded perspective. We as a klal also need to do our part to educate ourselves and each other so that we can be more understanding of fellow Jews in all different situations.Bas~Melechhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01511197551248863790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-2846458536774972522008-05-22T23:18:00.000-04:002008-05-22T23:18:00.000-04:00The fear of the shidduchim consequences of disease...The fear of the shidduchim consequences of disease has even worse effects. often people do not get adequate medical screening and treatment, for fear it will effect their kids shiduchim. For many cancers early detection and treatment is crucial; this fear causes death.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-81877458008024820042008-05-22T18:57:00.000-04:002008-05-22T18:57:00.000-04:00What's really bad for shidduchim is the fact that ...<I>What's really bad for shidduchim is the fact that people are turning into liars.<BR/><BR/>Be sensible, yes; insist on "genetic purity"--wasn't that the Nazi's party line?</I><BR/><BR/><BR/>Bravo! Bravo! EXCELLENT post.SaraKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08053908720926177402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2096776708897685863.post-75604516389328419912008-05-22T18:08:00.000-04:002008-05-22T18:08:00.000-04:00Really only one thing to say-----APPLAUSE! As one...Really only one thing to say-----APPLAUSE! As one among the ones that are less than perfect, thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com